A Ruin Of Roses (Used to be: My Mysterious Husband)

TWENTY-FOUR

𝙳𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚗, 𝙸𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝟹:𝟹𝟻 𝙿.𝙼 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝟹𝟶𝚝𝚑 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾
[𝙿.𝙾.𝚅 𝚁𝙾𝚂𝙴]

Ever since that ominous letter arrived, I've been hyper-vigilant, constantly looking over my shoulder to ensure that Jayden is always within my sight. The sense of paranoia that it triggered weighs heavily on me, making me feel like I'm being hunted. My motherly instincts are on high alert, and I can't help but worry about the unknown dangers lurking in the shadows.

After Jayden's doctor's appointment, he guides me to the car, his small hand reassuringly holding mine. I muster a weak smile as he looks up at me, his trust in me providing a small measure of solace.

"Can we get yogurt?" he asks, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes.

"Of course, sweetheart," I reply, my heart warming at his simple request. I take a moment to look around my car, the very vehicle that has transported us through so many ups and downs, before climbing in and starting the engine.

As we embark on this seemingly ordinary trip to get yogurt, I find comfort in these moments of normalcy, cherishing the simplicity of sharing a treat with my son, even as the darkness of the recent threat lingers in the background. The journey ahead remains uncertain, but for now, I hold onto these small joys, hoping they will light our path through the shadows that surround us.

𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚝, 𝙸𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝟼:𝟹𝟽 𝙿.𝙼 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝟹𝟶𝚝𝚑 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾
[𝙿.𝙾.𝚅 𝚁𝙾𝚂𝙴]

As Jayden retreats to his room, a tangible sense of distance settles between us. He's upset with me, and I can't blame him. I won't let him see Jaxon, and it's tearing us apart. But how can I allow that when the danger looms so ominously around us? The tears well up in my eyes, the emotional weight of our separation becoming almost unbearable. I long for Jaxon, for his touch, his kiss, his arms wrapping around me to make me feel safe and loved.

I sit on the couch, the weight of our breakup pressing heavily on my chest. The tears begin to flow, and I can't stop them. The pain is excruciating, and I wish I could turn back time to the days when life was simpler, and I was blissfully unaware of Jaxon's dangerous profession. I wish I'd never witnessed any of it, so I could still be happy, and Jayden could have a father who genuinely cared and a husband who made me feel at home.

Curled up on the couch, my head resting against my knees, I cry for the life I had before everything changed. I cry for the love I lost, the dreams that shattered, and the security that crumbled. The weight of it all is overwhelming, and the pain feels insurmountable.

"I need him," I whisper through my tears, my voice barely audible, as if a desperate plea to the universe. I yearn for a resolution, a way to escape this nightmare and find the happiness that once seemed within reach. But the path ahead remains shrouded in uncertainty, and all I can do for now is surrender to the tears and hope that someday the pain will ease, and our family will find a way back to the happiness we once shared.

𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚝, 𝙸𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝟹:𝟻𝟼 𝙰.𝙼 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝟹𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾
[𝙿.𝙾.𝚅 𝚁𝙾𝚂𝙴]

I snap up from my unsettling dreams, my heart racing, my thoughts filled with visions of Jaxon. In these dreams, he's a different man, filled with pain and anger, bearing emotions I've never seen in him before. It's as if he's been stripped of all feeling, a heartless figure, and my reflection in his eyes is the only thing I see. The emotions that flicker in his gaze are void of any warmth or recognition. It's a sight I can't forget.

I run a trembling hand through my hair, the remnants of the dream still haunting my thoughts. Tears spill over, coursing down my cheeks, as I rub my stomach with my free hand, a silent apology to the life growing within me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice quivering with remorse. "I'm sorry I can't be the good mother you and Jayden deserve. But how can I let you two be in danger for my own feelings?" I continue, my voice filled with a mix of sadness and frustration.

The truth is, Jaxon won't leave the life he's built for himself, and I know it all too well. The realization hits me like a physical blow, and the pain is almost unbearable. Knowing that we can never be together again, that the family I had cherished is fractured beyond repair, leaves me with an ache in my chest that seems impossible to heal.

The weight of the situation presses down on me, and it's difficult to see a way forward. I'm trapped between my love for Jaxon and the need to protect my son, and it's a painful predicament with no easy answers. The tears continue to flow, each one a testament to the emotional turmoil that envelops me, leaving me feeling utterly lost.