once & done: destiel one shots

Mistletoe (college-aged AU)

Prompt: college, a group of friends organise Christmas dinner before they all go on Xmas break. There's a mistletoe somewhere & of course Cas and Dean get caught up under it. This is a slight variation of this prompt and made me really emotional?? 1k.

#

There is a high probability Charlie Bradbury is responsible for the mistletoe hanging in the doorway of Dean Winchester's kitchen.

She has avoided Castiel's eyes ever since he unknowingly walked underneath it, sending a peal of laughter around the party. Dean walked up next to him, pitching the laughter into an "ooh!" accompanied by a sea of upturned faces. Looking up in kind, Castiel saw the offending plant, heard Dean's hard swallow - he saw it too.

His regard for Dean is not a party joke. It's also not common knowledge; he doesn't know most of the people here. If he makes a big deal out of this, it will only raise suspicion, so he rolls his eyes and plants a kiss square on Dean's mouth as though it's nothing. Then he walks away, gets a beer from the fridge, and flicks the bottle cap in the sink, his back to the room.

He's loved Dean for six years, since Castiel's family moved to Kansas and Dean nearly stabbed Castiel with a pencil when a transformer blew during homeroom. Dean sat with him at lunch and gave him a ride home to apologize, and became a fixture in Castiel's day. Castiel ran track; Dean was on the wrestling and baseball teams and copied Cas's notes when he daydreamed in class. Dean ate dinner at Castiel's house as often as his own, and they sometimes fell asleep and woke up wrapped around each other. They double-dated for prom. Castiel watched him dance with Lisa over Meg's shoulder, face hot when Dean caught him staring and didn't look away. They stayed like that the rest of the song, and Castiel thought, impossibly, that Dean felt the same way about him.

But Dean and Lisa were crowned prom king and queen minutes later. Dean kissed her in front of everyone. Castiel chose an out-of-state college and doesn't come home except for Christmas.

Dean isn't in love with him, and the only time Castiel will ever get to kiss him has just happened, a throwaway holiday tradition in front of drunk college seniors.

He feels sick. Worse, he feels cheated of something he never expected to have, given to him in the cheapest way possible.

He should've stayed at school over the holidays.

He finishes his beer and gets his coat, making an excuse about needing air, no intention of going back inside. He's out of place. These are Dean's friends. Castiel was invited as a courtesy.

Leaning against the side of the building, he kicks at the snow, watching his breath curl white and dissipate. He's been drinking. He shouldn't drive, especially with the roads icy.

He assumes it's Charlie coming down the stairs to find him, surprised when Dean pokes his head out.

"You don't smoke," he says. "What're you doing out here?"

Castiel shrugs and doesn't answer. Sniffing, Dean comes fully outside and stands next to him, shoving both hands in his pockets. He doesn't have a coat on, just a sweatshirt, and it's below freezing.

"Sorry about what happened, with the, uh."

"The mistletoe."

"Yeah."

"It's fine," Castiel lies.

They're quiet for a few minutes. He's always liked that he can be quiet with Dean, that the times they don't speak are as comfortable as the times they do. The last four years hasn't changed that, and Castiel feels a pang of longing in his heart and bites down hard to keep it from showing on his face.

Dean clears his throat. "How've you been, man?"

"Very well. You?"

"I'm okay."

"Good," Castiel says. His voice sounds thin. He's angry at himself. He shouldn't have had that last beer.

"Are you pissed at me?" Dean asks. He's turned his head, staring down Castiel's profile. "I don't get why you're acting like this."

"Like what?"

"Like you don't wanna be around me. Dammit, Cas, I never get to see you."

Dean rubs his arms, teeth beginning to chatter from the cold, and it snaps Castiel out of his self-imposed misery. "Of course I want to be around you," he says, forcing himself to smile for Dean's sake. "I was just overheated."

It does the trick. Dean's face brightens, and he grasps Castiel's shoulders. "You'll stay tonight, right? Once they all leave?"

Castiel nods against his better judgment and lets Dean lead the way back inside.

#

"Like old times," Dean says, throwing him a pair of pajama pants. They change with their backs to one another and climb into bed to the flickering light off the television. Dean props pillows behind their backs and channel surfs, settling on a procedural cop show - the kind he claims not to like. They watch two episodes, slumped against each other, Dean's foot nudging Castiel's ankle under the covers. Between the beer and the familiar warmth of being so close to Dean again, Castiel easily falls asleep.

He wakes up to Dean switching off the television.

"You conked out on me," Dean says.

"Tired." Yawning, Castiel flops down and tugs the covers up over his shoulders. He watches Dean settle on the other pillow.

"I miss you," Dean says after a while.

"I miss you too."

"You know..." Dean laughs, scrubbing a hand over his face and rolls onto his back, so he is looking at the ceiling. "That wasn't at all how I thought it'd be, us kissing."

Castiel frowns and just manages to lift his head from the pillow. "What?"

"Always thought it'd be in my car. Maybe last a little longer."

Shocked, Castiel lies speechless. He hears himself swallow, the wind and traffic outside, the rustle of sheets when Dean turns onto his side to face him again. He sees the look on Castiel's face, surprise and grief and hope, and it must be enough for him, because he brushes his fingers down Castiel's jaw.

"You thought I didn't know. How you felt."

Castiel shakes his head.

"Sorry it took me so long to come around," Dean says.

Castiel kisses him for the second time, and it's better than any fantasy he ever concocted, because Dean's lips are actually pressed to his. Dean is moaning quietly into his mouth, whispering Castiel's name, hands coming up to frame his face. Dean might love him, and Castiel might have a good reason to return to Kansas following his graduation in the spring.

There is a high probability Charlie Bradbury will receive a hand-written thank you card in the morning.