I'm hurt, but not weak

Part 1

>Rubinas POV<

I look one more time in my old room,one last look in my old life. Then I take a step back and close the door. I should be excited, anyway it is the day I go to hogwarts. But I am not. I don't want to go to hogwarts, but I also don't want to stay here, in the house of my Father. Here is too many pain, but would it be better in hogwarts? I mean there are people I thought I will never ever see again, and it hurts, it hurts so much when I think about them. The steps queak under my feet as I go downstairs to the others. I turn left into the eatingroom and see Harry hugging my father. I feel a painful stab in my stomach, but I ignore it, like I always do. Just smile. I go to Mollie and Arthur Weasly and hug them to say good bye. These 2 were always like my parent substitute. Because my father was in askaban til I got 10. I was excited to finally meet him, but... he never really liked me and my twinbrother. It hurts sometimes to see how much he loves and cares about harry, but that is okey I learned how to deal with it. I say goodbye to Remus and Tonks. And than I stand infront of Sirius, my Father. "Bye" I say. "Bye" He says and turns away. Thats it, no more, no less. He will never hug me like Harry or say he would miss me and I should accept that. The others are already outside in the taxi that Arthur rented for us. We drive to the trainstation. As we are there we run throw the wall, that brings us to Track 9¾. We get into the train and sit down in a free compartment. I sit by the window and next to me is Ginny. Harry and Ron are on the opposite of us, Hermine sits next to Ginny. They are talking about something, I don't really know about what because I don't listen, while I look out of the window. I look hovers over many faces, especially parents. When my gaze stops on one person. He gots white hair like his Father, his eyes are grey-blue. I can't see them, but I know it because I see them every day in the picture from when we were children. I knew I would see him in Hogwarts, but it still hurts. Draco says goodbye to Lucius and Narcissa. Next to him I can see one other guy and a girl. They zurn around and go towards the door that leads into the train. Draco looks to the ground and then he looks up. Draco looks me straight in the eyes. He stops abruptly and stares at me as if he never expected to see me again. I don't know how he found me the second he looked up but somehow he did. And I hate him for that. My eyes fill with tears, because the pain comes up agian that he left inside of me. He notices that. I see it in his eyes. Suddenly he jerks his head to the other side, breaking our eye contact. He says something to someone I can't see. Probably to one of his friends. He looks in my direction one more time and then he leaves. Shit, come on Rubina hold your fucking tears back. You are not alone. I am startled and flinch when Ginny says loud: "OMG! I am so excited that you are here, Rubi!" I look at her and smile. "Yeah me too." I lie. "Are you okey, Rubi? You look a little depressed?" Harry means. "No I am good, I am just a little bit nervous" "Oh okey. But you don't have to be, everyone there is really kind" Harry says. After that Ron means "Except of Snape and the slitherins" "Ron!" Hermione scolds. "What? Just the truth" Ron shrugs his shoulders. The train begins to move and we drive to Hogwarts.