The Great War

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Trigger warnings!

Reference to eating disorder

Struggles with eating

Brief reference to suicide


As soon as my eyes fell onto my calendar, my heart sank. Amongst my job and the chaos of the week, I had completely forgotten one of the most important events of the year. Lizzie and I's four year anniversary.

I slumped down onto the sofa, yawning and stretching out my limbs. We had gone to the studio early today and had been working on songs for hours, specifically concentrating on the instrumental and production side. I should've considered this sooner so I would've been able to send her a gift in time. Maybe I could buy and send one now and tell her it was delayed.

I scrolled through the list of films on my TV, waiting for something to catch my eye. While I was searching, I tried to come up with something we could do on our anniversary. There wasn't much you could do long-distance. We would probably just call each other and call it a day. Schedule to get dinner together next time we were together or something along those lines. My mind was way too blurred to come up with a creative gift or celebration idea right now.

After scrolling pointlessly for another few minutes, I switched off the TV and opened up my phone. What I really wanted to do was call Taylor and meet up with her but I didn't want to be irritating. And she was probably with Joe anyway. He had made it clear he didn't want me near him.

The TV was switched on again in a matter of seconds and instead of trying to find a new film or TV show, I opened the category I had clicked on over a hundred times in my life. The first marvel movie that appeared was Avengers: Age of Ultron. That would do.

I pressed play and threw the remote control next to me, tugging the blanket onto my body and bringing my legs up to my chest. It wasn't long before it was obvious that my choice of movie was unwise in my current circumstances. The sight of Lizzie over and over again kept reminding me of her and our upcoming anniversary that I had forgotten about. The complex situation I now had to find a fix to quick.

As I watched her, I smiled to myself remembering the night we met. We had both been nominated for a Teen Choice award and as soon as we had gotten to the venue, Taylor and I had headed straight over to the marvel cast to introduce ourselves. Even though Taylor wasn't a huge marvel fan, she knew how much this moment meant to me and wanted to be there for me in case I got anxious. She happened to be a member of the marvel cast that was there.

We weren't that close during the first few years of our friendship. But in 2018, everything changed. She wanted a place to stay in New York but didn't want to rent an apartment on her own and I just happened to have a spare room. It was convenient for both of us to be roommates since we would only have to pay half the rent each.

I should've seen it coming really, what happened next. I sat back, reminiscing the first few years of our love, the silly dates, the warmth, the closeness, the spark. It had been so perfect. So why was it beginning to fade? Where had we gone wrong? I could keep denying it but it was growing painfully obvious. Something had changed between us. Where did the love I had go?

I shook my head. I was being ridiculous, of course I still loved Lizzie. It was just difficult being long-distance with her, that's all. Right now, it was complicated. But that's what souls are. A complex array of pieces and string woven together that twists each time there is even a little bit of movement. A multidimensional portrait scarred by the paint strokes of life, memories and the consequences of being human. An interpretation that differs depending on the eyes that follow each ridge in the artwork.

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