The Nowhere Girl

41. Alfred is a Master of Blackmail

Halloween came and went. And what a night it was. Every idiot in Gotham tried to put on a mask and commit a crime of some sort. Even a pumpkin-carving themed serial killer came out to play. Someone even tried to summon Samhain.

I thought I would be worse, with the Joker gone I thought there'd be a power struggle, but it didn't come; crime actually fell. Deep down I know war is coming - now I'm just waiting for someone to pull the trigger.

I'm trying to take a Spider-Man approach to being a vigilante, but I'm still absolutely miserable. And it's not just because I'm still working through my issues. Coming up with quips on the spot is stressful. I also haven't been able to go out much as a civilian because of the bounty on my head.

Before Waller got me... Just when I'd started to feel accepted, to feel I had a home in Wayne Manor and I might be a normal kid - or as normal as you can be when you're a in another dimension, training to become a vigilante - I'd been separated out as if I had some rare disease.

Only Damian and Jason talk to me, while the others steer clear as much as possible. I finished my training with Bruce sooner than I was supposed to. He pushed me harder than ever and wasn't afraid to bruise me up in the process.

"Sure it was fun. But does that mean it was right...?" Red Hood asks me as we ride side by side through the streets. He's still thinking about the night before, when he went to the Iceberg Lounge. He's been laundering the money he stole from Cobblepot through his own cassino. "...I mean, am I really making a difference out there? Or am I just trying to march Penguin off a cliff because I can? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just part of the problem. If we all are."

"Red, when you have the answer to that, please tell me."

Red Hood and I head up to the Clocktower from a drug bust. From what I've been told Barbara is juggling her time between Batgirl and Oracle. We found a new drug and need her to take a look at it.

When we arrive, Nightwing stands by the monitor, waiting for us. "Hey lovebirds."

"Dickie." There's a click-hiss as Jason takes off his hood and shake his head like a dog. Dick scrunches his nose.

"Play nice, you two. We're not having a repeat of last time." Barbara's fingers clack against the keyboard. "Bluey, how are you?"

"Tryna do better," I say as Jason takes a dark purple hard drive out of his pocket and tosses it Barbara. She catches it in one hand.

Dick's lips quirk up, and he runs a hand though his hair. "You must be itching to get away from Jason. I would be."

This isn't going as bad as I thought, but Jason glares at his older.

"Oh, ye of little faith," I tell Dick, defusing the situation before Jason hits him. I raise my hand, running my fingers through Jason's hair in a way I know he likes; and calms him down.

Dick just shakes his head, picking up a news paper from the monitor desk. He passes it to me. "You're getting reputation."

I unfold the paper, giving Jason a small shake of my head when he raises an eyebrow, silently asking me if I want him to read it. The article take me almost an twenty minutes to read, because the angrier I got, the more the words floated around on the page.

The Killing Joke

By Vicky Vale

For as long as most of us can remember the Joker has terrorised Gotham. But with the emergence of a new anti-hero, the Clown Prince of Crime's rein has come to a violent, and bloody end. His body was discovered in an abandon wing of Arkham Asylum after last weeks attack. This new vigilante must pack a punchline.

Not much is known about Hawkeye, except that she works closely with Red Hood as a sidekick. Many sources say the hawkeyed marksman is Australian in origin. She is Caucasian and appears to be a young adult. Hawkeye uses a bow and arrow, but unlike other vigilantes in this city, she's been seen stopping street level crime in broad daylight.

Police would not comment on Hawkeye's suspected involvement in stopping illegal exports from Port Adams but have not ruled out foul play. Below is a recent picture of Gotham's newest anti-hero. Police urge anyone with information to call the following toll-free crime-stoppers hotline, and to keep their distance.

The phone number is circled in black marker.

"Sidekick!" I exclaim.

"I think you're missing the point, Blue," Dick says. "You're basically a criminal now."

"But on the bright side, I'm famous," I counter.

Dick shakes his head and regains his composer. "There's one other thing..."

Jason frowns, seeing two vanilla envelopes on of a box of all his hardware. He strides over and snatches them up. I look over his shoulder and see both my name and Jason's in Alfred's fancy cursive manuscript. He opens his, scanning over it much faster than I can read.

"What have I told the old man about his stupid parties? I'm legally dead. Bluey has a bounty on her head. We're not going if we don't want to." He wads the paper and throws it in the trash.

"And Bruce hasn't paid me for the first time I worked for him."

"And Alfred wants you to come," Dick says. "He says he'll make cookies if you and Blue show up."

Barbara swivels around in her chair. "That's not fair. He has to make his cookies!"

"We're not coming." Jason crosses his arms.

Barbara's eyes narrow and she gives Jason a glare that makes him shiver. "You're coming. I'm getting some of Alfred's cookies."

Dick shrugs. "It's a masquerade anyway, because of Halloween. You should be fine."

"Halloween was three nights ago," I argue.

"He wanted to wait until all the complications had passed."

I look to Barbara hoping she'll back me up, but Jason lifts his head to the ceiling to avoid her eyes. "No."

"Alfred mentioned something about pulling some strings to rescind Floyd Lawton's pardon if you and Jason don't spend some quality time with the family. He's a little mad he hasn't seen you in a few weeks."

I sigh and hang my head in defeat. "I see Alfie's skilled in the art of blackmail."

Now they just have to convince Jason.

"Come on Jay. None of us want to see and angry Alfred, and you'll get good food if you come." Barbara places a hand on Jason's arm. She's right. None of us want to be on the receiving end of Alfred's wrath.

Jason told me what happened when he didn't show up for thanksgiving. I flinch.

"Alright," he grumbles.

Barbara grins. "Good." Her expression darkens. "But if you two don't show up, and I don't get my cookies, Alfred will be the least of your problems."

I nod and Jason's shoulders sag.

As we leave, Dick holds me back a second. "Please be chill, okay?"

"Don't worry about me, Dick... I won't do anything rash."

He hugs me like a brother.

Meme of the day