Not Alone

Ep 6: Don't let this get to you

"What the hell?" I heard jeongin scream, loud as fvck.

I sprung out to the living room to actually find out the hell happened and what I saw was jeongin legit snatching his phone from han's hands as soon as he saw me and sort of avoiding this conversation, he simply walked out with an "I'll charge it" as if he had not screamed so loud seconds ago.

"What did he see?" I asked
And they were all looking at me as if I had asked something in a language they didnt understand, they were not talking.

"Guys?" I asked again.
And I heard Chan sigh as he walked towards me. All 8 eyes that had been staring at me for so long were now glued to the ground, retaliating to move.

"It's about you, Su" he said and then I saw him take his phone out of the pocket.
He played a video right in front of my face, as I finally got to know what had happened.

"The video of you leaning or bending forward during my pace encore from the last concert has been circulated on the online forum, fans were shocked enough with the eighth member being a girl and now that they've got their hands on something they could probably use against you, they're going all out on the hate...I really advice you not to open the forum right now..to keep yourself in the right mind" Chan said, as I stood frozen there..my eyes staring holes into the wall in front of me and my mind stuck at just one thought.

"Yeah, don't go over the comments..they'll be taken down soon and people will eventually forget about it..don't worry...we've got MAMA coming up..you better concentrate on that" Lee-know said and I hummed back.

"JYPE called, no practice today, you could use some rest, Su..you haven't recovered well" Chan said and I nodded.

I walked off to my room, not even lifting my teary eyes off the floor. I closed the door, gently as if whispering my anguish to the air right now and sat down, on the cold floor...weeping. I grabbed my phone out of the pocket and did exactly what I was told to avoid at most. I opened our Twitter handle and there it was, should I call it Disappointment? Bullying? Criticism ? Threats? . Hate would be an umbrella term for that I suppose, I don't even know what was so wrong about bending forward in an encore performance, I was so tired that day but I gave my all...every ounce of energy that I had, I knew I had invested all of it into performing that concert but people still called me out.

"Lazy B!tch..why bother joining the team if she couldn't even put up with the intensity on the first day"
"JYPE really needs better management on picking up trainees and idols, a douchebag like her gets to live with them, and stand with them as if she's one of them"
"She's just a slvt, b!tch only knows manipulating"
"Did you see how the members couldn't even give there ending ments because of her...she probably did that to seek attention...such a wh0re"
"I don't even understand why a non worthy person like her is the replacement for woojinie"

Do I even deserve all of this? For giving it my all? Do I even deserve this? For trying so hard?

That day, JYPE released an official statement stating the conditions I had performed under at the time of the concert and further issued a strict warning for netzians trying to manipulate other fans or ridiculing the members or their actions, along with the new set of rules for concerts and fanships.
We had also scheduled a mini concert in Busan, followed by an interview to divert the crowd's attention.
But the fans were outrageous, I was being called too frail and weak to be a part of stray kids, I had been accused of pulling the team down and being an irresponsible burden to the group.
Stays had been calling out JYPE for their failed attempt of trying to dodge the heat by taking part in interviews and shows and also for their lousy training process and management.