Not Alone

Ep 3: Leave me alone!!

"I'm sorry Hyung" said hyunjin and ran as fast as he could.

*Hyunjin's pov*

Did it again. Once more, I had disappointed them. I've proved myself as nothing but a burden to the team again.They've been trying so hard to adjust as well. They've lost a member as well but they know how to go on. I can't I really can't.

I ran as fast as I could,  to the rooftop , our dorm's roof top..that had been my comfort place these days. I couldn't hold back my tears..I shut the damn door and burst out. The memories came rushing back And I could feel myself getting clogged up by intrusive thoughts. Every emotion that I had felt ever since the day woojin Hyung left the group , I felt all of that again. I had to push myself so hard to not get engulfed by the recurring urge to hurt myself and do defend myself from the inner demons of insanity. I suddenly felt like I would never be happy again.

*Su's pov*

I was tired , I had worked hard ,very freakin hard to get here..I had pushed myself like a pit ball over the years to mold myself to perfection, I had put in all my straws to get this chance and I can not let any body question the years of my sweat and pain like that just because I tripped and fell.

I hated him , and I knew he hated me too but we were a team and we need to make up , that's what I thought...we can not continue living like we'd kill  each other at the slightest chance we get.
And thus I had decided to talk.

I stepped out of the room, the members hadn't come back..atleast that was what I thought but I heard cries and instinctively I followed them to the  rooftop.
It kinda sounded like hyunjin not gonna lie.
Without even thinking I knocked...I couldn't say anything because if i did maybe the other person wouldn't be comfortable enough to let me in.                2 minutes later I heard a click...the door had been opened up and it was indeed, Hyunjin.

He looked up "It's you again" he said obviously not very happy about it. He proceeded to close the door again but I forced myself in
"We need to talk" I said.
"No we don't " he shot back.
"I heard you cry"
And he went silent....he didn't want to retaliate anymore and he pointed towards the platform in front of him quietly.
"What do you want?" He muffled looking down.

"I know you hate me, hyunjin...and maybe I hate you too but believe it or not we are a team now...we need to work together..I'm not telling you to pamper me or something..I just need you to tone it down..it's alright if you don't wanna be involved with me at the dorm but atleast when we we're working..let's just be professionals and accept what we've got, there's no point sneering and fighting each other..it'll only pull us back..do you get me?" I asked looking at him with sincere eyes because I really did want this team to work out.

He hummed back "Alright...let's work together"

He had cried a lot that day and it was pretty clear.
"let's get back" I said chuckling a smile

"I'll lock the door...you should go ahead" and then we went back downstairs.
The members were back as well.

"You guys made up?" Changbin asked.

"Could say so" i muttered, hyunjin rolled his eyes but nodded a little.

And everyone went off. Jeongin came up to me and asked "You good?"
I simply nodded
"How did you even  manage to talk to him..it has nearly been impossible for us to catch conversations these days?" He said.
"He cried. A lot I guess"
"In front of you?" Jeongin asked.
"No he cried alone, I went up there when I heard the cries but he had consoled himself till then I'd say...I just told him to accept the fact that we're a team and act as professionals when we're working"  I said

Jeongin hummed.

"What's the deal with him anyway? It's not mood swings, that I know" I asked.

"He's been like that ever since woojin left the group" Chan said handing us our coffee.

"He and woojin were close..like real brothers...back during the survival show days when hyunjin was at a risk of elimination , woojin fought a lot to keep him in...he was a big brother to him but when he left..he pretty much savored ties with all of us..nasty fights we had." he continued
"The night he left..hyunjin had gone to talk to him and no one knows what they talked about..hyunjin never told us...but he cried a lot that day..in front of us" he stopped looking down..the pain in his voice was evident. He had trusted a man and his trust was broken.

"I understand what it must've been on him..maybe someday he'll open up to you guys" I said forcing a smile.

They nodded
"How's your foot btw?" Chan asked
"It's nothing really..I just need some rest that's all" I said

"Sleep early today, Su. Take care!" He said and went away

"You too sleep early jeongin, good night" I waved and made my way to my room
I thought a lot that day , I don't know why I just did. All about what could've gone wrong but determined not to mess up the next day..I shrugged off my thoughts and slept.

Practice went well the next few days...I had mastered the choreos for the next album tracks as well as the old choreos...Recording begins tomorrow for the SKZ-RELOAD album, it's just old songs but me singing woojin's parts.

I was sitting at the centre table with .my laptop open. I had some ideas and i thought it'd be the best for me to jot it down instead of forgetting about it.

"Need some coffee?" A voice echoed through the room