I want to know what color I am. Vol. 1

Chapter 1 - What color am I?

I want to know what color I am.

I'm Nagisa, a first year high school boy who is 16 years old.

Right now I'm at my school, Kitauji. I'm sitting at my desk in my class, 1-A. The weather is favorable, I'm not feeling hot or cold, not that I mind that.

— Speak up, Nagisa! All good?

For me nothing in life makes sense, it's as if everything has no color. My life is gray and honestly I don't care about it.

— Nagisa?

I don't remember when I stopped feeling meaning in life. I've never been that annoying person who says life has no meaning or anything like that. I just kept to myself and never told people about how I felt.

— Nagisa! Wake up!

I've never been diagnosed with depression, my parents don't know that I'm sad or anything like that, only my classmates or teachers, but they've never said that to my parents or my siblings.

Suddenly, I felt a reality check. Makoto, my childhood friend who is in the same class as me, slammed his hands on my table and shouted my name.

— Nagisa! Where are you?

— Oh, hi Makoto.

— Lost in the world again? It's the second time today.

— I'm sorry.

— It is good too. Classes are over, come on, let's go to the club.

— Why are you at the gaming club? You're athletic and smart, shouldn't you waste your time on that?

- What are you talking about? We've talked about this before. If you're worried about my future, leave it alone, I'll do what I want. Now follow me.

Makoto and I are best friends, but he is very different from me.

— Why does handsome Makoto keep talking to that depressed guy?

— I have no idea.

I dealt with these comments sometimes. They were rare, but they happened . Not everyone liked me at that school. Must it be because I'm short and Makoto is tall? I don't think so.

— Hey, don't talk bad about my best friend. - Makoto stopped walking forward and looked at those girls who spoke badly about me.

They looked down and left.

— Don't care about those things.

— I really don't care.

It's true , I don't see the point in anything, much less unnecessary things.

We arrived at the games club, where the rest of the members were.

Yuta, Ray and Amane, all in their first year of high school. But in different classes than us.

— Oops!

— Hey!

— Yo.

— We're here, let's play Counter-Stringer?

— Could it be.

Counter-Stringer is a team FPS game. We are five people, so we could form a complete team.

We played for several hours, and we all won, thanks to me.

— No way, Nagisa is very good! - Yuta said.

— He really has magic in his hands. - Amane said.

- Thanks.

I've been playing this game since I was eight years old, so for me it's just easy.

— It's getting late, shall we go?

— Yes.

The five of us went home together every day.

We left school and walked to our homes. It may seem bizarre, but the five of us are neighbors, very close neighbors indeed. All five houses are close to each other. So we went to school together too. My sister is also a first year and is also at our school, but she didn't go to school with us.

— If we win one more time, we will be at the highest level in the game! - Ray said.

— I'm excited! - Makoto said.

— With our strength, we will win! —Amane said.

— That was very general, Amane. - I said.

— Ah, Nagisa, leave me!

Everyone started laughing.

— Why are they with me ?

Finally, we arrived at our homes. Mine is in the middle.

I arrived at my house, went to my room without talking to anyone and went to sleep.

I woke up as usual, but my hair felt a little longer than normal.

Why was my hair as long as my neck?

I ran to the bathroom to see what had happened, and...

I was seeing a female figure in the mirror.

— Ah...

I didn't feel any despair and I didn't even scream, I think I was finished.

— Who are you? - My sister, astonished, was passing by the mirror and saw me.

She gathered my parents and I in the living room.

— Okay, so you woke up as a girl? - Said my mother.

— Is what it seems.

—And you just don't care?

— No.

— You're crazy. - Said my sister, Rin.

— What do we do? - Said my father.

— Let's hug our son, I mean, daughter.

— But this is so sudden... - Rin said.

— We don't have much to do, Rin.

— And what will it be like at school? We have to warn. - Said my father.

For some reason they were dealing well with the fact that I woke up with a girl just out of the blue.

— I'll lend you some pieces of my uniform.

— Since when have you been understanding with me? - I asked Rin.

— Don't fill it! It's just that I always wanted to have a sister, so this is a favorable situation for me.

And that was the beginning of the story of how I had slept and woke up as a girl.

— Who are you?

— Why am I seeing a female version of Nagisa?

— What is happening?

— Am I living a dream? Does someone pinch me?

I had left home with my sister and the four of them were waiting for me at the door of my house.

— Nagisa woke up as a girl.

— WHAT?!!! - Everyone screamed.

— My best friend just fell asleep and woke up as a girl?

— Yes.

— I don't believe it.

— But look, she has red hair, like Nagisa!

— Nagisa, say something!

— Yes, I'm Nagisa.

— Okay, still not believing. Tell us the date when we met. - Makoto asked.

— 02/28/2010.

— It's really you...

— Dude, what do you mean? - Ray said.

 — Nagisa is even wearing a female uniform, since when has he?

— I borrowed it.

— And how are you dealing with this so well?

— I won't talk. I hope you respect Nagisa, as a girl and as my sister.

— Nagisa, are you okay with this? -Amane asked.

— I really don't care about anything.

— Yeah, I forgot that you don't care much about life, no offense. - Yuta said.

— And now, are we going to walk as if nothing had happened?

— That is it.

We walked to the school. My parents went together to explain the whole situation to the school.

I was outside the room waiting for my teacher to introduce me.

— Guys, we have some unexpected news to share with you, but don't be alarmed. You may come in.

I opened the door, went in and went to the teacher's side.

— This is Nagisa. Nagisa woke up like a girl today, so I ask you to respect her, like a girl.

— WHAT?!! - Everyone in the room screamed, except Makoto, who already knew, but he was still amazed at what happened.

I just sat at my desk with everyone looking at me.

Ask her questions later, now let's start the class.

No one could concentrate, I felt several eyes coming my way.

As soon as the class ended, everyone was around my desk asking questions.

— How did this happen?

— How did you become a girl?

— Do you feel good being a girl?

— You are very pretty!

— You look very cute, Nagisa!

There were so many questions and statements that I was getting dizzy. I couldn't answer any.

— Leave her alone, she's processing everything, okay? - Makoto came to defend me speaking with an aggressive tone. Everyone around me left.

— Thank you, Makoto.

— Don't worry, you woke up like a girl, so I think this situation is normal.

After just a few hours, the entire school knew that I had become a girl.

Makoto was walking with me at school, avoiding everyone and telling them not to bother me.

—Leave her alone!

— We're going to the cafeteria, don't bother us.

And things like that.

It was lunch time and we went to the cafeteria. Where we picked up our plates of food and sat down at our table, Ray, Amane and Yuta.

— Everyone is looking at us.

— Not us , they're looking at Nagisa.

— It's normal, now she's a celebrity at school.

— How do you feel about this, Nagisa?

— I honestly don't care. My life won't change anything for me, no matter how much it changes for other people. I'm just living to live.

— Nagisa, now I'm really getting worried about you. - Makoto said.

— No need, you know I've always been like this.

— But life has colors, you need to see them

— I won't deny that sometimes I really want to see the colors of life.

— So let's make you see the colors of life. That is a promise! - said Makoto.

— A promise from the 5 of us, the 5 gamer friends! - Ray said.

— That was nerdy. - Amane said.

— Shut up!

Ray, Amane, Yuta and Makoto placed one hand in the center of the table, bringing them together.

— Only you are missing, Nagisa!

— Put your hand!

— And go!

— Let's go!

I put my hand in the center, being the last hand.

— That's a promise from the 5 of us. - Makoto said.

And everyone threw their hands up, including me.

— Come on, Nagisa, you'll see life differently! - Yuta said.

— I hope.

And that's how I made a promise with my four friends about making me see the colors of life. Even though it is very difficult.