Tales from my heart

A hurt soul grows anger and sadness. Not fear.

I'm used to getting hurt.
The blood stains on my body.
They all appeared because of your words.
You cut my soul with every second I live.
And now I feel like I don't deserve anything.
I look in the mirror and tell myself that I don't deserve to be warm.
I don't deserve to be happy and I especially don't deserve to stand up for myself in your presence.
Why do you do this?
You make fun of me for learning how to survive in this world but then you're shocked about me getting sick.
I'm not only mostly because of you mentally unstable, I'm also simply sick of your attitude.
Just because you're older doesn't mean you get to tell me what's right or wrong.
I am a child and I don't deserve to live in fear of my own words.
I should not be sitting here, crying because I have to change my personality once more.
You're supposed to help me, be my hero, support me in every way possible.
But you're just a terrible human to live with.
Now I have a full closet of clothes I can't wear because you cut me again.
Your knife feels sharper each time you touch my soul but you won't notice.
You never notice anything until the blood has soaked its way through the fabric.
And then you get angry at how careless I am about my stuff.
What's the next thing you're gonna destroy?
My whole closet?
Are you gonna come into my cell, holding an axe and start smashing the only thing keeping the blood from flooding my whole room?
With every day I live with you, my fear of drowning grows bigger.
The feeling of my lungs filling up with my own blood haunts me in my sleep.
But I guess you'll neither know nor care.
I watched you leave with all my hope and happiness in your bags but you never came back with it.
Instead your luggage was filled with weapons.
I thought they were to go on fun hunting sprees.
Little did I know that I was gonna be the prey.
But I want you to know that no matter how often you try to hurt me, you'll never be able to strike my heart like the first time.
Because now it's filled with stone.