Glass Hearts || Noah Sebastian

24.

I had my first nightmare in two years a few nights ago. I woke up screaming and crying as vivid depictions of Jasper flashed through my head that night. It felt so real I could smell the whiskey that always coated his breath as he in he's his way towards my face; almost suffocating me. I could feel as his fingertips bruised my skin, it felt like hot knives digging in and melting me away.

  I was able to play it off to Noah when he rushed into my room to check on me, he knows I used to get them a lot when we were younger. Especially after my dad died, but he didn't know they stopped for a while and I almost got used to not having them anytime, up until the broken glass shattering around me triggered something in my subconscious.

He laid with me that night, holding me close until he felt my breathing level out and assumed I went to sleep. I didn't, but he wasn't the wiser. Which is why he didn't expect me to hear the him as he laid with his head resting against my pillows. He was quiet when he spoke, voice barely above a whisper just in case I wasn't deep enough in slumber to still hear him. But I did.

  "I love you, Veronica"

It's played in my head on an infinite loop every second of the day since. I couldn't get it to stop, my heart aching at the thought. I couldn't comprehend what I was feeling, if it was good or bad. All I know is it's something I've never felt before.

  Thankfully, tonight is my first night at the club and it was going to be a much needed distraction from the mess called my life.

  I've spent the last two hours getting ready, painting my face with more makeup than I have worn in the last month. Eli and Mel both told me to dress, and I quote, all black, classy, but slightly slutty. Whatever that means, I decided on pleather pants and a mesh top tucked over a corset that stops at my navel. It seems appropriate enough for what I've seen in my club going days. If it's not up to par I'll blame it on my friends.

I gather all my belongings, shoving them into my bag and slipping my feet into one of the only non pleaser pair of heels I own. I walk into the bathroom to look at myself one more time, smoothing out the hairs on my head and spraying myself with some perfume. Once I'm satisfied I make my way out, shutting the door behind me so Bizkit doesn't sneak in to plot my demise.

  Noah is with the boys, they wanted to go over a game plan for the tour they are about to restart in a few days and I couldn't be happier to not have to face him, yet. It's been weird since the night on the balcony and even weirder after I heard his pillow talk. Not because of anything he's been doing, but I'm stuck in an unsettling headspace that I can't seem to claw my way out of.

  Shaking my head I push the thoughts back, I need to be on my A game tonight.

  The ride to the club doesn't consist of much other than listening to whatever played on the local rock station, and cussing out the incompetent drivers that moved around me. Thankfully, it's short and I am parking around the back of the club in no time. I step out of my car, slamming the door harshly to ensure that the old locks click into place. It's gotten worse lately, and it seems like every small stupid thing on the beater is starting to fall apart. At first it was a short in the tail lights, and now it won't lock unless I slam my body into it.

  I spot Mel and Eli leaning against the door that leads to the back of the club. They're both huffing down cigarettes as I approach them, catching their attention when my heels echo in the air.

  "Oh damn, you look hot" Eli calls as I come into view, giving him a bashful smile.

  "Thanks, Eli. I love what you've done with your hair" I compliment as I see just how much he has changed in the short month since I saw him last. He's always been one to switch up his style at any given moment, but I almost didn't recognize him with his now short cut and bleached hair. It makes his light eyes pop, like little twinkles of blue speckled across pale white snow.