This is the Halloween and birthday post you get.
A DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN AND NEARLY AN ENTIRE MONTH OF PROCRASTINATION PLUS A BUNCH OF BIRTHDAYS I PRESENT TO You WHATEVER THIS IS
Maine: you dress like it's the 90's
Britain: I won't take that as an insult
Maine: the 1790's
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West Virginia: MY PINKY HURTS BECAUSE A BUG BIT IT
West Virginia: NO ONE GETS BUG BITES ON THEIR FINGERS
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Germany: shut up
Poland: make me
Germany: alright *leans in*
Germany: *smacks duct tape across Poland's mouth and shoves him in a body bag*
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Kentucky: Thine octopus
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Delaware: FUCK
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California: buckle your seat belts mother fuckers, because in eight short pages I'm going to learn you a thing that I only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza-
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Louisiana: a little bit of Monica in my life
Ohio: a little bit of Erica but my side
Massachusetts: you messed up, start over
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Florida: GUYS!
Florida: the 80's are back!
Florida: star wars, high waisted jeans, over sized sweaters, flannels, horrible republican government, conflict with Russia, the ever impending threat of Nuclear Anihilation, srunchies-
Oklahoma: synthpop, bomber jackets, a tyrannical mad woman runs the UK, incompetent child runs the US, the entire world's in an economic crisis, doctor who
Missouri: is this we didn't start the fire?
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Oklahoma: hey, what does LEL stand for?
Alabama: licking everyone's locker
Oklahoma: ok
Oklahoma: wait
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Tennessee: hey there, lamp post
Montana: huh
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Alabama: sentient tree
Arizona: nope, I'm not taking your shit today
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Rhode Island: Venti Carmel Frappuccino
New Jersey: are-are you talking to me?
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Georgia: Heya, extra long baguette
Netherlands: for the last time I'M NOT FRANCE
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Texas: Microphone stand, how's it g-
Alaska:
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Russia: my mom got mad at me because I cut myself with the scissors I bought from Walmart
Russia: its not my fault they were out of razors!
Russia: can't cut my life into peices with these saftey sisors!
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California: notice how all of humanity has just gone downhill since they declared that Pluto was not a planet
New York: #wrath of Pluto
Oklahoma: Actually, Pluto was the Roman's name for Hades. They named a planet after a God of the dead then revoked its planetary status and thought everything would be okay. You fools
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Nevada: the fact that there are animals who can see colors which I can't means there are colors that exist that is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that I wanna rip open a couch and eat it.
Idaho: humans have three types of rods for processing color. Mantis Shrimp have 16
California: Fucking shrimp. I will NOT be jealous of food.
New York: that's not food. That's tiny shrimp bullet that can break through aquarium glass
California: *the more you know*
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
The states!
Hài hướcBasically just Usa's States. Its uhhhhhhhh lil' skits. It DOES have some RusAme that Alaska did not sign up for. Annnd thats about it. I think I should rename this "America's Shits" or something like that Haha, coming up with a better description. ...
