The Epiphany of Love

Bottled up

Yul's POV

*That night

After me, my mom, and Byul went home, I laid in bed and felt fluttery and and I felt happy despite the bad event earlier. I finally could understand why adults describe love as feeling like your floating on air all the time... But... the problem is I can't show these feelings.. What would happen to our friendship? If I just confess to her and get rejected... how will I face her again? I really like Byul, but I cant risk our years of friendship! I shouldn't. That's being selfish because what if Byul just wants to be friends and I confess... that would hurt our good relationship. How hard can getting over love be? I mean at least I think its love? I'm pretty sure in a couple of months, I will get over her. I mean I'm one of the more popular boys in my grade. I have girls confess to me here and there. Maybe I'll just date the next girl that confesses to me?.. Yeah! That's it... But that's such a jerk move. Gahh! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! I can now see why people say love is complicated... Byul... You tell me what I should do with this heart.. with these feelings.. can I confess to you? Or do I have to try really hard to bottle up these feelings and try to move on no matter how hard that may be. Yeah... I should keep these feelings to myself.

*Later that week at school

"Hey dumbo!" I call out to Byul as we are heading out from school. I see her talking and walking with a sunbae from her study group. "Aish" I say to myself quietly. Why is she smiling so much while talking with him. What's so funny?! "Aigoo, Byul you dummy.. What am I going to do with you?" I say again to myself quietly. "Boo!" another classmate named Jin shouted as she sneaked up behind me. "What the!" I said as I got scared. Darn it! Did she catch me talking to myself? "Hi Yul, What's up?" she says happily. "Oh hi Jin, you really scared me." I replied. "Sorry heh heh.. but I see that Byul is walking with another guy home. Is he her boyfriend? Or ... did you guys fight?" Jin said. What?! Him?! Her boyfriend my butt. Why is she being so nosy all of a sudden. I mean I am friends with her but we aren't that close. "NO he's not her boyfriend" I quickly say. Oh no! I sounded like I was jealous which I was but I can't let anyone know. "pfftt you think that that dummy can get a boyfriend? I think not! AND I did not fight with her. I mean it's not like I always absolutely have to walk home with her." I explained. Ugh epic face palm. I felt stupid. "Hmm alrighty then.. as long as you don't care that she's walking with another guy, it's fine" Jin said. "Huh? " I reply. "..Oh i mean you know as a friend because I care.. you know? But wow you know what?" she said. "What?" I replied. "I'm finally walking home with you from school!" she said as we approached in Byul's direction. Ooo I can hear Byul and that guy's conversation! Byul now, looks like she's hesitant and looks taken aback. What did that sheki say to make her taken aback? "So.. yeah I mean think about it and then give me a ring. I'll give you my phone number" the upperclassman said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it over to Byul. "Oh... um... Sunbae.. I" Byul said. "Dont reply to me now! If you let me know your answer now... I'll be too embarrassed..." The sunbae replied. I scoffed. What is this situation? Did he just confess to Byul? MY Byul? The confession I will probably never make. If I am being honest.. I'm actually pretty jealous that he can make such a confession... He's bold unlike me. I mean if he confesses like that and gets rejected how will he face her while they are in their study group. Oh no.. What if she says yes? "Yul! Yul Hwang!" Jin said while snapping her fingers in front of me. "Did you.. hear anything I said? Whats on your mind?" "Hey Jin, actually, I think I'm um just going to walk home alone. I've kind of got a lot on my mind right now and I just want to have some time to think on my own" I said. "..Oh.. that's okay. But you gotta promise to walk home with me one day. Okay?" Jin said as she winked and walked away quickly to her friend. Phew boy was that weird. I headed straight towards me and Byul's secret place to think. I was pretty mad and jealous! I mean what's up with Byul not even noticing me walking with another girl. No no better yet what's up with that guy! I mean does he even think that he has a chance with a girl like Byul? NO he doesnt! She's one of a kind. She's She's perfect and beautiful and smart and nice and and.. but he does have a higher chance than me considering he even confessed already. GAH! I was frustrated. I started to throw stones at the mini waterfall in our secret place.