I'm hurt, but not weak

Part 18

>Mattheos POV<

"Sooo?" Theo asks, while we are on the way to our first class. "So what?" I ask him back. "I am talking about Rubi. Did you talk with her yesterday?" after he says her name, I can't help but smile. It just happens, I can't stop it. I can't even stop. He notice it and smiles. "I guess that means that you did talk with her, am I right?" "Maybe." I say. "Did you..." Theo begins, but gets interrupted by a high-pitched squeaky voice that screams "Mattheo."  Oh no... I was so happy thinking this is over... I turn around and see Cleo running towards me. She stops infront of me. "Heyyy, Matty." she says. I could throw up when I hear this nickname. "What do you want?" I ask her. "Nothing..." She raises her hand and plays with my hair "I just wanted to ask you if you want to come to my dorm today?" She gives me the sweetest smile she can do. It's just a shame that this smile leaves me cold. She tries it again and again. Cleo just doesn't understand that we broke up 6 months ago. She just don't want to understand that I don't want anything from her. I never wanted to either. The only reason I was with her was because neither of us wanted anything permanent. We just had sex, feelings were never involved. At least not for me. I grab her arm and push it away so she finally stops playing with my hair. "Why don't you understand, that the thing of us is over?" I say. "Because I know that it isn't true, Matty. I know that you still love me." I roll my eyes and walk away without another word. Theo goes next to me. "She still does that?" he asks then. "Yep" I answer. Our first lesson is poison, and somehow I am a little bit exciting. Okey, maybe I'm just happy to be able to work with Rubi. When we arrive at the classroom, I see Rubi in her seat, which is right next to mine. Our eyes meet, her lips begin to smile and also the corners of my mouth lift slightly. I go to my seat and sit next to her. "Hi" she says. "Hey." "Long time no see." she says sarcastically. I need to smile. Slughorn explains to us which potion we have to brew today and then, as usually, Rubi begins to make the potion. And, actually, I should stay seated and do nothing, like usual, but today I get up and help her to brew the potion.

>Rubinas POV<

After Slughorn explained to us what we are brewing today, I went straight to work. Everything is as usual. Until the moment I notice, that the person next to me is making an effort to get up and even helps me to brew the potion. I stare at Mattheo, who is clumsy cutting some fruit, whose name I can't remember.
I have to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. So he probably won't be an Auror then... Shit, my thoughts don't really make it any better. A short laugh comes out of my mouth that shouldn't have slipped out. Mattheo's head snaps towards me and his look finishes me off. I can no longer hold back my laughter and it bursts out of me. Mattheo looks at me with a raised eyebrow. But his lips are smiling. "What?" he asks. It takes me a few seconds to answer him because I just couldn't stop laughing. "Nothing, just... give the fruit to me, come on. I'll show you how to cut it." I say still smiling. He gives me the fruit and our fingers touch for a millisecond. "So, you first have to cut it in half, then take one half and cut it like this..." I give him a quick look, only to find out that he's not looking at the fruit but at me. My heart starts beating faster, just because he looks at me. Stop looking at me like this, Mattheo. I say in my mind because I know that he can see it. "Pay attention at this, Riddle." I say then. He rolls his eyes and takes the other half of the fruit that I did not cut already. "So I have to cut it like this, and then?" he says. I roll my eyes, while smiling. Then I teach him how to cut the fruit. Its just silly even thinking about that Mattheo Riddle can't even cut a dumb fruit, but its true. And for some stupid reason, I think it's sweet.
When the lesson over, we go out on the corridore which is filled with students. "You see, it wasn't that bad at all." I say to Mattheo. "What?" He responds. "To help me brew the poision." I mean. "Let me put it this way:" he begins "it was not the worst hour of my life." Mattheo lays a arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him. I need to smile. "Wow, you are having a good day today, huh?" "How did you come to this?" he just says. "Hmm," I pretend to think, "I don't know, you helped me doing the poision and made me a compliment. What's the reason for it?" He smiles and says then: "The reason is talking to me right now." And my stupid heart just begins to beat 4 times faster then usual. "You know that literally everyone is stareing at us?" I say after a while.  "Yes, and?" he responds. "Oh, nothing I just thought that your father should not find out?" "How would he find something out, that doesn't even exist?" Oh, so he wants to play this game? Okey, he can get it. "I was not the one who told me in the middle of the night that he loves me." I mean. "Oh really? Okey fine. At least I didn't just storm out of my dorm after I couldn't come to terms with the idea that I'm in love with Mattheo Riddle. And I didn't make up a lie like I need to help Draco with his homework" I roll my eyes, while I feel how my face becomes red. "Okey, you know what? Fuck you Mattheo. How the hell should've I known that you can read minds?" I try to overplay it. I just hope that he won't notic it. "At least I don't turn red every damn second I talk with you."  Urgh... "I repeat it: Fuck you Mattheo, really." I say. We go to our next class, and when we are there our friends are waiting for us infront of the classroom. "Do you think they would notice that we don't hate each other anymore?" Mattheo wispers to me and I can hear that he is smiling. "Hm, nah I don't think it is that obvious." I say sarcastically, and then I point with my eyes at his arm that is still around my shoulders. He begins to laugh. "I know how it will end, Mattheo. In some days we will already be gossip number 1 on this school." I wisper, because our friends would hear it if I say it in a normal foice. When we get to them, they all look at us confused. "Hey." I say as if everything is normal. "Does anyone have the homework to copy? I didn't make them." It takes a few seconds until someone finally answers my question. "Sure." Pansy says and gives me the homework. "Thank you." I says. "Wtf." comes from Blaise. "What?" I ask. "Since when the hell are you friends." I think with this sentence he says that, what everyone is thinking. I already breath in to explain, but Mattheo says it at first. "Well, I would not say we are friends, we just don't hate each other anymore" he says and shrugs his shoulders. Mhm, right Mattheo we are just friends... it is not like you said that you love me yesterday, No... I think sarcastically. I know that he saw what I thought and as I look at him, he rolls his eyes. The others are already engrossed in another conversation and go into the classroom. Me and Mattheo do the same. The day goes by quickly and the detention with Snape isn't as bad as I expected. Basically everything is the same as always, and yet it is so much different than before. But somehow in a better way.