Chapter 4 - Safe Travels Before the Slaughter

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After the Lancelot-Cora revelation, we were all anxious to get back to the safe haven, but we also weren't eager to make camp out in the woods. We decided to find a safe place somewhere in the ruins of the castle and camp for the night, not worrying about a fire or Cora coming back. As long as we outnumbered her she wouldn't make another move against us, for that we were quite certain. 

We all placed our bed rolls - kind of like a sleeping bag combined with a yoga mat - around the room we had chosen while Mulan started up a fire and Snow gathered some water from the kitchens where a fresh spring fed running water through the castle even after the Dark Curse. 

Emma and I had a chance to talk as we searched for blankets where Snow had directed us. She asked if I had gotten a chance to talk to Mary Margaret yet and I told her no, I was content leaving things where they were at for now, hoping that the walk to the safe haven tomorrow would give us time to chat a bit. I asked about her and Snow's chat back in our nursery, what she thought of everything, and she admitted that seeing it in Henry's book versus actually entering the room itself was very disconcerting. But to see how much our parents wanted her - us, she had amended, quickly meeting my eyes with an unspoken apology but I just waved her off, understanding what she meant - how much they gave up, well, it made it easier, made her want to try and open up more, tear down some of her walls and start letting them in. She then admitted that I seemed to be able to kick right through her walls and she found herself opening up to me and not even realizing she was doing it until after it happened. I bumped her shoulder and made a joke about the powers of twins.  

We found blankets for everyone and went back to the warm light of the fire, finding Snow sitting next to the fire with Mulan and Aurora. We handed out blankets to the other women and found our own spots, accepting the water from Snow. 

As everyone began to settle in for the night, Snow and I agreed on trading watches so Emma, Aurora, and Mulan could get some sleep, my racing thoughts making sleep a non-option, and the desire to do something useful flaring up in me. I took the time to ask Snow about our home, the castle we were currently in, about her life here, and open up to her just a bit - not about feeling like my birth, my life, was a mistake - but about the last couple years and what put me on my search to find them. 

Before I knew it the sun was rising and we woke everyone up, setting out to the safe haven after packing up the bed rolls, the blankets, and several canisters and canteens of the crisp, cold water that flowed here. 

As we made our way back to tell everyone about the fate of Lancelot and the danger Cora faced - not to mention the fact that she had magic - and found our trek back a lot less treacherous, now that Emma was following Snow's lead. The walk was actually pretty enjoyable, like a hike through Storybrooke's forest. We chatted quietly as we walked, that familiar sense of ease falling back into place between Emma, Snow, and me. 

I had a few different chances to talk with Snow - my mom - about me, but let each moment slip me by, still not able to find the right words to say to her. I wanted to tell everyone about my past, my childhood, and how it was for me growing up, but I didn't want them to feel more guilty than I knew they already felt, or detract from the traumas that Emma went through growing up with nobody and nothing. We walked all day, making excellent time and getting to the peninsula that led to the island before dusk. 

We were discussing the right approach to tell the people of Lancelot's fate when we came across the most gruesome scene I had ever seen in my life, making the dead ogre pale in comparison.

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