Outskirts of Paanchaal, Battlefield Camps
"Sometimes I feel like keeping you with myself forever, son." The short spell of silence was broken by the quivering voice of my teacher, making me glance at him surprised yet absorbing the feeling of tranquility at his words. The fire was ablaze and it's crackling sound was coupled with the flames that lit up his visage.
My lips stretched into a lopsided smile, it's not the first time he had confessed so.
"I know I am selfish for this demand, but what to do tell me?" His forefinger and thumb began to massage his temples gently, "Seeing your face gives me the peace I have never experienced before..."
Peace, is what I too feel being with my preceptor.
"Suddenly I am feeling like being caught in a maze." He sat upon the nearby rock, as I strode towards him gently, breathing in, "That vigor and anger that was initially bubbling in my blood in the urge to thrash Drupad seems to be intermingling with streaks of uneasiness that I am unable to get past through."
His words were true, I had nothing to say even to pacify him because we both knew the truth.
"Are you regretting, Gurudev?" I breathed in, a gulp trickled down my throat.
"That's seems like the most difficult question in my life right now." He stated blankly, staring at the fire. The intensity of uneasiness within him was visible as he began to knock his knuckles on his forehead slowly, closing his eyes. Once again, there was a temporary cut to the thread that bound as a teacher and student, we were back to be humans. Two humans trapped in different webs.
"But you wanted it, didn't you?" My eyes relocated at his figurine.
"You said that it would be cowardice to bear injustice." He instantly responded, with a humorless smile. The way he always examines me was beyond my comprehension at times.
"That's what anyone superficially would say, Gurudev." I knew this wasn't the answer I was supposed to give, but right then my mind was far beyond thinking something logical as flashes from the battlefield was giving me waves of tremors, "Great price has to be paid for justice."
"Then? What should you look for, Anagha? Price or justice?" Gurudev's voice turned a bit hoarse and firm, as if he wanted me to answer it.
I was caught speechless for a while, as I gazed at him a bit blankly.
"I...."
Price or justice? Exactly, which one should someone look for? If we look at the price, justice will be ignored which again is unrighteous, and if we look at the justice, we have to lose a lot.
What to leave and what to choose?
"At that time, you easily said that one should strive for justice." Gurudev spoke up, exhaling after a short spell of silence, "Didn't you consider about the price?"
"I did, but-" My throat choked upon saliva, "I said it, didn't feel it."
"Everything was just floating in my mind that time, I didn't succumb to what is the reality, which today seems a way too harsh for me." The cool winds suddenly spread goosebumps on my skin, as I bit my lips.
"You cannot be in a bed of roses without being pricked by thorns, Arjun." I felt his calloused palm comforting upon my shoulder, "Justice and price, both weight equally on a balance scale. One can't achieve justice without sacrificing."
"But will someone's mind find peace achieving justice after sacrificing?" My mouth rolled out whatever was churning in my conscience.
"That depends on what you value more; justice or sacrifice."
His words bore gravity, yet wasn't able to wipe off that lingering uneasiness that burnished within me. I gazed down, silently tracing the garment my upper-garment, with brows furrowed.
"You aren't happy, aren't you?"
"Can killing make someone happy?" I wrapped my arm around my knees, my gaze relocating up at the countless stars that were shimmering unabashedly in the clear sky. But today, those number of stars were ruthlessly reminding me of the lives that were lost in this war.
"But you have chosen this life." He softly smiled, staring at me, "I made you into a warrior, a fine warrior Anagha. Fighting war, is your duty."
"And that doesn't include my personal feelings, isn't it Gurudev?" I sighed, glancing at him as his lips stretched into a half smile.
"Your questions really take me aback at times, Arjun." He shook his head, gazing down as he drew in a long breath, "You are perhaps the first student of mine to ever think this way. All my students, all my students run behind the fame of being recognized and perhaps having the most number of scars in war....but you, you want to dive in the depths of everything-"
Because I want to know.
I wish to seek answers. I wish to seek answers for every action we commit, why we commit.
I don't where these questions which aren't normal for anyone to ask comes up in my conscience, but I so wanted to know the answers behind them.
"That reminds me of a question I had asked everyone one day, that what do you want to become when you'll depart my aashram one day..." He trailed off, with a small smile that began to remind me the flashes of that incident, "Everyone replied that they want to be a renowned swordsman, a good archer, a ferocious wrestler, mace fighter and what not.....but do you remember what you answered?"
"That all I want to be is a good human?" Those words abruptly rolled off my tongue.
"And you are no doubt, living up to it my son." He stood up, brushing my tresses for a while and striding away from there.
Am I really?
★★★★★★★
A/N
Bhery koot ich Arjun (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Chalo, 10 chapters finally over from this book. Abhi thora break ke baad hoga ye book update (◕ᴗ◕✿).
Because boond boond se hi saagar banta hai, and each boond should be of good quality.(◕ᴗ◕✿)
Signing off for today!
Kiritija Nushkie
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•|| Arjun ~ Rise To Power ||• (III)
Historical FictionConspiracies; there was no end to it. Years had swept over only to increase the hatred between the Pandavs and the Kauravs, the disparity and tension was evident in the atmosphere of Hastinapur. Trapped in a web of lies and plots hatched to wipe off...
