Get On My Level→ Bada Lee

𝘪𝘪𝘪

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-8 years ago-

"Alright!" the dance coach loudly said, clapping her hands. "That's it for today's class. Get your things and get home safe. I'll see you next class." coach said before turning to me.

"Ari sweetie, can you stay for a moment? I need to talk to you." the coach asked.

"Uhm, sure. Just let me get my stuff real quick." I replied, pointing with my thumb behind me to where my bag was.

The coach nodded in response and I want to pack my things, a million thoughts rushing through my head. What does she want to talk about?

As I zipped up my bag I heard loud laughter emitting from the hallway. Through the glass door I saw Bada and her friends walking away together, happily laughing and talking together about who knows what.

I got up and put the bag on my shoulder, still looking at the group that was walking away. Why was she so perfect? Why cant I be like her?

I deeply exhaled before turning to head towards our coach.

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about, coach?" I approached her, one hand on my bag strap and the other in my pocket.

The coach sighed before looking at me, a mix of pity and disappointment in her eyes. I got worried.

"Ari... how do I say this?" the coach asked herself and placed her hands on her hips. She looked around before then at me again.

"You arent improving Ari, you've been stuck on the same level for quite some time now... is everything alright?" she asked.

 I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. I didn't know how to respond, this felt kike a slap to the face to me.

"Ari I'm genuinely disappointed, you were once my best student and then everything just- paused."

She stopped for a moment. As I opened my mouth to say something, she continued, making me clench the strap of my bag.

She lets out another deep sigh. "Pull yourself together Ari. If I don't see some progress fact then you won't be able to join the new crew we've been forming."

"But I-" I started before she cut me off, again.

"I know how much you want to join this crew, so I suggest practicing outside of the studio." 

But I already do.

She continued shortly after. "How about... you talk with Bada? You saw how fast she's been progressing and maybe she could help you out."

I just stood there, frozen, my feet glued to the floor. All I managed to utter out was a pathetic "Alright" I felt that tingle in my eyes like I was about to cry.

She smiled at me and placed a hand on my shoulder "Good, glad to hear that. Now get home safe and I'll see you Friday. Bye-bye Ari." she said and gave me a simple and short wave.

I nodded at her words, forcing a weak smile out of politeness. I waved back before I walked out of the studio, speedwalking down the hallway.

Before I knew it I was out of the building. I abruptly stopped in my tracks as I realized it was raining.

shit.

I put my bag over my head and jogged to the bus station since it was a bit further away. As I jogged I thought about everything, my 'slow' progress, bada, coach's words.

Soon my arms started hurting from holding the bag over my head and I got out of breath. I started to walk slowly as I put the bag on my shoulders, not carrying that I was getting soaked by the rain.

While deep in thought, someone approached me offering to share their umbrella.

"Hey Ari, let's share my umbrella. I don't want you getting sick." they offered once they saw me, it looked like we were going in the same direction.

I looked up to see Bada next to me, holding her umbrella over our heads. She was honestly the last person I wanted to talk to right now, but I accepted the offer nonetheless.

We walked in silence as the rain poured, I was immersed in the loud sound of raindrops getting the umbrella.

Quickly enough, we got to the bus station and we sat down.

"What did coach want to talk to you about?" she paused for a moment  "If you don't mind me asking?"

"It's none of your business" I harshly replied to the sweet and caring voice of hers.

She was clearly taken aback by that, but like I could care any less.

"Was it something bad? I could help y-"

"I don't need, or want, your help." I said, raising my voice a little, watching the rain hit the road.

"Alright, alright. I'll stop asking."

"You shouldn't have asked at all." I muttered to myself.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it soon after, deciding against saying whatever she had in mind.

And so we didn't say a single word to each other after that and just waited for our buses, accompanied by the beautiful sound of rain.

Soon enough, my bus arrived first. I got in not saying goodbye to her, or even sparing her a glance.

Ever since there was always tension between us, thick and unpleasant tension.

I've been overworking myself since that day. Staying after classes for hours in the studio. Practicing in the living room when I would be home alone. Just to be better, better than her.

And like that, a year flew by and I didn't surpass her in the slightest. It felt like hell.

I did manage to be apart of the crew 'Cupcakes' but at what cost. As much as I wanted to be in it, I didn't think I deserved it.

Me and Bada often argued, as others just watched. And it was mostly because she pointed out my mistakes in practice or rehearsal. And she was always passive-aggressive about it.

She definitely got more bossy, as she was one of the founders while I was 'just' one of the dancers.

Sometimes I would start fights because I just felt like it since I couldn't criticize her, there was nothing to criticize about her and it drove me nuts.

And so, another two years went by. 

Our crew disbanded, and we all went our separate ways after. Me and Bada haven't spoken to each other since, full 5 years have passed.

I moved to Seoul, lived independently, joined a new studio, and then a new crew. And I also improved rapidly in my dance skills. I was thriving.

But I still ask myself from time to time.

What if I wasn't blinded by jealousy and hatred? What if I listened to the coach's advice? Would I be here where I am right now if I did? Or somewhere better? Somewhere worse?

What if I accepted Bada's help?

I asked myself those questions, at least once a month. But I guess I will never find out.

But more importantly, what will happen from here on out?

(an: I wrote this last night at like midnight in my notes app lmao. and I actually liked how it turned out.

didn't proofread this so I apologize if there are mistakes.)