Find Me (barry allen/ the flash)

14. The Reverse

Christmas was Brea's favorite time of year. The music, the decorating, the holiday movies and most of all, the gift shopping. Unfortunately for her, things have been dampering her usual festive mood. The past few nights, she's been plagued with nightmares, seeing a familar pair of red eyes circling around her. Many times, she's woken up out her sleep, sweating profusely and out of breath, but the lingering stare of those eyes still surround her.

Although the restless nights have been dimming her light, Brea tried not to let it hinder the holiday mood. Currently, she sat in the living room watching Joe and Barry slowly but surely decorate the tree. "Barry, could you please...?" Brea asked gesturing to the almost naked tree.

"Don't you do it." Joe warned. Barry smirked at him and in the blink of eye, the tree was fully decorated. "Okay, the only red suited dude I want in this house right now is Kris Kringle, you got it?" Joe said to his kids. Within another blink, the tree was back to its original state. Thankfully Barry had already relaxed back in his seat because Iris walked into the room just seconds after he used his power. Brea still feels bad for keeping her sister out of the loop, especially since she's been advancing her journalist career by writing about The Flash. She knows Iris would go even further if she had first hand knowledge from the team instead of the small tidbits the city witnesses, but it's for the best.

"Uh, these ornaments aren't gonna hang themselves." Iris points to the tree with a tray of mugs in her other hand. "Grandma Esther's recipe. Light on the bourbon."

Brea gladly grabbed a cup of eggnog and took a genrous sip, feeling the bourbon burn boost her energy. "By light, she meant the whole bottle. Cheers to Grandma Esther." She raised her glass and took another sip. Joe had been called to the station, leaving the best friends home alone. Brea sat quietly on the couch while watching Iris drag Barry to the ground. Like the youngest sister, Iris loved gift giving. The three of them started the tradition of trading one gift before Christmas day after Iris couldn't keep her excitement down one year.

"My mother's wedding band?" Iris asked, causing Brea to tune back into reality.

"A replica, yeah. You were devastated when you lost the real one." Barry said. "Our fifth grade field trip to the zoo. You cried for weeks." Brea watched as Barry laid the necklace around Iris' neck and couldn't help but feel sadness. All these years of watching Barry fall hopelessly in love with her sister, one would think Brea's feelings for Barry would falter, but the gentleness he displays and the kindness he shares reels her back in every time. She's been content with him in her life as a friend, a best friend, but the longing for a life of more with him still sits in the back of her mind.

"Brea." Iris calls out. "Did you hear me? It's your turn." Iris says excitedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, I'm not ready to exchange gifts right now. Maybe later." Brea said.

Iris opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. As she was distracted by Eddie's arrival, Barry took the time to study his friend. "Okay, what's going on? You've been withdrawn these past couple of days."

"Nothing. Just saving my energy for Christmas Eve." She brushed off.

"Saving your energy? B, you would've had this tree decorated Thanksgiving night and this time around, wrapping paper would be sprawled out across this living with Christmas movies playing non stop. I haven't even seen you touch a bow, let alone wrap anything. What's really going on?" Barry inquired.

With a sigh, Brea said. "I haven't been getting much sleep. With everything that's been going on in our lives, my mind has been preoccupied. I promise I'm okay, though. Let's get to the lab. I have presents for the team I want to hand out." She knocked back the rest of her eggnog before quickly leaving the room to get ready. Barry didn't believe a word she said, but knew it was best to leave her be until she was ready to be truthful.