Dear Reader- Taylor Swift

Part 5

Taylor's POV

"Did you have to be so rude to the poor girl?" Cara huffed as I took a seat around the table, still looking down at my phone as I messaged Tree. She didn't want me to do the soundtrack for this movie, but I was adamant.

Not only does it give me a chance to work with two of my closest friends, but I love the book. It was too good to pass up this chance to work with them all. I really don't know why Tree is so against this project. She would typically be all over a project that holds this much potential. Yet she was adamant that I don't work with Harley James in any capacity. Which, clearly, I ignored. I am dying to meet Harley. She has this way with words that has me itching to dissect her brain and learn just how she thinks.

I mean, I had tried my best to meet Harley at her book launch a few months ago, but after bumping into Belle, I forgot all about her, favouring chasing after Belle instead.

I would give up everything just to have Belle back in my life.

Belle.

I had no idea she was going to be here. She seems to be everywhere these days, and I feel like it's a sign for me to fix things. I mean, it's ridiculous. I have spent years looking for her, and I have spent more on private investigators than I thought was possible just to find a shred of proof she was ever real. And here she is, popping up in my life for the second time in a few months.

It's got to be a sign.

That I still have a chance.

That I can fix this.

That we can be together again.

And most importantly, I can learn everything about her.

She just won't let me. I don't get why not. Sure, back then, we were messy, but it wasn't all that bad. I just don't understand why she hates me so much.

Okay. That is a lie. She hates me because I fucked everything up. I abused her love for me and neglected her feelings. It was awful. I let everything I was going through consume me, and in turn, I used Belle. I used her. I used the person I love the most in this world. And then she left me.

I deserved for her to leave me.

We were together for eleven months, and the entire time, I treated her like she was less than me. I never even learnt her name, for fuck sake. I never learnt if she likes cheesecake or Greek or Italian. I never learnt about her family life or how she became the incredible person she was. I never learnt her hopes and dreams, what she wanted to do with her life, who she wanted to be. I never learnt what she does when she's sad or what makes her cry. I never learnt her fucking name.

God, I was awful. I am awful.

After all this time, I see her again, and I act like a total bitch and send her to get me a fucking juice. I'm not even on a cleanse, for fuck sake. What was I thinking? Clearly, I wasn't.

It's just I was arguing with Tree, and then she was there, and all I could think about was the fact she had been hiding from me for six fucking years, and I treated her like scum. God, I'm such a fuck up. I'm never going to get her back unless I get my shit together.

I need to prove that I am worthy of her, and sending her to get me green juice like some stuck-up dickhead is definitely not the right way to do that.

It's just when I saw her, I was expecting her to yell. To scream at me to leave her alone. But she didn't do any of that. She acted like I was no one to her. Like a stranger, she was walking past on her way to work, and it broke my heart.

What happened to the Belle from a few months ago? The one who yelled at me in the restroom before storming off? She at least cared enough about me to scream and shout at me. Her getting so angry at me proved she still felt something for me, even if it was clearly hate.