Fractured • Choi Yeonjun

Chapter38

Comfort~

Later that night I lay in bed feeling so many different emotions, some not even mine.

I could feel Taehyun's growing frustration. I had no idea what he was up to, or if he was getting tired of feeling my endless mix of emotions.

I reach for my phone about to text him and see if I was the reason behind his frustration or not. I paused as I had typed out most of the message, I didn't know if I should send it or not... I was worried he would just get more frustrated with me, or if it was me... I would feel even worse, only making it worse.

I lock my phone and set it down by my head as I close my eyes tightly. I push all the emotions down and tell myself there was no reason for most of them. The guys weren't upset with me for what they had to go through, so there was no reason to feel guilty. I felt sad because I was causing more trouble, especially to Taehyun with the bond between us.

I just needed to brush all my old feelings off and focus on the road ahead. I just needed to feel the good emotions and let them consume my mind. That would help ease Taehyun's frustration if it was coming from me.

I was home and alive. I had a strong bond with someone I would easily call my best friend. Yeonjun was being so sweet and helpful, there have been no hints of his old attitude popping up. The others were their usual selves, helpful and cheerful.

I take a deep breath in and keep my eyes closed tight, begging sleep to come and take me away for a few hours so I could not worry so much.

My phone dinged just as I was about to finally drift off.

I roll over and grab my phone, the brightness of the screen burning my eyes. I lower the brightness and then look at who messaged me.

*Taehyun~

Are you up?

I responded letting him know I was indeed up.

A few moments later I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I call out as I force my still slightly stiff body up into a sitting position.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you..." Taehyun said as he closed the door, cutting the light from the hallway off.

I reach over and turn my lamp on so I can see him better.

"You okay?" I ask as he takes a seat by my feet.

"I.. I was just worried you may think my emotions were making you feel bad because I was feeling yours." He looks up at me with a soft smile, his brown eyes glowing from the lamp light that was hitting them. "My frustration wasn't because of your emotions, I was just looking through my mother's grammaire again" He added with a sigh.

"Oh... okay. I was a little worried it was because of me..." I offer him a small smile as I try and hold down the guilt once more.

"Don't suppress your emotions because you're worried about me, not this soon. We will figure out how to keep them blocked from one another without having to fight all our emotions." Taehyun said as he laid a hand on my blanket-covered knee. "That would not be healthy if we have to block every emotion we feel for fear of causing issues for the other... unless you're tired of feeling mine?"

I shake my head. "No, no. Not at all!" I say as I keep shaking my head.

"Calm down, I was just making sure." He said with a laugh, his hand patting my knee a few times.

"I'm sorry I haven't found anything to help us figure something out about this bond yet." Taehyun looked away as I felt a different level of guilt and sadness wash over me.

I knew they were his emotions.

"Hey, we will learn on our own if we have to. At least nothing bad ha- I'll stop there." I end with a sheepish laugh.

"Please do." He replied with a laugh as well.

We sit there for a few moments in a comfortable silence before he speaks up again.

"How are your feelings towards Yeonjun? I felt the panic earlier... I feel your happiness as well... Is the bond between you both really fully gone?"

I nod as I sigh. "I still feel very strongly towards him, I just feel some panic when he pops up because of what happened. I know it'll ease up soon." I say with a slight smile. I felt bad that I still felt panic when I knew Yeonjun had never actually done the things that were done to me. He has been nothing but sweet since I woke up, and I saw what he had all done for me while I was dead.

"You can't help what was being done to you for months, Evelyn. I'm sure Yeonjun understands as well."

"I really hope so."

Taehyun stands up and walks to the other side of my bed. I eye him as he pulls the blankets back and then meets my confused gaze.

"Is it okay if I sit with you for a bit?" He asked as he stood there with the blanket still in hand.

"Yeah," I reply lightly. I felt my nerves grow just a little seeing as me and Taehyun had never sat like this in bed before.

"I just know all night you've been feeling so much guilt and sadness... I want to hold you a bit and see if it helps. As a friend!" He added the last part seeming a little panicked.

I can't help but laugh at how wide his eyes were as if you thought I would have taken his words the wrong way. "I didn't take it the wrong way Tae."

He sent me a bright smile as he scooted until our shoulders bumped. He pulled the blanket back up and covered his legs. He then placed his arm behind my head and pulled me a little roughly into his side.

"Ow," I comment as my face squished into his ribs right below his armpit. He laughed loudly as he helped me scoot down a little so I could rest my head in the crook between his arm and chest. "You're so lucky you don't stink." 

I closed my eyes and took in his scent, his body warmth and smell of many different herbs helping calm my nerves a lot.

"You smell like magic," I comment as I keep my eyes closed.

"What?" He said with a weird chuckle.

"I don't know, it's like herbs and... I don't know, magic?"

"It may be because of your body mending with your soul. Part of your immortal powers is picking up others scents more easily, and their scent is usually linked slightly to what they are. The 'magic' you say must be linking me to me having you know, actual magic in me."

"That's kinda cool. Makes me like a hound dog."

We both laugh at my silly comment for a few moments.

"Thank you for coming to see me," I say as I open my eyes and look up into his. "As you know my emotions have been eating away at me."

His smile made his eyes light up, and I didn't feel the same stir in my stomach as I would feel with Yeonjun. Instead, I felt more comfort wash over me. Taehyun felt like a person I never knew I was missing from my life. I couldn't say exactly what person. I couldn't put a label like brother, best friend, or anything like that. Those labels did not come anywhere close to how much comfort I felt with Taehyun now.

It's like my soul is really whole.

Was that it? Shouldn't that be what Yeonjun made me feel?

He did, but in a more intimate way than Taehyun.

The love I felt for Yeonjun and Taehyun was completely different. I loved all the members of the group in their own way. I always have from the start, the only changes were. Yeonjun wasn't a dick for the moment. Taehyun just brought me more comfort than before.

~~

I'm trying so hard to write stuff between these two without it being to intimate yk? I feel like I'm failing ugh!

I would appreciate a little feed back on their moment if you wouldn't mind. 

Hope you all have a great day/night!<3