My Best friend?

chapter 7

Soyoung's POV

Hmm she's not here, I guess she really meant what she said. I feel so bad though, I mean I didn't mean to hurt her that badly. It's true I did cheat on her but that was the first and last time I would ever do that. I really really like her but I'm scared of what my dad will think. He's an amazing and supportive dad, but I've noticed how he tenses up when we walk by any homosexual couple. I really wanted to let him know that the person I was falling for was a girl but I don't know how he'll take it. So instead of treating her the right way I decided maybe it would be easier to dislike her. I hung out with so many guys in an attempt to find someone that would treat me better than she did but it didn't work. Every time I tried, she just ended pulling me back in with her kindness.

I really messed up

I really didn't mean for that to happen but it did. Jiho is just my cousin's friend and he's the only one who truly knows the way I feel.

" hey, noona do you wanna go for a drink? I know how stressed you've been with your dad and all." He asked. I smiled and replied, " sure but I don't want to get too drunk though."

Jiho and I have been really close friends and I feel bad for trauma dumping on him because I know he's going through a tough time too. His girlfriend broke up with him not too long ago because she'd found someone else. We ended up really drunk that night though, and I forgot Reagan was coming over.

I felt so terrible seeing the look on her face when she walked in on me and Jiho. If only she knew I had been thinking about her the entire time.

To make things worse I noticed how close Jiyoon and her were and I knew Jiyoon liked her, but now I know I don't have a chance. I know Jiyoon was the one she went to to comfort her.

I honestly messed up so badly, we were all friends and I threw that all away. I should have just talked to her, I know she would have supported me but I was too scared.

I tried to get to come so I could talk to her but of course instead of being a rational human being I told her my dad wanted to see her. I walked to her dorm earlier this morning but my heart sank when I heard her and Jiyoon talking. It seems they had always liked each other and I was just getting in the way but that doesn't change the way I feel about Reagan. We started out as friends and she fell first but I definitely fell harder. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so scared, maybe things would have gone better.

I definitely need to talk to her though.

So I called...

"hey", I started and she replied "hi"

She seemed calmer than she was yesterday though, which I took as a sign to continue.

" I-um can we talk somewhere, I just want to tell you my side of the story. You know, the complete truth"

Silence. I wasn't sure if she wasn't going to hang up, but she agreed and we decided to meet up at the coffee shop by the school.

Hey I'm really sorry Reagan, umm about everything. I really didn't mean to hurt you, I was just so sad and drunk that night and while I did cheat it wasn't meant to happen. I honestly was thinking about you the entire time and now I don't even have a chance with you anymore. I said while crying now, I wasn't trying to but it just came out.

Reagan I'm in love with you and I can't even have you anymore. I said a second time realizing what I've truly lost out on.

' Hey, Hey slow down, I'm sorry but what you did hurt me and what do you mean? You're confusing me.'

Reagan I said in between sobs, I've always liked you and I tried so hard not to even when I knew Jiyoon liked you but I couldn't help myself. I really tried because my dad hates homosexuals and I wanted to be a perfect daughter for him but I failed by liking you. My dad doesn't know about, I wish he did but I couldn't tell him. I was scared he'd disown me after all I've done, I am A student and I'm so hardworking but he won't see that If I tell him about us. All he'll see is a disgrace of a daughter who is sinning and going against religion.

Reagan listen to me all those guys I talked to were really just friends, and I'm sorry I was always so toxic and disrespectful to you. You honestly deserved better. Jiho the guy you saw a few days ago, he's a close friend and we were both really drunk. I'm so sorry.

I also know what's going on between you and Jiyoon and I'm happy for you. Well I'm sad but I'm happy you found someone that can treat you better than I did. I just hope you can forgive me.

She looked at me with that smile I fell for. ' hey you know you could have just talked to me about this from the beginning right?'

I know and I'm so sorry, I was just so scared. I mean Jiho is the only that knows how I feel.

' Hmm it's okay, alright I forgive you. But I think you need to apologize to jiyoon as well, you were a jerk to both of us. '

Yea I will, I just hope she's not too upset with me. Maybe we could be friends after all this is over? I asked with the little bit of hope I was holding on to.

' yea of course, you know I miss your jokes and lighthearted self ' she said while embracing me.

I was just happy to have her back in my life. And although I can't have her I hope we can remain good friends.