I'm hurt, but not weak

Part 10

<Mattheos POV>

Me and Tom are on the way to the slitherin common room. "We need to tell her one day" Tom is taking up the topic again. It's just annoying. "Yes, we tell her when Father attacks Hogwarts" I say. "Mattheo, you know it's not working like that. Father wants her on his side, so he sended us to make Friends with her, and then... you know the Plan." Yes I know it. "You know that she won't get on his side. And she is safer when she don't know that we are." "You know that we are not, not really." I don't answer him. Tom is right, we are not on Fathers side. I mean yes we have the mark, but we know that, when he wins, the world will go down. All of us know it. I see a white lightning out of the corner of my eye, it's only very brief, when I want to look at Tom he's gone. What the hell. I look around me, but I cant see anything. One moment later I am in a dark room. Someone pushes me on a thing that feels like a chair, then I can feel that someone tie my legs and my hands on the chair. What the fuck is going on? It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. When I can finally see something in the darkness, I notice Tom sitting in another chair next to me. "Guys?" I hear a sob. "What is going on?" I know this foice, why do I know this foice? Omg... "Pansy?" "Yes?" Her foice is shaking. She is crying. "Is someone else here?" I ask. I hear a deeper voice "Yes, me" It takes me a while to recognize the voice. It is Reggie. Shit. "Do you know where we are?" Pansy asks. Her voice is full of fear. I look around, I don't know. I never saw this before. "No" "We are going to die" Pansy is sobbing. "What?!" Tom, Regulus and me are saying that at the same time. "No we are not going to die, okey? Theo, Draco, Enzo and the others will find us. They'll probably notice that we're gone." Tom trys to calm her down. Another voice now sounds. "I would not be so sure about that. Your Friends think that you are in the slitherin common room" "What?" Tom asks. "Let's put it this way, you've been replaced by other people." It takes me a while to understand what he means. Polyjuice potion. Fuck! "Who are you?" Reggie asks. "Oh, should I take it personal that my own son don't know me?" Sirius. Okey maybe we are actually going to die. No think positive Mattheo. Your friends will know that the person pretanding to be you, isn't you. I mean they are your friends right? "What do you want from us?" "Isn't it obvious?I want Informations from you. That brings me right to the reason why you are here." He comes towards me. "Mattheo, right?" I say nothing. He hits me into my face, few seconds later I feel something running down over my lips. Urgh again a broken nose. "It is better if you speak" he says with threat in his voice. I raise my chin defiantly. "What do you want me to say? That I always wanted to meet you? Sorry, but a few weeks ago I didn't even know you existed." He grins. Shit not good. He takes out his wand, he mutters a spell that I don't know. Suddenly a flame can be seen at the tip of the wand. "What? Do you want to burn me?" I say defiantly. "You will still wish that" He holds the flame to my left forearm. Fuck! I clench my teeth so hard it hurts. Shit! Why the hell is this hurting so much? 13, 14, 15, seconds. "Fuck!" I scream in pain. "Stop!" I hear Tom screaming. "What do you want to know?" Sirius looks at Tom, then the flame goes out. I breathe out with relief. The burning is still there, but it's not as bad anymore. Sirius is now standing in front of Tom, shit, what is Tom up to. "At least there is someone here who understands how it works." He takes a short break. "Okey, then. What is he planning?" Sirius looks at us expectantly. "We don't know it." means Tom, and he is right, our father don't let us know what he is planning. Sirius casts the same spell again, only this time he holds the wand on Tom's arm. "Stop, please!" I hear Pansy sobbing. "It is the truth, we don't know it!" Sirius stops. I hear Pansy crying. Sirius turns to her."Stop crying or I'll make you to" I can't hear her anymore, but tears still run down her face. Sirius doesn't seem to be satisfied with that. He goes to her now and do the same thing he did with us, by her. I can hear her screaming. Sirius stops as he hears something, on the other side of the door. There are voices, two who sound like men, but there is another one, a higher one. It is a Women. "Looks like someone is comeing, to help us." Tom say. My body is filled with hope. Sirius just laughs. He goes to the Door and opens it. My hope disappears when I see a woman with purple hair. She gives him a few small bottles with blue liquids in them. Omg. Is this Poison? The purple hair women goes and sirius closes the door. Now we are alone. Again. Fuck! "So, which one of you would like to test it?" It's quiet. Sirius looks at everyone. "Noone? Sad... Okey then who got not hurt today? Regulus! You will try this." What no. No,no,no. I don't know what this is, maybe he is going to die. Rubi won't can get through this. The same by Pansy and Tom. I don't know Rubi really well, but I know that she got hurt. I saw her scars and wounds in one of the poison classes. So no, Reggie won't drink this. There is only one Person she hates and that is me, so I need to drink it. Sirius stands infront of Reggie now, he has opened the bottle nearly. "Wait, I drink it." I can feel how everyones eyes look at me now. And 3 pairs of them are asking "What the hell are you doing" I don't know. Sirius says nothing and comes to me. "You want to drink it?" Honestly, no. But I can't do this to Rubi so I say the exact other thing. "Yes" He opens the bottle. "Fine you can drink it, but I warn you, it will hurt, if it works." O god... "I can handle that" I reply. " What the hell Mattheo, what are you doing?" I hear Toms voice. I ignore it. A few seconds later, I drink it. It tastes sweet but also sour, I don't know how I should discribe it. My throat starts to hurt. FUCK! It hurts so fucking much. What the hell is this?! As I finally drank the whole bottle empty, Sirius puts the bottle down from my mouth and looks at me expectantly. I cough and notice that I taste blood. What the hell?! I see that I cough blood. Fuck, it feels like my throat burns. My thaughts get interrupt by the door that gets open. And this time I see someone I know. Rubi stands there, behind her I can see Theo and Blaise. Omg I never thaught I would be so happy to see my friends. Sirius stands up and turns to Rubi around. He says her name and I didn't know that one word can contain so much disgust.
Sirius gets out the way so I can see her now, she scans me with her eyes. They remain droopy due to the burn. I don't let her out of my sight.
"Don't you like this sight? He is the son of you-know-who, isn't it beautiful to see him suffer? Like his father did it to all the Wizards?" Sirius says. He is right, my father did awful things, but is he better?
Rubi looks me in the eyes again. I try to ignore the pain in my throat, but I can't really manage it. I need your help. Screams my eyes. And I hope she understands it, even if I am not sure if she will help. I mean I don't really deserve her help, because I always make fun of her, but is she THAT cold hearted? By the way, has had she always that beautiful green eyes? Wait what? What the hell am I thinking about? I break the eye contact by coughing blood on my lab. Fuck! I remember the pain in my throat, why the hell is it hurting so much? I hear Rubi saying something, but I don't understand it. Because I'm still struggling with the stabbing pain. As I look up I see that Blaise and Theo aren't behind Rubi anymore. Instead Sirius stands inftont of her, screaming something, I don't understand. What the hell did I drank? I notice movement next to me, I look there and see Theo opening Toms bonds. Then I notice that Pansy is hugging Blaise. What the hell? When did that happen? I look down as I sense something on my leg. I see Rubi opening my bonds. Wait what? What is with Sirius? I look there where he and his daughter stand a few seconds ago. He don't move. I notice that Theo, Blaise, Regulus, Pansy and Tom are going through the door. I am alone with Rubi now. Well indirectly, Sirius just can't move. "Rubi..." I caugh. I don't even know what I wanted to say, maybe, I just wanted, that she looks up to me. And I can get lost in her beautiful eyes again. She says something, I don't really understand it, but it hears like "Stop talking, you just make idlwarsegle" Yes, I know. Sorry, I don't understood the last words. She stands up and says "Maybe it hurts a little bit" I am not really sure, if she said that, but as she lays her soft hands on my neck, my first thaught is: "She will murder me" I see her rolling her eyes, "I don't want to kill you, okey? I just want to tridohalu" the last words I can't understand. I look up to her and notice that the pain in my throat fades slowly away. What the hell is she doing? I feel one stab in my throat that makes me cringe and then all the pain is gone. I watch her as she places her soft hands on my right arm and heals the small burn there. As she finished there, she turns to my left arm with the large burn that still hurts like hell.I suddenly remember that she isn't allowed to see my tattoo that decorates my forearm. "Stop" I say "It don't really hurt" it is a lie. But I lie everyday so this lie gets easy over my lips. She looks at me with raised eyebrows. She doesn't believe me. Why the hell does she not believe me? "I don't care." She says and begins to open my bond on my left arm. No, no, no. "Rubi I said you don't need to do this, it is not that bad..." I suck my breath in, because her finger lightly strokes the wound.
"I know it don't hurt" she says, then Rubi lays her hands on the wound. First it hurts, then I can feel how the pain fades away. She turns my arm around and her eyes wides as she can see my mark. Fuck... "What is..." she stops in the middle of the sentence. She knows what that means. Rubi looks at me, her eyes wide open. I pull my arm back, "What did you expected he is my father." I snap at her. "I know...I just...I mean..." she stutters to herself, overwhelmed. "How about that, you try to make a sentence?" God! Why am I like that? Her eyes become expressionless and are suddenly the same as they always are when she talks to me. Distancing, cold, unfeeling. And I hate that look, fuck I hate it so, so much! Why does everyone hates me? Really Mattheo? How silly are you? Why should they like you? You are mean, angry, distancing, cold. You got every bad character trait, and you still ask yourself why everyone hates you?
"How about that you shut your fucking mouth only one fucking time?" She says angry. "I fucking helped you! I healed you! Even though I don't like you, even though you annoy me all the time and even though you are mean to me. Couldn't you be only one time kind to me? I don't even know why you hate me so so much and if I did something to you that makes you hate me, I am sorry, okey?!" Rubi is right, I should be kind to her, I should be thankful that she helped me, but the truth is I am. I just don't know how to show that. I am not Tom, for him it is easy to talk about his fealings, but for me, it is the hell. "And now stand up, we need to..." she is breaking off and fluctuates. What is going on? "Hey, you are good?" I ask her. She don't answers. "Rubi, are you good?" I ask again, just a little louder. More worried. Why am I so fucking worried? Now she finally answers. "Yes, it's just... I feel a little... dizzy." She's swaying more now. I don't know what came over me that made me jump up and put my hands on her hips to support her. I look her in her eyes. In this beautiful green eyes. I want to get lost in it, but I can't, not when I know that she don't feels good. Only a few centimeters semperate us so that we don't touch each other. "You need something to drink, come on" I pick her up, so that I carry her on my hands. Her fingers dig into my t-shirt. I go. I still don't know where we are, but as I get out of the dark room, i can see walls that I know. We are in hogwarts. Thank god! "I am fine. I can go by myself." she says tierd. "Oh really? If I remember correctly you almost fell over." "Fuck you, Riddle." I don't know why, but I laugh. At one point her eyes close, and her head falls against my chest. I look down to her, fuck, why the hell looks she so sweet? Okey, Riddle enough. Stop that! But I can't and somewhere I don't care. I don't care as well that everyone looks at me and Rubi, when I pass them. The only thing I care about now, is Rubina Black. And that I need to bring her in her dorm. No matter what others thinks.
I. Don't. Care.