Three \\ Bereavement

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“I clearly said ‘I got it.’ Everyone heard me say ‘I got it’!” Raph yells, and Leo rolls his eyes, turning around and walking towards his bedroom. He just wanted his bed right now, to fall into the endless black abyss of his mind for a few hours.

“Yeah, but I got it with style.” He sneers.

Raph lets out an exasperated sigh, trying to stay calm. Tanya places a wary hand on his arm. Trying to help him calm down.

“But you didn’t get it!” He yells. It had been a while since Raph had been this angry. “You lost it, and now we’ve got a foot clan situation!”
Leo tosses his Katana off to the side and flops down on his bed, a repurposed subway car. Picking up a Jupiter Jim comic from somewhere and starting to read, trying to block out his brother's persistent voice.

“What’s it gonna take for you to be serious, Leo? To be a leader?”

Leo lets out a dry chuckle.

“And end up with a worry line? No, no, I’m good without a Raph chasm thank you.”

Raph pauses, concerned, a little frightened. They’d all done what they had to in order to fill your shoes. Raph had decidedly started to take care of his brothers like they were toddlers in need of someone to watch over them constantly.

“Chasm?”

Leo lets out a coy smile, standing up with his comic. He wishes he could shut-up, wishes his mouth would just close. But it refuses and his voice speaks again before he could tell it to stop.

“You know, valley? Gorge? Crevasse?”

His grin falters when he looks away from Raph, pretending to read the comic before him while he leans against one of the old metal bars in his room. Raph lets out a defeated sigh.

“The only reason I have a chasm is because I have to look over you bozos twenty-four seven. I’m the oldest here. I’m responsible for keeping us safe, and making sure we can handle anything that comes our way. Because if I don’t? You could all end up dead.”

“I’m sorry.” Leo says, malice dripping from his voice. “Who’s fault is it that Y/n isn’t here to take that burden from you?”

Suddenly, Raph’s mystic figure punches a hole through the side of Leo’s room, and he grins. Finally, a fight.

“No wonder you always want to train!” Leo shouts, a concentrated and taunting grin on his lips as he squares up to fight his blood. “You really need the practice!”

Raph growls as Mikey stands between the two of them, Tanya trying to hold Raph back as Donnie attempts to pull him away from Leo.

“Raph. Please-” Tanya begs. This wasn’t him. This had never been him.

“Get out of the way, Tan.” Leo sneers, giving a smirk to his older brother, who continues to approach his younger brother despite his girlfriend being firmly planted in the chaos.

“Boys! Stop this arguing!” Splinter yells, descending into the space from the stairs. Looking between his sons.

“But Dad, Leo keeps-”

“Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh, no more. You are a team. You are brothers. But most importantly…” He turns around to face his sons. “You are too loud!”

A scowl forms on Tanya’s face, Mikey’s face reacting similarly. He, in order to attempt to fill your shoes, had taken to acting as the glue of his family again. He knew it wasn’t his job, he knew he shouldn’t need to. But everything tried to tear them all apart. Leo and Raph kept trying to tear them further apart, and no one was doing anything about it.

“I cannot hear my TV show! Tristan finally proposed to Annabelle! But did she say yes? I don’t know because you are too loud!”

He wheels on his sons, glaring at them all.

“Be the ninjas I taught you to be. Respectful.” He glares at his boys again before walking back up the stairs. “And Quiet!”

Tanya lets out a berating huff as she leads Mikey and Donnie away, turning around only to glare at the two still standing in the space. They both were acting like children. She didn’t care if they were hurt by your actions, if they had the biggest shoes to fill. Whatever their excuse was it didn’t make up for this.

You may have hurt them, but you did what you thought was best. There was no reason to perpetuate the pain you’d caused in their best interests.

Now, the five sit with more problems than before, Tanya only wished you were there. You’d have answers, and have ways to solve these struggles. You always did.

“Where are you, Y/n?” She mumbles softly as she exits the lair to take to the rooftops nearby. She couldn’t be cooped up in those sewers now, she needed a change of scenery. She needed a breath of fresh air.

She needed to not be the only one who understood why you did what you had done, because she’d gotten the call too. She’d gotten it and ignored it, and because of that? You were the one the boys hated. The one the boys couldn’t bear to speak of. They only used your name as a curse now.

She places her head in her hands, perched on the side of a building. Where are you Y/n?

Where are you?


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