The Nowhere Girl

49. Sins of the Father

I find the scattered pieces of paper on the kitchen bench.

They're letters.

Like the ones Floyd wrote to me from prison.

But these are signed by

Wills Todd.

Kid,

By now you heard what happened. Judge threw the book at me. God bless the American criminal justice system, am I right? Ain't saying I didn't deserve it. Lord knows I spent a lifetime making my own crap sandwiches.

So, why am I reaching out now? (Not like we talked a lot when I was around.) 'Cause I don't want you winding up where I am. I guess I want to tell you your old man ain't always been a bum. But that would be a lie.

I'm done lying.

Back when I was self-employed. Working for Big Pharma. Kids. Bums. Junkies. Didn't care who I sold to. Business was business. Till it wasn't. The day I met the girl who would become your mother. I shouldn't have sold to her. I should have told her to walk away. A guy like me was bad news. Angels ain't supposed to kiss devils. But she was the most beautiful thing I ever seen. Even a bum deserves a chance at happiness, right?

Guessing this all comes as a surprise, huh? That your mom and dad used to be kids... before they became the worst parents in the world.

Lights out. More soon.

Dad.

Kid,

Where was I?

Right. Meeting the parents.

To the surprise of no one - they didn't want a drug dealer dating their daughter. Even a retired one. I told her to stay. But your mother was a stubborn lady. She did something nobody ever did my whole life. She chose me.

Kid,

We didn't have nothing. I felt like crap for taking her from life in the 'burbs. But she adjusted. That's what addicts do. No matter how much you wish they didn't. one day I thought she was dead. Nothing so simple.

She was pregnant. Wish I could say I was happy.

Truth? I was scared spitless.

I did my best. Got a job. Went legit. We took classes at Gotham Y. Learned to breath and crap. Apparently they frowned on beer in class. The doc didn't get it calmed down your mom. We had enough classes by then. We didn't need no stupid doctors. We had each other. Who needs more than that?

Jason. After your grandfather. So this is Gotham. Your home. You're everything I never was. A dammed Prince of Gotham. I thought I could keep you safe and be a dad you can look up to. Guess you know how that promise turned out.

Jay, for a go of it for a while. The three of us playing house.

Turns out owning a kid is expensive. Maybe it was the drugs your mom never stopped taking. Maybe you just got my bad genes. They saved you that night. Stabilised you. Prayers were free. But you were gonna need medicine. Therapy. That wasn't going to happen working at a car wash.

I was desperate. I wasn't going to lose the only thing in my life I was ever proud of. Dealing was too dangerous for a dad. So I manned up. Nailed the interviews. The Todd family luck was turning around. Turns out I was pretty good at it. following orders. Henching.

I worked for some of the greats. Even the big guys needed a mook. Even toyed around with becoming one someday. Some people think you just need a gimmick. But you also need to know how to take a punch- from a guy what lives to punch. Not for me, thanks.

It wasn't the most glamourous lifestyle. But it kept food on the table- and you out of the hospital. Sometimes we had enough left over to do something fun. Remember that day at the circus? Just the guys. I showed you one of my battle scars. My forever merit badge.

The next job- turned out to be my last.

Cobblepot.

But Penguin wasn't looking for a hench. He wanted a fall guy. He's out there living the high life.

Me?

Twenty to life.

Kid,

I heard about your mom today. I'm so sorry. You don't get it now. One day you'll see love alone don't fix anything.

Jason, this is my last letter for a while. Maybe ever. I made a deal today. I agree to be some scientific pin cushion- they let me go early. If I live. Crazy? Absolutely. But I'm what your mom used to call "willy". Trust me. Someday, God willing, you'll have a son. Then you'll know what it's like to love him so much... you'll do anything to be with your boy again.

I'll see you soon.

Love, Dad.

Right at the bottom of the pile of letters there's a row of pictures of Jason and his dad from a photo booth. Jason can't be more than 12 and he's the happiest I've ever seen him.

He must've read these just before he went out on patrol.

Jason's going to kill the Penguin.

Meme of the day