Wake Up

Chapter Seven

I didn't sleep much that night. I dozed off around 3 in the morning, but woke myself up. I decided to make a pot of coffee to keep myself awake. I was thinking about my dad. I was relieved that he was gone. I wouldn't have to worry about him hurting me ever again. I grabbed my journal and starting writing. After I finished writing my lyrics down I started singing.

"Don't know whats going on. Don't know what went wrong. It feels like a hundred years I still can't believe your gone. So I'll stay up all night with these bloodshot eyes. While these wall surround me with the story of our lives."

"I feel so much better now that your gone forever. I tell myself that I don't miss you at all. I'm not lying, denying, that I feel so much better now, that your gone forever."

I smiled and continued to sing.

"Now things are coming clear, that I don't need you here. And in this world around me I'm glad you disappeared. So I'll stay out all night. Get drunk and fucking fight. Until the morning comes I'll forget about our lives."

I sang the chorus again and then the bridge.

"The first time you screamed at me, I should have made you leave. I should have known it could be so much better. I hope your missing me. I hope I've made you see that I'm gone forever. And now it's coming clear that I don't need you here. And in this world around me I'm glad you disappeared."

I sang the chorus one last time and then sat in the silence. I went outside to smoke. It was the last in my pack. I wasn't supposed to be using them this much. I would need to buy a new pack. We were going to get on the road soon so I told Gavin I was walking to the gas station. I decided to get snacks and drinks for everyone while I was there. I shoved the pack of cigarettes in my pocket and carried the bags back to the bus. I handed Gavin his soda and chips and then put everything else away in the cabinets. I finally laid down to get some sleep.

We all woke up around the same time which means I only got a few hours of sleep. I wanted to smoke really bad, but we were driving to Jackson, so I couldn't. We made it to Jackson and parked at a restaurant. Everyone went inside and I stayed back to smoke. I didn't realize that Neil hadn't left the trailer yet so he came out and saw me smoking.

"You know thats bad for you right?"

I shrugged. "It keeps me from hurting myself."

He sighed. "There's got to be a healthier thing you could do."

"I'm learning guitar."

"Then focus on that instead of all the bad things. How are your arms healing?"

I got nervous and took another drag. "They're fine. You don't need to worry about me."

He gave me a look that said 'of course I'm going to worry about you'. "Look I know we don't know each other very well, but all of us care about you. Were here if you need anything."

I smiled. "Thanks." I put out my cigarette and we headed into the restaurant. We ate dinner and then went back onto the bus to get to the venue. Brad was on the phone with someone as we were unloading all of our gear. After we got the stage set up and fiddled around on my guitar. I came up with a part for my new song. Brad came up on stage to talk to me.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey, somethings going on with Matt."

I frowned. "What is it?"

"He called me and said he was in trouble and that he was coming to see us before the show."

"Did he say why?"

Brad shook his head. "No. He said he needed to talk to us in private."

My phone started vibrating and I answered it.