calling or screaming

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tw talk of death and drowning 


y/n pov

my phone started ringing and i looked at the contact to see the twins mum was calling me again i let it ring out on silent before putting my phone away and leaning back into my chair. i was thankful i was at the end of the table so no one could really see me.

"who was that?" lizzie asked tilting her head. 

"susan" i breathed out not making eye contact with her and staring at the menu. lizzie seemed to understand i didnt want to talk about it so she let it go and several servers came to collect all our orders. 

after lunch we all got up and started heading to timezone where we were doing the bowling. my phone started buzzing again so i pulled it out and jamie was calling me. since we had just arrived i told everyone id catch up as i had to take this. 

lizzie offered to stay outside with me and i agreed cause it would be weird if i told her to leave. she would think i was hiding something. which i am but. 

"bro i know your awake, please mum just wants to ask how you are" she said and i sat down on the stairs outside the building. i heard talking in the background. 

"did she pick up?" i think susan asked. 

"yeah here" jamie must've handed her phone to her mother. 

"why are you declining my calls missy" she said in a playful manner to try and ease the tension of the topic. 

"cause then i have to accept that tomorrow is tomorrow" i said quietly. 

"yes hun, unfortunately the world keeps turning but it will be okay. have you told elizabeth about tomorrow because knowing you from past years you wont sleep tonight, or eat tomorrow and you wont talk to anyone. shes bound to become suspicious. im not going to force you to tell her or tell her myself but i really think you should. talking about it helps yknow" she must be upstairs as it was almost dead quiet on her end. 

"i was just going to lock myself in my room" i admitted. "ill tell her tonight, were on a day out right now and i dont want to ruin the mood" 

"okay im proud of you sweetie, remember this is not your fault. you were little, we were in a remote area, no one blames you" she reassured me. 

"my parents did" i grumbled quietly and i heard susan suck in a breath. 

"about that, some of your parents friends have planned a funeral but couldn't get a hold of you. ill send you the details incase you wanted to go" i thanked her and ended the call quite abruptly. 

i shoved my face into my hands and tried to keep my breathing under control. would i be that bad of a daughter if i didnt go to their funeral. 

"y/n?" i heard lizzie question beside me. she sounded concerned. i stood up putting on a fake expression and smiled at my mum. 

"lets go inside" i dismissed the millions of questions i could see she had. i took a step closer to the entrance but she grabbed my arm pulling me in for a hug. i buried my face in her chest and wrapped my arms around her waist. 

the hug was all it took to make me start crying.

"shh your okay sweetheart, i got you" she whispered sweet nothings in my ear holding me tightly.

"hey you guys comin-" downeys wife opened the door again and saw us standing there. she nodded and went back inside. 

i pulled away from the hug and lizzie moved her hands to my face. "whats wrong baby, whats tomorrow?" she questioned softly. 

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