Wake Up

Chapter Six

The next few nights were amazing. We were driving all over the US playing shows. The energy of the crowd, the roar of the music, and the adrenaline pumping through our veins made it all feel like a dream come true. Each city brought a new wave of excitement as we stepped onto the stage, feeling the heat of the spotlight and the anticipation of the crowd waiting for us. But beneath the surface of exhilaration, I couldn't help but feel a nagging sense of exhaustion creeping in. It was my first time ever performing and I wasn't used to it. We got on the bus after our last show before our week long break. Neil was immediately on his phone, texting and smiling.

"Still talking to Laney?" I asked.

"Ooooo Neil has a crush!" Brad teased. The boys joined in.

"Alright. Yes I am. And I do like her. I'm gonna see if she can come and see me this week since were not performing."

I flashed a knowing smile in Neil's direction, secretly glad that he found someone who could make him feel happier and more connected during our time off. I didn't know what I would be doing. I wanted to reach out to Matt, maybe try to reconcile, but Adam wouldn't be happy, and I wasn't sure I would be either.

I changed into my pajamas and curled up on the couch.

"Is everything okay?" Neil asked me.

I sighed and looked up at Neil with a hint of sadness in my eyes. "Yeah, I think so. I'm just tired. Performing is fun, but exhausting."

Neil nodded understandingly and sat down beside me on the couch. "I feel ya. If you ever need a break you can just hang out backstage."

I nodded my head. "Thanks."

Adam looked at us sitting together and I couldn't read the expression on his face. He walked past us and disappeared into his room without a word. Barry looked at us.

"He thinks you two are flirting."

I rolled my eyes. Neil shook his head. "I'm chasing after my own girl. He has nothing to worry about."

"I'm also not ready to jump into another relationship just yet." I said. "Anyway, I need sleep and so do you guys. I'll see ya in the morning."

As I stood up from the couch, stretching out the tension in my muscles, Barry nodded in agreement. We all went to our bunks and passed out. At least everyone else did. I couldn't help but think about Matt. Even though what happened wasn't my fault I still blamed myself. If I hadn't talked to Adam at the record store then my life would be the way it was before. My mind was racing and I couldn't get it to stop so I decided to step outside.

I dug through my bag and found my pack of cigarettes. It was a bad habit and I tried to quit years ago and for the most part I stopped. It was just on nights like these that I needed one. I slipped a cigarette between my lips, flicking the lighter open and watching the flame dance in the night air. I took a drag and felt myself calm down a little bit. I lit up a second one and stared into the darkness. After I finished that one I went back inside and decided to write some lyrics.

Adam was getting a drink of water and he looked at me.

"Smoking huh?"

I shrugged. "Old habits die hard."

He could tell something was bothering me. He handed me the glass of water, his eyes showed concern.

"I don't need water."

He shrugged and chugged it.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

I shrugged again. "Kind of. I'm just trying to figure things out with Matt."