Tales from my heart

I wish I was free

I wish I was free from the memories I was forced to make.
Many nights I lay awake.
Why did this happen to you?
Why did the universe choose to paint my life blue?
My sun would shine every day
but at some point it didn't let you stay.
You were taken from me.
You didn't even get to flee.
I saw you there,
laying in the middle of nowhere.
My room is cold, the air too thin,
I don't think I'll ever get to win.
The dreams of you are real.
At least that's what I feel.
When I touch your fur,
it starts to blur.
My vision fades, my mind wakes up,
it doesn't want to remember what it once loved.
When I think of you,
nothing feels new.
I remember it all
which makes it hard to get calm.
I panic, I cry,
my sadness stops time.
I feel paralyzed by the memory,
like I can't do anything normally.
I sit in my room for hours at a time,
waiting for this feeling to stop crossing my mind.
I remember the good, I remember the bad,
but forgetting about you would make me feel mad.
I don't know if I'll ever be free,
because the memories will last endlessly.
I'll try my best to stick to the good
but that isn't easy when you're still in the woods.