With Love...

i fucked up

BELLE

When I was twelve, Theo told me he was going to come over and specifically told me that he'd see me in five minutes and that's when he would be over. I remember making a huge deal about how five minute is such a long time when you think about it and so many things can happen in a span of five minutes before we even realize. 

Theo tried to tell me that in the time it had taken me to complain, he could've done what he needed to do, and then already been over but i was overly persistent on how the phrase "see you in five" was ttoo long and not well thought out. He then asked me what would make it better. So I thought for a while and decided I couldn't figure anything out.

"What about 'See you in 2'?" he had asked me and I pondered for a bit.

"As in you'll be here in two minutes?" I confirmed with him.

"If you ever stop blabbing then yes, I will see you in two minutes."

And from then on our thing has alway been "See you in 2".

I throw on a sweatshirt and some loose shorts before finding my flipflops and throwing those on as well. I wish I had my stupid journal. I feel like I've been going crazy without it. I have torn my room apart. Twice. Looked all around this stupid house nd nothing. It's like it never even existed.

Coming to the realization that the journal won't be found tonight, I allow myself to sneak out of my bedroom window and down the trellis that's always been outside. I'm worried about having reporters camped outside my house and I feel like waltzing out the front door would be the worst idea I could come up with. 

Sure enough, I am corrected. They're waiting anxiously a few feet from the stairs, waiting for me to reappear. Luckily, it's pitch black and we have no lights on our property, so I make a quick beeline to Theo's house, tapping on his front door once I arrive. I wait for about twenty seconds before it flies open and reveals a shirtless Theodore standing before me, fresh out of the shower.

Seeing him feels like a sigh of relief. Today has been so draining and unruly I forgot I had someone right here with me. He smiles at me when he takes me in and steps aside to let me.

"You look about just as great as I feel," Theo comments and I let out a breathy laugh as I enter his house. 

"It's been a rough day," I admit.

"We can go upstairs," he gestures. "My mom and sister are asleep."

All I do is nod and push the feeling that I'll be in Theo's bedroom again. For the first time since I was 15. The last time I saw him before my life changed forever. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. So when i step inside behind him, I realize it's almost exactly how it was when I left. And that just makes me want to hurl.

Theo is leaning down and grabbing scattered pieces of clothing before tossing them into a nearby hamper. Same place he's always kept it. Still overflowing with dirty laundry that I'm sure his mom nag him about constantly.

"Sorry about the mess. I don't really have people up here anymore," he says casually before falling back on his bed.

I don't respond but I look around. The navy blue painted walls that have band posters and sports jerseys plastered onto them. His little league baseball trophies line the few shelves that are mounted above his desk. There's added medals from high school too. Ones I never even knew he had. His senior banner is in the corner above his bed for baseball. That's when I realize, I don't know anything about him anymore.

"Annabella?" he says, pulling me from my thoughts and I look over at him. He pats the spot next to him on his bed, urging me to come and sit.

And I do.