My Best friend?

Chapter 11

Song- Understand by MELOH, Gist

Reagan's POV

It had been a few weeks since I talked to Soyoung and I started to get worried and feel guilty. I mean I accused her of lying when she was trying to help me and not only that I was a hypocrite and cheating on her because she did so. To make things worse she wasn't even fully aware of what was happening that night and I cheated. I haven't really seen Jiyoon around either, which is weird considering we both stay in the same dorm but I saw it as a good thing since I wasn't really ready to face her yet.

I sat on the edge of my bed, hands trembling, holding my phone and staring at Soyoung's name for what felt like hours before I finally decided to hit the call button.

The phone rang for a bit before she answered "H-hey Reagan? Sorry I was a bit busy"

"N-no it's okay. I...I don't even know where to start, um I need to talk to you." I responded, preparing myself for the difficult conversation I was about to have.

"Um ok, go ahead."

"No, we need to meet in person," I replied quickly, without hesitation.

"Ok, you know where my dorm is"

"I'll be there." After I hung up the phone, I got dressed and rushed out of mine and Jiyoon's dorm room.

Few moments later

I arrived at her dorm and knocked. It took some time but when she opened the door, I got worried, she looking thinner and I couldn't help but notice the eye bags underneath her eyes. "Are you okay Soyoung?" I asked concern and worry laced in my voice.

"Um you wanted to talk to me Reagan, go ahead," she responded ignoring my question as she sat on her bed and motioned for me to do the same.

"Right," I began, my voice trembling slightly. "First of all, I wanted to apologize for accusing you of lying when deep down I knew you were telling the truth. I said things I shouldn't have to you and you have been nothing but a great friend and ex to me so I should have trusted you." The air between us was thick and I could feel the tension around us. Soyoung remained silent, waiting for me to continue so I took a deep breath and continued.

"I also need to apologize for being a hypocrite, I was just so hurt that night and I did some impulsive things. I preached about honesty and loyalty, but I... I betrayed that; I betrayed you. I accused you of betraying my trust but...but I did the same thing to you. I cheated on you Soyoung that night with Jiyoon, I got so drunk and acted on impulse. I'm so sorry but I know sorry doesn't even begin to cover it, but I had to tell you; I couldn't hide it any longer."

Her expression softened, and she looked up at me. She reached out and took my hands in hers, a silent gesture of understanding. I could feel the tears welling up and blinked them back, unable to bear the thought of breaking down in front of her.

"I appreciate you telling me the truth, Reagan," Soyoung said softly. "But I already knew, Yoon told me when she came to talk to me some days ago; it really hurts but I understand you were hurt as well. I just wished we could have talked it over instead of everything that happened."

Soyoung squeezed my hands gently, giving me the flicker of hope I didn't know I needed. "I forgive you but need some time though, just to wrap my mind around everything." Soyoung said after a moment, her voice tinged with sadness.

"Yea of course, I completely understand, I just hope we can still stay friends?"

"I don't know about being friends after all this but I really want to try." She said looking down at our intertwined hands before letting go.

I felt a surge of gratitude towards Soyoung and a renewed determination to prove myself worthy of her forgiveness. I knew it wouldn't be easy trying to restore our friendship to what it once was but I was willing to work hard to get there.

"I understand," I said, my voice steadier now. "And take all the time you need, Soyoung. I'll be here waiting, I'm always a phone call away, okay?" Soyoung offered a small smile, and I couldn't help but feel a warmth spread throughout my body at the sight of it. I got up to leave but Soyoung quickly pulled me back down to sit on her bed.

"Also, before you go Reagan, I wanted to tell you something."

"Um sure go ahead" I responded, still a bit taken aback by the sudden action.

"It's about Jiyoon, I think you should talk to her and just hear her out."

"Soyoung, hear her out?" I asked all the anger I buried starting to resurface. "You don't understand, she dumped me and called me clingy after cheating on me with not one but multiple girls." I continued raising my voice more than I intended to. "Sorry... just what is there to talk about?" I protested, my voice trembling with pent-up emotion.

"You won't understand but she really did like you, things just went wrong. Just promise me you'll talk to her."

"Soyoung I can't, I just can't do it," I responded softer this time. "I can't forgive her for what she did that day. She looked me in the eye and told me all of it was a lie, she's so selfish Soyoung. I mean look what she did to you." I didn't mean for it to sound so rude and bitter but once I looked at Soyoung I could tell what I said had struck a nerve.

"I know it's hard, Reagan," Soyoung began gently. "But sometimes, forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook. It's about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. It's simply about finding peace within yourself."

I knew Soyoung was right but the thought of facing Jiyoon and talking to her about what happened filled me with dread.

"What if she doesn't even care that she hurt me, Soyoung? I whispered.

Soyoung squeezed my hands, offering silent support. "Reagan, you won't know until you talk to her. And even if she doesn't care, which I doubt, forgiving her is not about her--- It's about taking back control of your life and your emotions."

I was silent for some time, processing what Soyoung had told me. "Okay, I'll try. I'll talk to her. I'll forgive her, not for her sake but for mine." I said reassuringly not to Soyoung but to myself.

Soyoung smiled, "Thanks, I know you won't regret it. Also, thanks for coming to talk to me, I appreciate that." She said, playfully punching my shoulder.

"I should be the one thanking you Soyoung. And let me know when you're ready to hang out or do whatever it is friends do." I smiled as I headed towards the door.

"Of course, Bye"

"Bye" As I left her dorm, a newfound sense of relief washed over me, mingled with gratitude for Soyoung's understanding.