𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 || baxter radic (discontinued)

1.

𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗

When I got the call from my agent saying I had an audition to be on Surviving Summer I didn't exactly believe her. I mean of all people, why was I one of the people to be picked? I didn't look like a surfer girl, nor did I have the appeal of one either

Despite my questioning of the role choice, I went to the audition anyway. I really didn't have anything to lose. A denied role wouldn't force any blow to my ego. That's the way this industry worked. Sometimes you fit, sometimes you don't. It's what I signed up for—well, what my parents signed me up for years ago.

Every audition I do is just more knowledge and experience I get. There wasn't a downside to doing them. What I didn't expect from this one though, was to get the part before I walked out of the building.

I left the audition and went straight home to watch, and rewatch the first two seasons. I needed to envision myself in their world. Until this part was over, I had to live and breathe what it meant to be a beach girl.

"Stell, can you stop for two seconds?" My best friend groans in agony like I've just shoved a dagger through her chest.

We had met on my first acting gig years ago. We had become best friends immediately. It was her only gig, her mom hated the experience and forced her into never doing another. But we stayed best friends.

Her parents traveled the world, leaving her with my family most the time. We grew up together and honestly, unless I was on set, she way by my side. The only issue was—with this gig—she wasn't coming with me. Which meant my parents weren't coming with me. And I was about to go on this adventure all by myself.

"I just don't understand what my agent was thinking." I throw clothes into a suitcase with no rhyme or reason. They aren't folded or in any order. Wherever they land is where they will stay when I attempt to zip the suitcase closed.

"You could have not gone. You made the decision to show up. You got the part. Deal with it. You're going to another country, enjoy yourself." My best friend nudges my shoulder.

She has always been the more positive one out of the two of us. I mean don't get me wrong, I thought I was great at what I did. I just so happened to be extremely stubborn and stuck in my ways. She on the other hand, free floated through the world.

The time has flown, it feels like just yesterday I got the part. Now I'm heading over to start the process. Meeting the cast, getting to know them. I hoped I wouldn't mess up the dynamic, I hoped I'd get along with all of them, but that wasn't a guarantee. They had already built a family. I was coming in like fresh blood. It didn't fare well for me.

I'm exhausted when I land. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for one hundred days, but that's not on the docket. Instead it's go here and go there. Meet this person and that one. My schedule was packed from the moment I landed and I wasn't particularly prepared.

I barely have enough time to shower and steam my wrinkly clothes before I'm off to meet my love interest. The person I was going to have to put all my emotion into while filming. I wasn't particularly excited, but there wasn't another option. I couldn't cancel plans. It would put a sour taste in his mouth. We had to be convincing. If things started off on the wrong foot, there's no doubt that the onscreen chemistry would falter.

I braid my hair back and dot on a light layer of makeup before rushing out the door to make it to lunch. When I arrive—giving the hostess my name—I'm brought to a table where a pink-haired boy is waiting for me. "Nice to meet you, I'm Josh." He greets me, pulling me in for a hug.

I force myself out of the hug as quickly as humanly possible. I liked my personal space. Touching being at the very top of the list of things I hated it. I knew that I had to get used to it, this was just a bit too soon.

"Stella." I sit down, tucking my dress in neatly as I pull my chair into the table.

"How was your flight?" Horrible.

"Very long, but thankfully I was able to sleep most of the time." The thing I've always been good at steps in. Not only do I act in front of a camera, but the job slips into real life. I was very good at painting fake emotions onto my face. It's how I got through life. If I hated you, you'd never know.

"I'm surprised they didn't fly you out with Sky so you could get to know her. You two could have gotten in some bonding time." Josh shoots me a smile, and I have to admit it's a nice smile. I would really just rather be anywhere but here right now.

I shrug. Thankfully just as I'm about to respond some lame response, the waitress arrives to take our drink order—which swiftly gets brought to us and our food order is taken.

"I see from your socials that you all are close. How easy was it for you starting in season two?" I ask questions I care about. I don't need to get to know him. I need to know how easy this is going to be for me to slide into place.

"Easy, they made it feel like I've been here from the beginning." There he goes again with that smile.

The small talk drags. Nothing interesting comes from it. There is no reason to bore with the details. Maybe I was so grumpy because I was exhausted from the travel, but this lunch didn't make me feel any more relaxed about having to convince the world that I loved this man. Because if anything he irked me more than anything.

But I couldn't escape him. Apparently, he was given the task of showing me around. I thought a PA would do that. But I guess character building was extremely important. It made sense when watching the show. I just didn't know it was going to be forced upon me.

It's weeks of the same thing. Wake up. Bond with the cast. Eat, live, and breathe everything that has to do with Surviving Summer. I don't have a second to breathe. I haven't talked my family since I've arrived and it's safe to say I miss home. I've never gotten home sick on a job before, but it was definitely hitting me halfway around the world.

It's the day before we start filming so I decide to call my family after having a long day already. The phone rings and rings without answer, until I'm about to hang up. "Stella!" My best friends voice radiates through the phone.

"How are you that awake?" I drop onto my bed, completely no energy left in me.

"You sound miserable. Is it that bad?" Was it that obvious?

"We start filming tomorrow and I've never felt less apart of something ever." I run my fingers through my hair. At this point, I have no idea how I haven't ripped all my hair out.

"You've been in your head since you got the part. Let go and have fun. I love you Stell, you got this. You should get as much rest as possible." Her voice wreaks of happiness; it makes me want to strangle myself. No one should ever be that happy.

"Yeah. Love you." I hang up before pulling my pillow over my head and letting out the loudest scream of my life. If I were in an apartment, there was no doubt I would have woke my neighbors. Thankfully, it wasn't an apartment, and neighbors were far enough to save me from complaints.