Heeriye

Eleven.

Shehnaaz

That evening, I get a thick brown envelope addressed to me from kanan. It contains my new phone, a slip of paper with several numbers on it, a restraining order against Bhavan, and the most important thing of all: official court documents granting me temporary physical and legal custody of all three children.

There's a handwritten note, too.I've spoken to a police officer that we work with closely. He can make the missing persons reports go away. We're gonna work on proving that Bhavan is an unfit guardian. Until then, you've got custody of the kids. –kanan.

I'm reading through the note for the fourth time when the kids tumble into the kitchen clamoring for dinner.

"Shehnaaz bua? You okay?" Jahan asks as he slows to a walk.

"Yeah, honey. Just got some good news."

"What is it? What is it?" Ruhi chirps as Jahan helps her up onto one of the high chairs around the island.
"Well, for right now, I have guardianship of you guys."

Ruhi wrinkles her nose up. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I get to look after you guys." She doesn't look impressed. "But that's what you do now."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I give Jahan a wink. "But now, it's officially official."

"I don't get it," Ruhi says with a shrug. "Chaya, do you get it?"

"Nuh-uh."

"See bua?No one gets it." Still giggling, I walk around to the stove where I've been shallow frying fish sticks for the kids. I spoon them on a flat plate and set it on the marble countertop. "Fish sticks!" Ruhi celebrates. "Yayyy!" Chaya nods in enthusiastic agreement. "I love this place."

I plop down beside Jahan. "Listen, guys, I know you like it here—but it's just temporary, okay? We can't stay forever."

"Why not?" Ruhi asks. "Sidharth won't mind."

Where did all that certainty come from? How did he manage to convince them in such a short time that he is so utterly devoted to them?

"Sidharth lives in Mumbai, honey," I say gently. "And we need to leave it."

"But why?"

"Because..." Breathe, Shehnaaz. You can do this."Because I think it's important that we make a fresh start somewhere new. Just the four of us."

Chaya and Ruhi exchange a confused glance. "But Shehnaaz bua, what about Daddy?" Chaya asks.

I swallow. "Guys, your daddy... He's going through something right now. He's not really able to take care of you guys."

Ruhi frowns. "Is that why he's so mad all the time?"

"That's part of it, yes."

Ruhi'a little rosebud mouth turns down. "So... we're not gonna see Daddy again?"

"I think probably not for a very long time, honey," I admit. The honesty hurts even me to say, but we've had enough lies around here. I won't raise them in the dark. They deserve to know as much as they're capable of handling. And if I know anything, it's that Shruti's kids are strong.

Both girls look contemplative, unsure how to process that information. Bhavan's always been around even if he wasn't present. Even if he wasn't always nice.

"I'm gonna draw Daddy a card," Ruhi pipes up abruptly. "A get well soon card. How's that Bua?"

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. "I think that's a great idea, Ruhi. What about you, chaya? You wanna make a card for Daddy?"

She shakes her head. "No. He wasn't always nice to Jahan. Or Ruhi. Or me. I don't wanna make him a card."

I pat her hand. "Don't worry; you don't have to."

"I'd rather make a card for the baby!" she adds.

I freeze. "W-what?"

Chaya transforms into a little bobblehead doll for a moment, bangs flapping on her forehead. "That's a great idea right? I'm gonna do it."

"Um, chaya, sweetheart... what baby are you talking about?"

"Your baby, silly!"

Just when the situation feels like it's halfway under control,this happens. Aaand I'm back to square one.

Panic.

Fear.

Nerves.

"Yeah, that's what the nurse in the hospital said," Chaya babbles. She's beaming from ear to ear. "Jahan said we shouldn't say anything until..." She trails off when she realizes her big brother is glaring at her. "Oops!" She slaps her hands over her mouth. "I wasn't supposed to say anything until you told us. Jahan said."

I glance at Jahan. "We heard the nurses talking," he admits quietly. "I wasn't sure if it was real or not. Are you having a baby?"

Forget what I just said about raising them with honesty—lying would be so much easier now. Of course, the moment my belly starts to pop, I'll have some serious explaining to do.

They need to know they can trust you. Especially now.

"I am going to have a baby."

Jahan's eyes go wide and the girls start whooping instantly. "I want a girl! I want a girl!" Chaya sing-songs.

"No!" Ruhi snaps adamantly. "A boy!"

"Guys,listen." It takes a while before the girls calm down. "Shehnaaz bua isn't gonna have this baby for a really long time, okay? So I think it's better, for right now, to keep it our little secret."

The girls agree easily enough but Jahan looks at me almost... accusingly? Almost... angrily?

No—I'm reading too much into it.

He's just processing.

I hope.