The Story of Alice Jones

Chapter 11-The Attempt

*MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING*

*IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SELF HARM, BLOOD, GORE, ANYTHING LIKE THAT PLEASE STOP HERE*

When me and Belch returned from the cemetery the others had returned back to the safe house. Vic had gotten groceries while Henry and Patrick had gotten alcohol from an unknown source. They had started to put everything where it rightfully should go.

"And where were you two?" Patrick said in a sassy tone and put his hand on his hips like a mother would. This caused us all to laugh.

"We just stopped by the cemetery...paid a visit to my dad." at the last part I sort of mumbled because I did not want everyone to hear it, not that it mattered much anyway. What happened happened and I cannot change that no matter how hard I want to.

"Oh okay, do you guys want lunch? Me and Henry brought home subs." Patrick said, pointing to the counter with a deli bag with two sandwiches. Me and Belch looked at each other and nodded before Belch spoke up

"Yea sure why not?" Belch said as we both walked up and grabbed an individual sandwich and set it on our typical place on the table. I looked into the fridge and found they had bought Pepsi and Fanta. I grabbed a Pepsi and poured it into a glass of ice. I sat at my usual place on the table and began to unravel the wrapping to eat the sandwich. As me and Belch were eating, the guys started to tell us their plans for the rest of the day.

"We were planning on partying tonight, we got the beers, cigs, playing cards, cups, the whole shabang." Henry said as he started showing us everything he and Patrick had obtained. I nodded and continued to eat my sandwich. After me and Belch finished eating I announced that I was going to take a nap before our little party started. I walked into my bedroom and untied my shoes. I got into the queen sized bed and covered myself with the comforter. As I laid in my bed I stared at the window covered by white curtains, the sun shining in on the semi-dark room. I closed my eyes as I began to think about what I wanted to dream about. I wanted to dream about me and my dad, how life would be if he was alive.

A couple hours later I woke up to the room in complete darkness. I got this feeling in my body that I knew all too well. I closed my eyes tightly and whispered to myself.

"Oh please god not tonight." I opened my eyes and could feel the heavy feeling of depression entering throughout my body. I sighed and slowly got up. I put my gray slippers on and made my way to the bathroom. As I walked my way across the hall I could see the guys had already started the party. They had already started drinking and playing card games, far away it looked like poker but I could be wrong. Patrick had made eye contact with me.

"You okay kid?" Patrick asked which made the rest of the guys turn to look at me. I thought for a second on how to respond. I could actually say that I was not okay for the first time ever in my life or do what I always do and lie.

"I'm fine, just tired." I simply said as I walked into the bathroom. After I flushed the toilet and about to wash my hands I looked into the mirror. I didn't see myself in the mirror, I mean physically I was there but it didn't feel like me. It felt like a chunk of me was missing. I washed my face with cold water and wiped my face. I took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom and went into the living room. I sat in between Belch and Victor. Patrick dealt me some cards while Henry passed me a red plastic cup with an unfamiliar liquid inside. I looked at it and swirled it around before looking at Henry

"What's in this?" I asked, Henry gave me a look of disbelief.

"It's beer, what else do you think it is?" Henry said in a nasty tone. I decided to just shut up and drink from the damn cup. It actually did not taste that bad. I continued to drink it sip by sip as we played all sorts of card games. As I kept getting to the bottom of the cup, the guys were always sure to refill it to the top. After a few hours everything began to be a blur.

"Hey...why is everything so...blurry" I slurred as I began to sip more of the beer. Patrick was quick to take the cup away from my hand.

"Alice, I think you had enough." Patrick reasoned as he helped me get up. I stumbled as I pushed him away.

"I'm fine, the fuck are you talking about?" I said angrily as I stumbled into the bathroom to pee. As I walked in all I could do was stare at the blurred version of myself, and I hated what I saw. I opened the drawer and found the small shank that I would cut myself with when I was here on a small trip. I grabbed the small, pointy, metal object and began to slide it across my forearm. I winced slightly but I kept on repeating the action several times. I then began to see stars and I closed my eyes. Next thing I remember was everyone around me freaking out. I felt so lightheaded and numb so I closed my eyes again, hoping to fall asleep and continue the dream I had before.