Stuck in The Multiverse

Chapter 15 - Answers...And more questions

"Oh. I didn't realize...I just, I kinda, my wrist, and then I saw something and..."

"Breathe Ness, breathe. Take your time. Breathe, and then tell me what you saw."

I take a second to center myself. I don't dare look away from Nat's face because I know for a fact everyone is staring at me.

I swallow back the lump in my throat. "When Sergeant Barnes grabbed my wrist it felt like I was disconnected from my body. I didn't control anything but I saw glimpses, like stills in a movie but moving? Whatever that was, it was real, I felt it", I say anguished.

"What do you mean you 'felt it'", she probes.

"I felt, I don't know how to describe it but, like, you know how it feels when you remember something out of the blue because you saw an object or someone said a specific word? It felt exactly like that. A sudden, strong emotion, that passes as soon as you've acknowledged what it is. At first, I didn't", I scrunch my eyes shut, "at first I saw a dark room, and sheets on the floor, then it was a hallway and I was, I was, I–". I feel myself start to hyperventilate.

I take a second to breathe.

"Come on, we're not staying standing for that. Come on, kid." Tony beckons us toward the couch area. I tuck myself in the corner, curled in a ball on the armchair and head on the armrest between my arms. I instantly feel safer and more assured shielded from the light and not seeing their faces.

"After the hallway, there was a glass box and then several other images but also pain, so much pain." I whimper. "It felt excruciating Nat", I lift my head back up, "it felt like being ripped apart at every joint and being fried alive at the same time." As I finish my sentence I hear a sharp intake from my right. Suddenly Barnes storms out of the room, with Rogers hot on his tail.

"OK, enough for tonight", Tony claps his hands, "let's get all back to bed, sleep on it, and talk again in the morning." He sits up and looks down at Nat. "You got her?"

"Yes Tony, go to bed, I got Ness." He nods and crosses in front of me between the chair and sofa towards the stairs. He stops on the first step. "Hey kid", I look away from the window, "don't worry, whatever it is we'll solve it." I nod. "Or we'll at least study you." He shrugs with a smile.

"Geez, thanks Mr. Stark, I feel so much better already", I roll my eyes. They both chuckle and he disappears up the stairs.

"Come on Ness, I'll get you back to bed." She stands and extends her hand to me. I take it to stand up and follow her toward my room.

"I think I know what I saw", I whisper almost inaudibly.

"What?"

"I think I know what I saw", I repeat, "I think it was Barnes's memories. I'm not sure but it was definitely not my own and it's the only explanation. He was the only other one in the room when it happened."

As we arrive in the room, I climb on inside my bed. Natasha is standing in the doorway.

"Sleep, we'll talk in the morning", she reassures with a smile.

"Okay, night Tasha." She nods and leaves, closing the door after her.

❋❋❋

After a few hours of sleep, I feel less shaky. I grab my stuff and go to the bathroom to prepare for the day before going to have breakfast. As I round the corner to the kitchen, I hear that some of the Avengers are there.

"Hello." I wave to the group. They turn to me and Tony pulls a chair out for me at the counter. He then moves to get me a bowl and pour cereals in it.

"I can't do it myself you know, you don't have to cater for me", I say embarrassedly as he sets the bowl in front of me.

"I wouldn't want another one of my crockery to end up smashed on the floor", he teases, referring to the incident the night before.

"About yesterday–", I start.

"You were right", Barnes interrupts, "It was me. It was my memories you saw."

"Really?" Natasha looks at him and then at me. "Your deduction was correct then."

"I'm so sorry", I tell him. I feel so bad having seen whatever it was. I can't imagine how he feels, not having had control over his own mind for decades, and now having someone he despises being privy to his memories. "I promise you it wasn't intentional at all, I don't know how that happened."

He grunts. "When I touched your arm it was like I was back there. But it was as if it was not my own, like watching TV."

"So like, can you read minds", asks Tony, "like Wanda?"

"I do not think it is nearly the same thing as to mind reading. The way that you described what happened, seeing nearly still images, that I can do too. I experienced it with Brunhilde."

Tony looks towards Loki. "What do you mean? What is it then?"

"I can do it because I have magic, but you do not, so I can only assume." He takes a pensive pause. "Mind reading is merely watching ripples on water. What I do is revisit memories. It's plunging underwater to observe the riverbed. And sometimes the riverbed is scattered with so many sparkling rocks that you're pulled under the surface before you know it. That is the best way to describe it."

"So what, my memories are shiny rocks?" Barnes asks disgruntled.

"No, memories shine according to the vivacity they hold. It is not based on the newness but on the force of the emotion associated with it. Basically, the emotions are what I tap into when I search for a memory."

"So that was what I felt", I whisper. All three turn their heads towards me. "I felt it, the emotions attached to them, like you said Loki. It", I pause, casting a brief glance at Barnes before continuing, "it was bad, really awful." I look up at him again. "I'm really sorry you had to feel that. And I'm sorry I intruded on your mind too, even if I don't know how." He nods once at me in acknowledgment.

"Well, we're clearly out of our depth here, I suggest we call Wanda and Strange." I look at Natasha as she continues, "Someone has to be able to help. I'm sure Strange will find something in his grimoires."