𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 || baxter radic (discontinued)

16.

𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗

Going home has been something I've been dreading all summer. Nothing about leaving sounded ideal, but I had an amazing summer with Bax. I couldn't let those good memories fade. I didn't want this all to end when I stepped on the plane to go home. But I've noticed Bax becoming more distant. He's spending more time with the people not leaving, letting me suffer in misery on my own.

"Hey..." my voice trails as I walk over to him, slipping my arms underneath his to rest them on his lower back.

"Why so blue?" He tucks his finger under my chin to get me to look up at at him. I lean back just slightly to give him what he desires.

"I don't want to leave. And I feel like you've been pulling away and that scares me." My lip starts to tremble and I hate myself for being on the verge of tears over this. I knew it was coming, but I guess my heart still didn't prepare itself.

"It's not you. I've just been busy." His voice is cold. He doesn't even react to my quivering lip. I feel like I don't even know the kid standing before me. Tears are falling before I even have a chance to stop them.

"Yeah..." I step away, wiping the tears from my eyes. He clearly wasn't going to do it. He was checked out and there was no sign of him checking back in any time soon. This was the end of us wasn't it?

I walk away feeling so unwanted and not cared for. A part of me hopes that he will follow, but he doesn't. He stands there watching me walk away not caring about how much he's hurting me. I knew I was going to be set for trouble when I met him. I should have never agreed to help Summer. I only set myself up for failure.

"Cove wait up!" I hear being called out behind me, but I don't stop. My feet keep trekking away. To where? I have no idea, but they'll stop eventually.

"Come on Cove it's me." Summer's voice is clearer now but I still don't stop. I don't until she yanks me back to look at her.

"I'm gonna kill him." She nearly storms off but I grip her wrist before she can. He wasn't worth going to jail for. He wasn't worth my tears either, yet here we are.

"You told me not to actually fall for him. It's my own fault. He didn't break up with me but might as well call it done Summer. I leave tomorrow there's no point in trying to patch up something that will only fade when I get on a plane." I shake my head.

"Still doesn't give him the right to make you cry." Summer nearly yells at me like I've done something wrong. I just didn't want her wasting her breath. It wasn't worth hurting their friendship for me. I'd be a distant memory soon enough.

"It is what it is." I shrug. "Go hang out with them I really just want to be alone. It will make it easier to say goodbye at the airport tomorrow. The more I distance myself from everyone now, the better off I'll be" I turn and walk away leaving Summer standing there on her own.

I'm standing outside what's been my house for the past few months, ready to say my goodbyes when Bax appears, thirty minutes late. My smile to my friends drops and by the look on his face I already know what's coming. "Excuse me guys." I step away, making my way over to Bax.

"It was a good run huh?" I fight the shattering feeling in my chest. I try and fake a smile, but only a straight lined one appears on my face.

He wraps his arms around me, resting his weight upon me like somehow it's hurting him too. But it just isn't, he's been closed off far too long for this to be affecting him. "Breaking up with me before I can do it to you huh?" His voice is soft, the coldness that has lingered for days has vanished.

"You've made it clear that we're done when I step on that plane Bax." I hold him tightly back, mumbling my words into his chest. I'll take what I can get because I know it all ends here.

"At least we tried." He kisses the side of my head as his words finish. He doesn't let go. He holds on, savoring every second he has left. He could have had more time. He could have enjoyed our final moments. But he ruined all of that.

"Did we though?" I look up at him. And he doesn't respond. "I should get going Bax. If I don't go, I'll miss my fight."

"Can I..." his voice trails off as he retracts his words. I stand up on my tippy toes and place a gentle kiss to his cheek. I knew what he wanted to ask for, and it's more than this. But I'm not willing to put my heart on the line for more. It was already having trouble staying afloat.

"You may have gone about this all wrong, but at least I can brag that I got a great summer with someone pretty special. Good luck out there Bax." I turn and walk away before I can see him crumble, or before I crumble myself.

As much as I wanted to be upset at him, I couldn't be. Not now. It was a long shot. We were shooting for unreachable stars thinking that we could make this work on opposite sides of the world. Timing was everything and unfortunately, the timing of us wasn't on our side. He would always be important to me, but some chapters' end before they're supposed to. Ours ended too soon, but maybe it was all for a reason.