I know, it's not easy to let it go....

The Talk.

I know, you crave love, I crave love and we all crave love. I remember how my grandfather used to love me when he was alive. No one ever loved me in that beautiful way. It was out of selfishness, selflessness and what it gave me was the calmness after knowing that near him, I was safe. I remember how he protected me, how he never let anyone say anything bad to me and now I understand how wrong I was when I used to think that he is doing what I deserve, what is mine, it's nothing too much. But when I saw the change that has come after he had gone was the only realisation of me being totally wrong. It was the same love that I am giving to someone else and they are doing the same as I did with my grandfather (not valuing it). I used to feel bad or like crying for hours and hours that I am not getting treated right by my parents or family but when I saw the most precious love of mine turning into a life lesson, I lost that urge to get loved by anyone, even by my parents. I am not saying that they don't think about me. They do. But there's just so much more difference in thinking and loving. If I had to describe this thing in a sentence, I would say that "money, thinking for the child's future, spending money on their education is definitely not the love that children crave but giving your presence, making them able to speak with you without fear is definitely the love they need, they want". Just imagine there's just a moment when you talk with them more than you ever talked in your life till now but suddenly a moment comes when you realise that it has gone forever like THE TALK. There's not even you're saying hi or them saying hi to you. But you know what's more hurtful thing ? It's that you do care about this realisation and he's the one who is not even close to realising that now it's actually the situation defining "people can go from people you know to people you don't". I remember myself saying this to him jokingly. But look, it's getting true. The whole point of explaining this was that "there's one who is desperately wanting this to work out and there's just another one who doesn't even know that what you or me is talking about". This is a fact. But I am glad that I have made myself able to love some people the way my grandfather loved me. He taught me this really good thing that you can love someone from a million miles apart without expecting something in return and if it doesn't show the same efforts, It would affect you but you'll get through it. Maybe this is the chapter that I never told anyone about just because it still has some secrets but maybe it was just to define "what love is" and "how it affects".
But you don't worry honey, because I know there would be just someone in your life who would make you so happy that you'd forget all your worries. Just remember ily........see ya :)