butterflies // rubberdoop - razzaross

/duo

/Ross

Have you ever felt so happy that you forget all sadness, whether it be with your girlfriend or boyfriend or friends? That's how Ross felt; alive. He wasn't hunched over crying, he was smiling and laughing and yelling along to songs that they played. It didn't bother him that his throat was giving away, or that he seemed so drunk, what mattered to him was having fun. He was playing games and jamming away to the music as Dan and Arin sang some Starbomb or Ninja Sex Party. One thing was certain, though. He wasn't moping over Holly. He wasn't crying over being alone. He was being himself.

"Hey Ross!" Arin yelled, turning down the music and clearing his throat. Daniel still mumbled some lyrics before fully quieting his voice. "How you feelin' buddy?" Ross shrugged in reply, a smile spreading across his face. "I guess..okay?" His glance averted to Barry and Suzy talking and mumbling while they would sometimes stare at Ross. It made his heart ache, as he felt they were talking about Holly. However, something told him it wasn't just because they were talking, but, Barry was close to Suzy, like him and Holly used to be. He groaned in agony and his hands began shaking, causing the rest of them to stop whatever they were doing and comfort.

Ross didn't need it; he pushed them all away and isolated himself. "I don't need to be treated like a fucking baby. I can live on my own, even if I don't have Holly. Hell, even if you guys weren't here I'd be fine." He stared at Barry, who was shocked at what he had sputtered. His stare softened as he stared at the ground and felt heart ache. He just hoped it was because of Holly, the bright and smiling girl, and not Barry's sad eyes. Why just Barry, though? Why couldn't it have been Daniel or Arin or even Suzy? His eyes just so happened to just grab Barry's as an impulse.

"Barry..can you take me home..? I don't feel good.." He held his stomach and clutched his side, still looking away. As Barry began to speak, Daniel spoke up. "I'll take you home. I need to talk to you, anyways." Ross shot his eyes at Daniel and shook his head, not wanting to go with his crush, and have to talk to them. His stomach just pulled the knot tighter, making his breathing heavy. "Come on." Daniel put his arm around Ross and began walking him, Ross' feet slowly catching up to the pace. Arin then turned to Barry and shrugged.

All the while they walked, Ross just wanted to see Barry and hear his voice. He had no idea why, maybe it was because he could always trust him and how soft his voice was. His stomach kept doing backflips until Daniel spoke up. "So, I know you like me and all that jazz, and I don't like you, it's pretty obvious who I like, but, I just didn't want you to just get sad over it. So that's why I'm telling you. I don't like you that way, I mean sure, I am the Danny Sexbang, but you can always find someone else. Like uh..maybe..Arin? No, he's mine, back off." He stopped and laughed, staring at Ross who was still hung close next to Daniel.

"Maybe Barry? He's kinda cute I guess. Oh, or maybe Dodger! No.." Ross jumped at the mention of Barry's name and smiled. "Um, thanks Dan for walking me home, ahah..Yeah, hopefully I'll find someone?" He waved at Daniel, hoping to God that he would leave and let his stomach rest. Once Daniel turned around, he booked it inside and locked his door. Resting his back against the door, he saw the ground start to spin. "Why do you do this to me, body?"

He went to his bedroom and laid on his back, arms over his stomach and groaning in pain. "I don't like Daniel anymore, so why would he even do that? I know who I like and who I don't." He sighed, taking his phone and unlocking it. Seeing nothing, he began to shiver and feel cold, as if the house was trapped in ice. "S-S-Shit!" He got under the covers and felt warm, sighing and staring at the ceiling. "I just need sleep, maybe.." He turned on his side and closed his eyes, almost falling asleep. Just a few more seconds before he drifts off and-

Ding!

He shot up angrily and yelled, "GOD DAMNIT!" and grabbed his phone. He rubbed his eye and stared at the screen before seeing the noise was just a stupid text from Barry. As he tossed the phone back on the nightstand, he soon grabbed it again and felt a little happy to see it was from Barry. Unlocking the phone, he decided to read it and saw he got 2 more besides the one.

>uh hey sorry i couldnt walk you home

>but im still here for you okay?

>have a nice night ross 

Ross smiled at them, knowing at least someone cared. His body felt better, calmer, and he felt a little bit tired. Placing the phone down, he fell back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling which was now darker than before. He fell asleep not too long after seeing those texts, and for some reason his mind was locked on just positive things he has. But, something scared him into being trapped in a nightmare.

He was sitting in a chair that had to be from the hospital, he was sure of it, but this time he couldn't see the body clearly. It was all blurred to him, but everything else in the room was crystal clear. He was curious, as the hair wasn't Holly's pink color. It was brown, but he could've been wrong. The door suddenly opened to see Arin, Danny, Barry, and Suzy. No Ross was seen. As he swallowed down the thought of him being in this bed, he could finally see it was him. Daniel went over and covered the body with the blankets, and soon they all laughed. Laughed and laughed at how Ross had just died. Anger shot through his body before he saw Barry was the only one not laughing at all. Dead silence came from Barry, and he wanted to just hug him and tell him he was alive.

He jumped, causing his body from slumber to shoot up in sweat. His body was shaking and he wiped his face in complete confusion. Was he dead? Is he going to die? He didn't want to know, all he wanted to know was that at least Barry cared.

Or..was he just another person who would laugh at him?

~~

an/ screams inside

this is sad i am sad i am going to go now 

-nik