New Year's Day

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TRIGGER WARNINGS!

Discussions of suicide, alcohol consumption, K*nye W*st

Let me know if I missed any

Like I always did, the next day I pretended like nothing had happened between Taylor and I. I was open to talk about it when she wanted but as of right now, I was keeping my mouth shut. She seemed a lot more upbeat today and was back to her talkative self so hopefully everything had been resolved and she was okay.

Taylor laughed after reading my song, pushing it away and groaning.

"We're both producing two completely vibes," she said, gesturing to a pile of paper, "that's all very tragic and the rest is slow and healing. You can definitely link them but they're not the same." I chuckled.

"It's like folklore and evermore all over again." She looked up from the table, staring at me as she thought.

"Wait, that's actually not a bad idea," she said. I had only been joking but in all honesty, it could work. We didn't have to put masses of songs on both but it would mean our project was a little longer so my long-distance relationship would have to continue. There were also a lot of other factors we'd need to discuss with our teams first before making a final decision but it was definitely a possibility.

"Hey Taylor?" I said, analysing her body language to try and detect how she might react to my next question.

"Hmm?" she said, looking up at me and noticing my expression. My lip caught between my teeth, my wandering eyes, the crease between my brows. Her full attention was on me, her body relaxing, letting me know she was comfortable.

"When will we be able to hang out again?" I said. I didn't know when we'd next get so much time together and I wanted to make the most of every minute. I would never take a moment with her for granted again. And now that my relationship was starting to crumble away, this was the one thing that took me away from it all. The girl who made me smile and laugh until the muscles in my cheeks ached and took us to a world of our own, one where I could be content with her by my side forever. She sighed.

"I don't know," Taylor said, "Joe's back in London for a while now. I'll have to spend time with him." She didn't meet my gaze which confused me. She only did that when she was lying or hiding something. But I couldn't even begin to think why. Taylor and Joe were happy together and there was nothing wrong with her being with him instead of me. I couldn't detect what the problem was. Did this have something to do with yesterday?

"Okay," I said, "call me whenever you want to hang out. It can be anytime." She nodded.

"Of course," she said.

The rest of the day went on as it usually did; we wrote music, edited lyrics, jotted down chords and discussed the album. We were almost ready to start working with her producer and the band, we just had to discuss a few details with them first. And propose the idea of having two albums instead of one.

"My driver dropped me off today," Taylor said as we organised our possessions, "is it okay if you drive me home? I hope it's not too much of a hassle." I shook my head. I would love to spend an extra half an hour with her, especially if we were going to be spending less time together now.

"No problem," I said. I held the car door open for her and she playfully gave my arm a slap.

"Oh stop," she said, "I asked for a lift, not a chauffeur."

"Don't complain and get in," I said. She couldn't help but grin, giving me the middle finger before getting into the car, receiving one right back.

On the way home, we got iced coffees from McDonald's and I put on my playlist, both of us singing out the lyrics at the top of our voices. I could sense people around us shooting us questionable looks whenever we had to come to a halt but it's not like we cared. You only had to search our names into the internet to find something unbearably embarrassing we did that's now immortalised forever. Compared to that, this was nothing.

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