Chapter 11

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Ravi was unaffected by the cool air. "I'm so sorry Sal. So sorry." Sobs broke free as Ravi cried into his hands. "It was never your fault Ravi."  "Sal! Sal, come back please! I-I need you! Please-e!"  

"Ravi!?" Ravi heard Pip's voice. "Ravi?! What the fuck was that? You left me a-" He cried harder into his hands. He didn't deserve Pip. 

"Ravi?" He heard the concern in Pip's voice and felt her arms wrap around him, anchoring them. His arms wrapped around Pip's, pushing all his weight onto her. 

They stayed like that for a while, in each-others arm. He felt Pip's hand right over his heart and her light kisses on his head. "Ravi? Talk to me." 

"I'm so-o- so s-sorry, P-pip. I'm s-so sorry." 

"Why Ravi?"

"I couldn't protect you Pip. I couldn't." His hands tightened around Pip's waist as the words left his mouth. "I couldn't save you. I couldn't save you from the DT. You almost died Pip and I-I couldn't do anything! I-I couldn't protect you from any of it. I'm to blame here, Pip. I-It's my fault, Pip. It's my fault you almost died. It's my fault that you are struggling. I-I'm so sorry, Pip." He cries into Pip's shirt, holding on. 

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The sobs were back. The ones that followed Pip around like the six gunshots.

She sat there, Ravi crying in her arms just the same as he did all those years ago in this very forest. The same forest Sal was found. The same forest Barney was. The night she left. Memories flooded her mind of the night she shattered into pieces.

She relived that night many times before. In the dark of night, alone in her dorm room. The days where her mind wouldn't shut off.

None of this had been Ravi's fault. It was her foolishness, obsessiveness and naivety that resulted in the destruction of her life. The death of Barney. The murder of Stanley. Ravi

She ruined the lives. Cara's. Becca's. All because she couldn't stop. And in the end she ruined her life too.

The PTSD never did stopped. And thought she stopped using Xanax, she had fallen into different coping mechanisms, ones that if Ravi knew of he would be hurt far more. So she kept it a secret. 

Pip's voice cracked as she started speaking, "None of this is your fault, Ravi." She pressed her lips against his forehead. Hoping that he could feel her presence. Hoping it would help.

"Ravi, look at me." She brought her knuckle to his chin, tilting his head upwards, "None of this was ever your fault. If anything I should be apologizing to you, Ravi. I dragged you through all of my mess. Every action I have made has directly affected you. I murdered a man, Ravi and-" Tears fell from her eyes, "and- you helped m-me. You helped me cover it up. You dragged your name through the dirt. You took the blame for the headphones. J-just because you wanted me safe, Ravi. You've protected me in every way possible, Ravi. You were right beside me through it all, Ravi. Thr-through the g-good and through the b-bad. Whether you were right beside me or miles away, Ravi Singh, my beloved man, you-you have protected me in every possible way and I-I love you for that. I always will." She cried into Ravi's hair, holding onto her lifeline. "Thank you so much, Ravi." 

They stayed like for a while, crying for the past in each others arms. For Sal, Andie, Barney and Stanley. For their past. And for each other. 

"Pip." Pip hummed into Ravi's hair. "You're getting cold. Let's go inside." 

A/N -

606 wordsss!!! WTFFFFF!!! Big ass chapterrrrr!!!! Prolly one of my favourite chapters I've written so far! Hope you enjoy it luvssss!! ❤️

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