Grace

13

The next morning, Grace was up at 4 and just couldn't seem to relax her body enough to sleep again. She was worried about the appointment and what could be wrong with our baby.

"Why are you up? It's only 4 Grace," Alex mumbled, waving up slightly to the sound of TikTok on her phone.

"Can't fall back asleep,"

"What time is the appointment?"

"8," She sighed, "I'm counting down the hours,"

"Whatever it is, if it's anything, I'm sure we can handle it," He said as she turned off her phone and laid on her side to face him, "Come on, let's go back to sleep for a little longer,"

"Mhm," She mumbled, trying to relax again but failing still. She just couldn't.

Every thought running through her head was the worst, and every thought just seemed to make her even more anxious. She wanted to go to the appointment but she also didn't. She wanted to know what was wrong, but she also didn't.

The alarm finally broke Alex out of his sleep at 6:30, leaving them enough time to get up, get dressed, grab everything they needed for the plane, and get to their appointment.

"Everything's gonna be fine," He promised, squeezing her hand as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road.

"I hope so. I won't be able to forgive myself if something's wrong. I already feel like I failed as a mother,"

"You didn't. Regardless of anything being wrong, that baby is going to have 2 loving parents and a whole load of aunts and uncles that also love them,"

"I guess so," She sighed, trying to keep the positive mindset that Alex had adopted already.

"I know so," He shrugged, "The guys were already asking if we knew the gender and asked how you were doing,"

"Do you want to find out?" She asked, looking at him as he drove.

"I don't know. Ask me when it gets closer to that time," He smiled a little, continuing to drive as they both sat in comfortable silence.

As soon as he pulled up to the doctor's office, they both looked at each other, gave a slight nod, and got out of the car, meeting at the front.

"Whatever happens in there, our baby is still our baby and none of that is going to change no matter what happens in there," Alex said as he hugged Grace tightly.

"You're right," she nodded, "I love you,"

"I love you too and baby,"

She smiled a little and kissed him before they headed in together, checked in, and sat once again in the ugly green chairs. They both held each other's hands tightly, waiting to be called.

"Grace?" The nurse said as she came out of the back, "Doctor Hannan is ready for you,"

She nodded and both went back, sitting in the office chairs, taking a deep breath in hopes to calm her nerves.

"It's gonna be fine," Alex reassured her again, squeezing her hand slightly.

"Hello," The older woman sang as she came into the office, "How are we doing?"

"Just really ready to know what is going on," Grace sighed, giving a slight smile as the doctor sat down.

"Alright then we'll get right to it," She said as she pulled up the notes, "Your baby has what we call a myelomeningocele, which is also known as spina bifida,"

"Okay," Grace whispered as she looked at the doctor to continue.

"So basically, the baby's spinal canal is open and a few of their vertebrae are exposed. The good thing is we caught it and now we can go on with the next step,"

"Which is?" Alex spoke up, looking at Grace as she was frozen.

"So before you hit 26 weeks, you can have the in-utero operation and we will be able to repair the baby's spinal cord. You will have to stay in the hospital for a while after and you will have to have a c-section at or before 37 weeks," She finished, "I know this is a lot to take in. So take tonight, sleep on the news and I'll give you guys a call in a few days to get scheduled. Take all the time you need in here. I know a lot of information was thrown at you,"

"Thank you," Alex nodded as she got up to leave them for a few minutes.

Grace was frozen. She knew something was wrong and now her fears were confirmed. Something was wrong with her baby.

"Grace. Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking,"

"Something is wrong with our baby. Something is actually wrong with our child, how am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to think?" She ranted, getting up and pacing the floor.

"Don't overthink this Grace. You didn't do anything wrong and this is going to get fixed, we can get you the surgery and that will help our baby live a full and happy life," He said as he stopped her from pacing even more.

"I just don't want to have anything wrong with my baby. I can't work after the surgery so I just sit there, what are we gonna do for bills?"

"Are you forgetting that we bring in money weekly and we have a nice chunk in the savings?" He asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

She just sighed and walked out of the office and straight to the car.

They were both quiet on the way home and both went their separate ways in the house. They both needed to process what they just heard and it was something that they needed to do on their own before dealing with it together.