Baby Mothers ( Bryshere Gray ) Book #1

Çh.33

May 1st 2016
-8pm-
Briana

I was coming home from the hospital I had another conversation with Bryshere , I just want him to know someone still cares about him everyone else stopped going after only 3 weeks

Lucas- you spend more time with a guy in a coma then you do your own boyfriend

Me- he's not just some guy in a coma , he's in a coma because of me

Lucas - he's in there because of his self

Me- stop being an Asshole

Lucas - he shot up someone's house

Me- but you don't understand that their beef started because of me

I had it bad this past month I don't eat like I used , sleep like I used and I can't have sex, and every time I think I'm getting a little sleep I have nightmares about that night ,Lucas has been great with me and very patient and I appreciate him for that , BJ been spending time with Ian and India these pass days , Jhene always checking up on me, tapia checks on me every once and then and I really have a great support system and I am thankful for that , even Michael, Keon and Malik stay checking up on me .

I sat on my couch and I had an instant flashback

"Chresanto - I'm sorry

Me-no, she's right.

Chresanto -I feel like a bad person

Me-me to

Chresanto-We're bad people

We both started laughing

Chresanto-I can spend the rest of my life with that smile

Me-ugh , I hate it when you say stuff like that , ruining a good moment

Chresanto-A good moment is laughing because we're bad people

Me-yup "

-end of flashback-

This whole month I've been thinking what happened to Chresanto , did I turn him that way ? Or was he always like that ?? I really thought those Times he told me he loved me he was sincere , maybe he's always been crazy I will never know the answer to these question because he's dead , they burnt that house to the ground .

My life is full of regrets and questions now and I realize that I have to fight my demons , starting off with one in particular ,
Keke.

I go to my room and put on my black hoodie , put on my black gloves and sunglasses and I got my gun I walked out the house and through the door and this time Lucas didn't bother asking me where I was going.
I drive to the same apartment I knew Keke was living in.

I knocked on her door as soon as she opened the door I hit her with my gun , I started kicking her in her stomach I grabbed her hair and took her to her bed and grabbed the pillow and I put it over her face she was gasping for air and before I could kill her I throw the pillow across the room , and I spit on her face .

Me- I should kill you.

Keke was gasping for air looking like an idiot

Me- your life has been spared , Keke .
I walked out her room politely.

Next up : mom

I drove all the way to my childhood hell hole to visit one of my demons .
I knocked on her door
Mom- who is it?
Me-Briana

She opened the door and let me in.
I sat my gun on the table .
Mom-why do you have that ?
Me-you know the nicest thing you ever said to me was "I'm glad its not a girl, congratulations on bringing one less girl like you to this world"
Me-and the other Nicest thing you used to say to me was "get up for school "
Mom-look I can get you some help

Me-I DONT NEED ANY HELP! I NEED ANSWERS !!

Mom-you want the answer ? Truth is I never wanted you , your dad did, so I kept you to keep him and as soon as you arrived a month later he left .

Me-I'm so happy for him , really I am , but look here's your opportunity, the gun is right there , you can get what you always wanted , no daughter.

My mom slowly picked up the gun
Mom -look I'm not going to shoot you
Me-Why not !??
I got up and walked towards her and looked her in the face and said "I look just like you , mother"
And that's when she pulled the trigger .

Me-no bullets ,
I grabbed the gun out her hand
me-nice to know you never loved me. I never got any hugs , kisses or had any mother/daughter conversations with you , you were really willing to kill me , now me and you , we both have to live with it for the rest of our lives , at least I dont have to do it alone , you old bitch. You can keep it.
I dropped the gun on the table and I walked out.

On my way home I was already drowned in tears I have a few more stops but that was enough, enough for one night, I have a son to live for.
On my way to the hospital
I was thinking about how I knew when I pulled that trigger and took that filthy man's life , I wouldn't be the same and I did it anyway.

And I was thinking about Keke if her dumb as would've never lied about the pregnancy in the first place the course of history would've changed , drastically , that's where everything went wrong, she's really the cause of all this and I should've killed her but all evidence would've went towards me and I can't go to jail .

Before I get to the hospital I take off my hoodie , and glasses .

I signed in my name and went to Bryshere's room .

Me-hey , it's me again
I said while grabbing his hand
Me-I miss you and I know there's been longer ,waaay longer times that we've been apart but the truth is that day when I was blind folded and I heard your voice crack I knew in that moment I didn't ever want to be apart from you again
So when those blind folds came off I instantly looked for you , I grabbed Lucas's gun -laughs- and I started looking for you and in that moment when I finally found you , I lost you . that's been happening a lot with us , we take three steps forward and two steps back every time, And got damn we haven't kissed sense you took off to Jamaica , and I didn't even know you were going to Jamaica until you texted me later on and I was mad at you and just like that I lost you , why does this always happen? Look I'm here for you just please give me a sign that you're listening or something and if you don't just know I will never give up on you , ever , I don't care what anybody says.
I put my forehead on his bed and gripped his hands tighter and his thumb brushed against my hand .
Me-Bryshere?
He was still in his coma
Me-nurse ! Nurse !
Nurse -yea ?
Me-he moved , he moved his thumb
Nurse -that's a great sign , keep doing what you doing , and saying what you're saying cause he's listening.