I can find out what color I am.
I was trying not to be melancholy anymore, but it's hard. When I'm alone, I always freak out . I can't be alone, not anymore. Unfortunately I am dependent on friendships.
How long would I continue like this? This cannot continue, I have to be a better person, a person who lives for himself, and not for others, I have to be dependent.
What am I talking about? It's impossible for me to be dependent, I've always been dependent on other people, my sister, my friends, everyone always helps me, but I can never help myself, I'm not a person who does things on my own.
I think it's okay to receive help and support from other people, but to what extent? I can't depend on them forever, I have to be strong, I can't be weak, but I am weak, very weak, extremely weak, I am not strong and maybe I will never be strong.
Yeah, I'm freaking out again, that's why I can't be alone under any circumstances, or I'll drown in my bad thoughts again. And this is happening now, I'm drowning. I don't want to drown anymore, but that's inevitable, when alone, I will always drown.
I DON'T WANT TO DROWN ANYMORE!
Yeah, I'm totally lost.
—Nagisa? Wake up!
I heard a voice calling me.
— Nagisa! Wake up!
Another voice trying to call me.
— Nagisa!!!
A third voice trying to wake me up.
— Nagisa, come quickly.
A fourth voice.
I'm going to open my eyes, I really have nothing to lose.
When I opened it, I found four people staring at me, Rin, Kaito, Rina and Kaede. Oh, right, I was on the student council.
— You can't sleep in meetings like that. - Rin said.
- Oh sorry.
— Alright, anyway, is the budget ok?
— Yes, the school has already given us enough. - Said Kaito.
— Then everything is fine, we just need to notify the whole school.
— What is happening?
— Ah, Nagisa, don't you remember? We are going on a school trip to a seaside town.
Now I remembered, this meeting was about that.
— Oh, true.
— Nagisa, you will be the representative of classes 1-A and 1-B. And I will be a representative of classes 1-C and 1-D.
— Right.
— Rina, you will represent classes 2-A and 2-B. Kaede, will represent classes 2-C and 2-D.
— Ok!
— I'm always ready!
— Kaito, you will take care of all the third year classes.
— It will be complicated and very difficult.
— I know you'll be able to handle it.
— I am going to try.
So I would help Makoto, Yuta, Ray, Amane and Kaori...
It would be the biggest responsibility I would take on in my life, would I be able to handle it?
— Anyway, in a few hours we will announce this in the courtyard. All high school students will be there, don't be shy!
Would I have to announce this to the whole school? And my shyness, my shame? I will not be able to!
— You'll make it, sister. Focus and breathe.
— Okay...
How did she read my mind?
After a few hours, Rin notified the entire school over the school's speakers. Everyone on the council was already on the stage, in the courtyard.
"All students come to the school yard! Now!"
After a few minutes, all the students were there, sitting. The teachers were leaning against the walls.
— My name is Rin, I'm the president of the student council and a student of 1-C. Thank you for coming here and listening to me.
Everyone was silent.
— I'll be direct, everyone here will receive a free plane ticket to the nearest coastal city.
Everyone started screaming.
— I ask for silence, please.
— Anyway, only if you want, it's not obligatory to go. The hotel will be reserved for the entire school, there will be an eight-day trip, and it will start in a week.
— In order not to get lost on the trip, the council members will be representatives of specific rooms.
— Nagisa Yamada will represent classes 1-A and 1-B. I, Rin Yamada will be the representative of classes 1-C and 1-D. Rina Tanaka will represent classes 2-A and 2-B. Kaede Nishida will represent classes 2-C and 2-D. Kaito Harada will represent all third-year classes.
— The hotel has everything, snack bar, hot springs and other things. The hotel is in front of the beach, but you can only leave with the support of a teacher and your class representative. The rooms will have two beds for each double. You can choose your pair, but for school policy reasons, only girls with girls and boys with boys.
— That's it, you received your tickets on your cell phone. Have fun, and thank you!
It will be quite a trip.
YOU ARE READING
I want to know what color I am. Vol. 1
General FictionI didn't do the cover art! Nagisa is a first year high school boy with social anxiety and completely insecure. He has friends, but he doesn't trust them or himself. Nagisa also has strong signs of depression. His grades are good and his performance...
