I'm hurt, but not weak

Part 9

We run through the corridores to get to the dungeons. "What is the plan?" Theo asks at one point. "If I am honest, I don't really know. But I know that Sirius is not a silly Person. I bet other People from the Order are there so take out your wands." "Do you know what they want?" "Informations. I guess. They want to know how high the danger is. If you know what I mean." I look at him. He nods. "Wait you know about the... Thing?" "Yes. I always listened in, on the meetings of the order." For some time it is quite between us, than Blaise asks: "Do you think they hurt them?" He asks worried. I know that he is thinking about Pansy. And I really want to say no, but that would be a lie. "I guess so... I mean Mattheo, Tom and Pansy won't give informations that easy so... yes propably." We go faster and I think I have a Plan now.

We are barely by the dungeons. "Quiet now" I wisper. As expected, Remus and Kingsley are standing in front of the door that leads to the dungeon. We hide behinde the wall. Than I try to disarm Kingsley. He rejects the spell easaly. Of course. I mean he is he, but he is actually doing exactly the thing I wanted. Because now I have their attention. I take a step forward so they can see me. They look at me, not knowing if they should attack me or not. "Hello guys" I smile. "Rubina?" "Exactly! I don't want to hurt you so if you are kind enough to go away from this door, so I can get to my friends?" "I'm sorry Rubina, but your "Friends" aren't good people." "Oh but you are? You know that Sirius is hurting them to get informations, right?" "Yes but we have to do this so that everyone is save." "So you won't go away?" They say nothing. I guess that is a no. "Okey then, I really wanted to do this without that someone gets hurt but..." I attack them. Theo and Blaise get out of the hide to help me. Theo attacks Remus and Blaise Kingsley.  "Come on Rubi freece them." Theo says strained. I do what he said. And a few minutes later both are not moveing. We run to the Door and lock it open with the alohomora spell. The door swings open and I see Sirius kneeling in front of Mattheo who sits on a chair. I look through the Room and notice that not only Mattheo, Tom and Pansy are sitting on a chair, but also Regulus. Sirius gets up and turns around. He looks at me as if I were the biggest scum on earth. And it shouldn't hurt because he always looks at me like that, but it is still hurting. "Rubina." He moves out of the way so I can see Mattheo. I see burns on his arms and blood dripping from his nose. I look at sirius as he says somthing. "Don't you like this sight? He is the son of you-know-who isn't it beautiful to see him suffer? Like his Father did it to all the Wizards?" When I look at Mattheo again, he looks into my eyes. And I see pain in them. Not only, he is looking at me like he wants my help but he knows that I won't help him, and maybe I see that he thinks that he deserves this. Because I know this view from myself, I always see it when I stand infront the mirror. Yeah I hate him but he don't deserves this. Noone do.
Mattheo breaks eye contact by coughing blood onto his lap. "Fuck you" I punch Sirius in the face. He staggers back a little, but quickly catches himself again. He comes towards me, on his face is only one feeling. Hate. "If I would've been you, I wouldn't do that. I gave you a home where you could stay and that is the way you say thank you?! You bring shame on our entire family! These People aren't good, Rubina! They are the villains, not me!" Nice! The plan is working, he don't notice that Theo and Blaise free our friends from their bonds. Sirius pushes me so I fall to the ground. "In my story you are the villain." Sirius wants to hit me but I put the same curse on him as on the others he can't move anymore. Pansy hugs Blaise immediatly he opened her bonds. Theo opens Toms, he already opened that ones from Reggie. Some seconds I look at Reggie worried, he looks me into my eyes, then he looks to the floor. Not ashamed, more like he can't look at me. Did I do something? I want to go to him talk with him, but a cough reminds me that now is not the right time. I go to Mattheo and try to open the first bond which wraps around his left leg and the chair. "You couldn't freece him already?" Theo asks. "Of course I could've, but like that it was more fun". Theo smurks.
As he finished by Tom too, I look at him and say:"Go ahead, we'll come later. I don't know how long I can freeze all three" Theo and Blaise make their way to the common room with Regulus, Pansy and Tom. Thank god that it is not far away and not much people can see them. "Rubi..." Mattheo gets interrupt by his own cough. His voice is rough. I look up to him. "Stop talking, you're just making it worse" I say. Wait. I suddenly remember an old spell that could heal him a little. I stand up. "Maybe it hurts a little bit" I say grinning. He looks at me confused. I lay my Hands on his neck, his eyes wides. I roll my eyes. "I don't want to kill you, okey? I just try to heal you." He watches me while I help him. First his neck, then his right arm. As I want to heal the burns on his left arm, he says:"Stop, they don't really hurt." I look at him with raised eyebrows. These burns are deep and need to hurt a lot. "I don't care." I say. I open the bond which ties him on the armrest. "Rubi, I said you don't need to do this, it isn't that bad..." He sucks in his breath in pain as I lightly glide my finger over the burn. "Yeah I know it don't hurt" I lay down my hands on the wound. He sucks in his breath through his teeth. The big red wound heals. Then I turn his arm around to look if he is hurt there too, but the only thing I can see is a black mark decorating his arm. "What is..." I stop as I recognize it. I look at him with eyes wide open. He pulls his arm back. "What did you expected he is my Father." he snaps at me. He is right, what did I expected? It should've been obvious. "I know... I just... I mean..." I stutter, not knowing what to say. "How about that, you try to make a sentence?"he says. Urgh! Why did I heal his neck first? Why did I heal him at all?!  "How about that, you shut your fucking mouth only one time?" I say with anger in my foice back. He rises one of his eyebrows. That makes me just more angry "I fucking helped you! I healed you! Even though I don't like you, even though you annoy me all the time and even though you are mean to me. Couldn't you only one time be kind to me? I don't even know why you hate me so so much, and if I did something to you that makes you hate me. I am sorry, okey?!" I take a breath. Okey don't freak out, Rubi. Mattheo just looks at me. I can't see even one emotion. My eyes went to his lips, but immediatly again to his eyes. Okey...? What the hell was that?! I turn around. "And now stand up, we need to..." I'm breaking off, because I am feeling dizzy. Shit. Fuck! My head hurts. "Hey, you are okey?" Mattheo asks. I close my eyes for some seconds. But as I open them again, it is worse. "Rubi, are you good?" He says a little louder now. And what is this? Is there worry in his voice? "Yes, it's just... I feel a little... dizzy"  Mattheo stands up, and goes infront of me so that I look him in the eyes again. In those beautiful eyes... I waver, he lays his hands on my hip to help me not to fall to the ground. His grip is firm but doesn't hurt. Only a few centimeters separate us so we don't touch each other. He looks me in my eyes, I get lost in his. Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me today?! "You need to drink something, come on." His foice is softer than usual when he talks to me. As if I have no weight, he lifts me up. I grap with my fingers in his T-shirt. He carries me in his hands. "I am fine. I can go by myself" I say tierd. "Oh really? If I remember correctly, you almost fell over." "Fuck you, Riddle." I can feel his chest vibrating as he laughs. Suddenly something starts to flutter in my stomach. This sound, this feeling, I want more from it. I can't tear my eyes away from him. He looks beautiful. My head falls against his shoulder as I fall asleep.