Heeriye

Ten.

Shehnaaz

HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN STANDING THERE?

The answer is clearly "too fucking long."

He walks in and sits down on the edge of the new bed that I haven't broken in yet. For someone who's potentially just heard all my secrets, he looks pretty damn composed.

Maybe, by some miracle, he didn't hear the part where—

"Don't look so scared, Shehnaaz. I already knew."

Since I've given away enough already, I decide to make him say it. "Knew what?"

He smirks and crosses his leg in a figure-four. "I know you're pregnant. I know you're carrying Sidharth's baby."

That's it then. It's all over.

I drop the pretense. "Are you gonna tell him?"

Kanan strokes his chin. "I did try. But he's not real open to talking about you these days."

There's a lot to unpack in that sentence but I focus on the most troubling. "Y-you tried to tell him already?"

"Like I said, I already knew you were pregnant."

"How?"

"I pulled your medical files," he explains unapologetically. "The day you landed in the hospital with cuts all over your body."

"That's my private information!"

He shrugs. "I had to make sure you were alright."

"Why?" I demand. "Your boss has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't give a shit about me. So why would you?"

"Because, even though he's my boss, he's also my friend. And I know what he wants even when he won't admit it."

"Which is what?"

"He wants you to be safe, for starters."

My insides churn. I so want to believe that. But Sidharth's words are still burning in my ears. He was just a little too convincing last night.

"Kanan, you can't tell him. If he knows—

He holds up a hand to soothe me. "Breathe. I don't plan on telling him."

That brings me to a screeching halt. I genuinely thought it would take much more convincing than that. "You don't?"

"There's a lot going on right now. Maybe it's better not to drop this information bomb into the middle of it."

I nod, trembling. "Thank you."

"But I do think you should be the one to tell him—eventually."

My lips compress into a hard line. "No."

"He deserves to know."

"Does he?" I snap. "Because from where I'm standing, I'm not sure he deserves a fucking thing from me." kanan lofts his eyebrows and I loathe the judgment in that gesture. "I did not sell information to Ranjhit Joshi! I know that's what you both believe, but it's not true. I would never do that." His arched eyebrows settle down a fraction of an inch as I leap to my feet and start pacing around. "Bhavan is the one who started snooping around in my car. Which is where I hid the contract because I was so scared he'd stumble onto it if I kept it in my room. And since Ranjhit was snooping around in general... well, you can see how the two would cross paths eventually. That's how Ranjhit got his hands on the contract. Bhavan handed it right to him."

Kanan still doesn't say a word and that pisses me off. So I just keep talking. "Whatever you might believe, i do care about Sidharth. I would never have put that information out there. I wouldn't even dare to—"

"I believe you."

I stop short. "W-what?" He leans back and picks some imaginary lint off his pants. "As explanations go, yours makes sense."

I stare at him for a moment and then sigh. "Yeah, try telling your stubborn ass boss that." Kanan chuckles. "Telling him anything now is pointless. He's too inside his own head. Without proof—"

"Why does he even need proof?" I cry out. "Why can't he just take my freaking word for it?"

"Because that requires trust, Shehnaaz. He let you in. He let you in far past his own personal boundaries of comfort and now, he's trying to overcompensate for that by kicking you all the way the fuck out."

"Sounds like I'm not the only one who needs a therapist." Kanan shrugs. "That might be true of all of us."

I eye him warily, wondering just how much I can trust him. It's not as though I have much of a choice, though. Trustworthy allies aren't exactly forming a line at my door.

"Kanan, you heard most of that conversation, right?" He nods, so I add, "Well, then you understand why I have to leave—"

"Leaving is not an option. I understand things are heating up with Bhavan, but Sidharth and I can handle that."

I frown. "You can 'handle' that? Kanan, Bhavan's being interviewed by CNN. Morning shows and shit. The man's crying wolf about his missing children all over the news."

"Like I said, I'll handle it. You don't have to worry about Bhavan." He stands, straightens his cuffs, and walks over to me with a palm outstretched. "But for right now, it's important that you're not contactable."

I stare at the open palm he's offering me. "Are you asking for my hand? Because we really don't know each other that well."

He cracks a momentary smile. "Your phone, Shehnaaz." I back away from him in horror. "No."

"Do you really wanna deal with Bhavan right now? Or your parents? Or more reporters?"

"Fuck me," I mutter. "You really know how to make a compelling case, don't you?" Reluctantly, I deposit my phone in his hand.

"I'll get you a new phone and a new number. Also, I wanted to let you know that I'll be monitoring the security cameras inside the penthouse."

I look around. "There are security cameras inside here? That feels a bit invasive."

"They're not in any of the bedrooms or bathrooms. Just the common living spaces. Don't worry, Sidharth's in no danger of hearing that conversation you just had with your friend."

"Funnily enough, that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better."

That's not quite true, though. One thing is making me feel better: that maybe I'm not completely alone. I have the kids. I have Palak. Maybe I have
Kanan on my side, too.

"Kanan?" I blurt. "Why are you helping me?"

A shadow falls over his face so I can't quite read his expression. "It seems like you could use a little help," he says carefully.

"I know that's what you want me to believe, but I know Sidharth will always be your first priority."

He doesn't deny it. "Perhaps. But that baby in your belly is my second. You're carrying the future boss of the mafia. That means you are my priority, too."

I frown. I'm not sure how I feel about any of that but I can't afford to turn my nose up at a possible ally. Even if that alliance only lasts the duration of my pregnancy.

At this point, I'll take what I can get.