Devotion

Chapter 8 - Shame

     I told Malik that I wasn't feeling good and ended up leaving early. After the bombshell that was dropped on me tonight, I couldn't possibly try and go mingle with customers.

After Choso said I meant nothing to him he stormed out leaving me standing there with mixed emotions. I knew he didn't like me, but to that extent? As much as I hate him, I also feel a tad hurt from his words.

And Leo? Well he can just go to hell.

I stopped at the store and grabbed some comfort snacks consisting of ice cream, instant ramen and chips and dip. Odd combo, but it works for me.

Pulling into my complex driveway, I mindlessly grab my bags and head to the front entrance when I notice a van that looked similar to the one those guys pulled up to me in on the night my tire was slashed.

"Hmm, it's probably nothing." I mumble to myself and continue inside.

Getting in my apartment I take a quick shower before snuggling onto my couch with my many pillows and blankets. Setting my snacks out, I put on my favorite tv show and let my mind get sucked away from the reality I was living in.

••••

  2 hours later I'm still in the same spot laughing my ass off at the tv show, all of my food only half gone since I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to finish first.

Once again, I hear someone banging on my door. Sighing, I pause the tv and stomp over opening it to see exactly who I expected it to be.

"Choso you have your own apartment, get lost." I say irritated.

"Did you tell Leo where you lived?" He asks right out the gate.

"No... why?"

"That's interesting... because you're never going to guess who I just saw." He says as he slowly steps to me.

I gulp and take a step back. "Who?"

"The guys who tried taking you y/n. And after a bit of... persuasion, they told me that their boss, Leo, sent them to watch you." He stops in front of me. "And how do you think Leo knew where you lived at?"

This time, I keep my mouth shut.

"Because he picked you up for a date, apparently. So, tell me the truth this time y/n."

I take a few steps back and lean against the couch, all while trying to slow my rapid heart rate as he continues to stare at me.

"Okay fine. He picked me up from here earlier for a date, I'm sorry I lied but I didn't want to deal with your angry outbursts you seem to be having lately, it's annoying." I say crossing my arms.

His eyes go dark as his chest starts heave. "You know, you can be real dense sometimes. All anyone has been telling me is that 'miss fucking perfect y/n doesn't date', and yet you're going out with a fucking gang member? Can you not use your head?" He snarls.

"I didn't know he was a gang member at the time for one and for two what does it matter who I go out with? Last I check you didn't give a damn about me, so why should you care?" I yell at him.

"I don't care, but you're now getting involved with my personal life and it's annoying." He spits. "I don't care who you see, just not him."

"That's funny, because even though he's a gang member I still liked him a lot," I lie through my teeth just to piss him off. "Also you have no authority to tell me what to do. If I want to see him I will, if I want to fuck him, I will."

His eyes go wide with anger and he reaches out grabbing my throat instantly.  "Oh you want to fuck him now, is that it?"

"What the fuck are you jealous or som-" I'm cut off as he squeezes tighter, he leans in closer to me and I could almost see flames in his eyes from how angry he is.

Why?

His face is so close to mine I can feel his loose stray hairs brushing against my face, as much as I try I can't ignore the heat pooling in my core from how scary he looks right now, but also how much of a turn on this is.

I seem to have fucking problems.

"Jealous... that's funny." He says dryly.

His purple eyes look down and then back up to my eyes when his features twist in confusion. "Are you fucking liking this right now y/n?"

Instantly I feel shame burn at me as tears spill down onto his hand. "If you're going to kink shame then I suggest you get away from me you ass!" I croak out as I try to claw at his hand.

Choso lets go and I push him away from me as he continues to look at me with slight confusion, making me feel even worse.

"Get out, I don't want to see you here ever again." I say quietly looking away.

Without another word he walks out, slamming the door behind him. I take a second to process what just happened before I fall to the couch and let the tears fall.

How dare he make me feel bad for something so touchy like a kink? I've never felt embarrassed about it before, but his expression makes me want to crawl in a hole and disappear.

Damn him.

______