Day in the life of a non binary girl | book one|

About me

Hello, my name is Elena, I was born in Romania and adopted in Canada at the time, Romania was war zone and was rife with all kinds of unsavoury people. At that time when I was just too, I ended up with PTSD unknowingly until I found out at age 19. Also, at age 2 I became a Canadian citizen and was adopted. That being said! I have had a bittersweet childhood where I have had both good things and disappointments and the ugly happened to me! The ugliest thing that ever happened to me, was going to a religious school that really did not work out for me. Adding to my PTSD if you would. Because of bullying and other stupid stuff that was going on at the time. When I was just 14 I was victim of bullicide, and that was nearly the end of my life there but I continued my life. When I went through high school, there was still the bullying, but it wasn't the to the point of bullicide! Why because I did martial arts and at the time I did not take any sh*t from anyone! That soon turned in my first symptom of PTSD, where I was loss Ing it and falling into a depressive sate!    It was still a religious high school and I remember the worst class that I had when I was going through this depressive state was the idea world of religions, and the teacher was a real b*tch! That being said, she did not let me eat lunch for quite some time because of the other students behavior, which is kind of unfair, and does not make any sense to that opinion but anyways, I was the one that got the brunt of it all on world religion class! Also, I learned about human suffering in world religion, particularly from other religions, and other people that might not agree with each other, which is kind of stupid! To fight over something similar!    Before the depressive state I used to love to go swimming and swimming I would do. After that I would never go near a swimming pool with a 10 foot pole. That being said, I was alsi called all sorts of names, which I'm not gonna mention on here. That being said, I even was accused, because I did not like world religion class that I was accused of many things- none of which I was in the first place because I couldn't stand the religion class they decided to accuse me of such stupid things!

When I had my first you would think my first boyfriend was mentioned in my other blog moon bender. But this case this was also the first boy I ever had. He turned out to be a cheater, and that caused me to have many broken relationships. Right down to where I had my broken relationship if I'm not gonna mention what that was about. I've had about 10 broken relationships since high school, and neither of them worked out cleanly after the break up. Usually it was the other person being the clearcut Grasser. As it usually! The first time I broke up with someone I thought I was lesbian, it flew all over the school like wildfire and the next thing you know I ended up being accused of other horrible things not LGBTQ related but the idea that I was an idiot and stuff like that!   That was the final straw was when I was threatening with prison when I just said I was just being who I was in the first place by my exes mother since then I've never been able to handle dealing with an ex.  At the time of high school, I started learning how to write for entertainment and fun. Not for school! That being said, I was enjoying writing my own poetry and stuff but I wish I knew about wattpad at the time..... it would've gotten my name out of there to the public a lot sooner. But I have it now, which is important. I started writing poetry to help alleviate the depressive state that I was in and as well as the aftermath of grade 8 when I was being bullied! also, I started writing essays another things just for the front of it not because of school I couldn't stand writing because of school, but once I was out of school, I was able to read right on my own accord, and I was a compulsive reader, and a compulsive writer still to this day!  That had to be said, I love a good book more than I want a good meal sometimes. I am more books in my room than I consume calories at being said, I do not have any ED! Although it does seem like it at the time when I get a little snooty, and I don't want to eat supper! But that was who I was to begin with take it or leave it that's just the way I was wired is that sometimes I can skip a meal and sometimes I can't it depends on the smell of the meal and other stuff I just don't deal with the third meal sometimes! That being said no ED! I just rather feed my brain! 

When I was 19 years old, I started reading a book, called shaken by the devil, which was by Romeo Delaire! And that helped me identify me as post traumatic stress disorder, and not the happy Gaki. I hate to say this autistic person who is more happy and healthy than anything else. That was a wrong Diagnosis was the autism thought. That being said, I just didn't agree with the autism diagnosis that I had. That is why I think it's important that you should get a second opinion and learn to read books for fun. It might help you with your mental health. That being said, I also enjoy reading just for the fun of it because it's enjoyable and it's a lot more easier than watching loud TV show that can get everyone in an uproar and other things like that I just like tv!

It took me about o when Netflix was on board. It took me about 10 years before I ended up getting Netflix. And I still read books to this day. My room is so full of more books and I have my meals over the day. That being said I am non-binary. That's who I am! I am non-binary because I am wired differently. I feel like I don't have to acknowledge any gender that I have, but I have to twinkle sitting down! Other than that the end of the day thing other than that, I don't see myself as being sister gender or a biological whatever or a trans whatever I'm just plain old non-binary!  Also I am bi/pan!  All of which are included in the LGBTQ spectrum! And it turned out that I one time before I was positive for post traumatic stress disorder that I also have an IQ of 196. Unbelievable you're gonna think I am blowing the smoke up your butt but that's not for that reason, you gonna ask me about anything that I find interesting and I'll tell you exactly what I know about it and it'll be exactly what the YouTube or whatever I used to learn about that subject to compare it with my brain!

I have many different interest. Many of them are on my account like witchcraft and astronomy, astrology and creepy past and siren head especially siren head is a big fan fair for me! Siren head was created by people who have post traumatic stress disorder in the old days, which was also called the back then the fail shock. And it was popularized by Trevor Henderson's artwork. That's what I learned from a documentary on siren head and that much I can say is that it's a very interesting creature!

How did I know I was non-binary was the fact that I do a lot of mindfulness activities, and a lot of thinking outside the box especially mindfulness that I do the mindfulness practice I do for it was supposed to be for mental health, but turned out it was a search of self discovery. I discover certain things about myself that people know about unless they go through a traumatic experience, or that they go through an awakening of some sort. That being said, I just do mindfulness usually Help me calm down, but it turns into a think, and I do contemplation and I'm able to go ask myself what is this for example, what am I who am I whatever?! That being said I'm very very interested in mindfulness and meditation. I wouldn't really call it mindfulness it's more meditation for me because I find out who the hell I am in the first place! That is how I came to know that I was non-binary because I was not exactly the most average human being on the planet. I look like an average human being, average female human being, but really I stick out like a sore thumb and I like it that way, that being said, I have gone through a lot of metamorphosis and transmutation just trying to do anger management mindfulness. It was kind of strange. But it turned out that I was non-binary, and that I am more rare than well gold itself. I'm not trying to toot my own horn it's just that the idea of being unique and kind is more important to me than being wallpaper. Let's put it that way as Marilyn Manson said!

I also want an artist I've been an artist, since I was four years old. You can look up my other blog Moonbeam bender blog when you want, on blog, and you can find that that will show you more evidence inside in my mind. This is just gonna be my blog about well being non-binary and living day today my day-to-day life, not trying to explore memories or anything! This is a present day blog, which is talking about the present day adventures that I go through as well as how I go through being a non-binary person!

My hopes are to be a tattoo artist, blogger, and bestselling author! As it was since I could remember i love creating and being my self!