I know, it's not easy to let it go....

The Acceptance.

I know, there are just some things that can never be accepted, like even if you'll be on your death bed but your heart would be afraid to accept something. It could be that your parents never understood you, people never understood your perspective, your people hurt you behind your back or "that person never loved you even if there's just that mutual thing called relationship"......okay I write it and I can feel the pain of it.......but anyways let's not mourn on this pain for now because I am too tired of getting sick. I love some people so much that I am ready to make them okay anyhow no matter what it takes, and one of these people is my big brother who taught me a really good thing which is "ACCEPTANCE". The day he taught me this, was the day that can never be forgotten.......it was 8am when he asked me to sit with him and talk and in the middle of that, out of nowhere, when he said that I know you're going through something but I wouldn't go into details but still just remember that you cannot change anything, you cannot make anything better now but all you could do is just accept it........and i remember how much I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't because what was I supposed to tell him ??? The things I have done to make it stay?, How I betrayed my people for it?, Or how I unsaw everyone because I wanted to be so focused on it??..........all I could say was "no there's nothing happened, I am okay". I don't know where he got to know about it but it was the moment where I was so upset, ashamed, and happy at the same time.  We fight, we argue but in the end he was the one who actually made me okay. It was like that this was the voice I wanted to hear to get better again. When I used to think that my person and my brother were exactly the same, I wasn't wrong but I wasn't completely right either maybe. He taught me the real meaning of acceptance. He taught me that no matter how much you love someone but always keep a wall between you so that you would know that there's just a wall that you cannot cross, you have to stay back.
All I want to say is that just accept that he never loved you honey, I have accepted it too........it does hurt but it is what it is girl. What if he never loved you, I do love you........and when I say that I love you, I mean it doesn't matter even if it's you or someone else..........so don't worry girl cause' ily. See ya :)