Incorrect ELO Quotes

Hugh Spreading Chaos Or Whatever

Hugh: Hello friends!
The Squad:
Hugh: You might be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling

Hugh: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.

Hugh, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

Hugh: I'm so jetlagged I can't even regrender my chorf.
*Everyone stares at Hugh*
Hugh: I don't even know what I was trying to say.

Hugh, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you're doing it all wrong.

Hugh: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Hugh: I'm a multitasker!
Hugh: I can disappoint fifteen people at once.

Melvyn, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like "Chipotle".
Melvyn, in shock: Wait a minute, is it "Chip-o-tottle"?

Melvyn: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

*Melvyn is ordering a cake over the phone*
Shop Employee: ...and what would you like your cake to say?
Melvyn, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?

Hugh: *finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods*
Hugh, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Hugh: Still not over how yesterday when my flight landed, our pilot said we arrived 50 minutes early because they took some "shortcuts".
Hugh: Excuse me, we were in the sky, what do you mean???

Bev: Where's Richard?
Jeff: Around.
Bev: Around?
Bev: You don't have any idea, do you?
Richard, dropping down from above: Did you know there's a space above the ceiling?

Jeff: Why does Richard always do the laundry so loudly?
Bev: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house.
Richard, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

Richard: I feel like Bev is looking down on me.
Jeff: That's because he's on the counter and you're short.

Kelly: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I'll get a penguin!
Mik: Penguins are real.
Kelly: That's the spirit, Mik ! They're real to me too!

Kelly: As usual, Kelly has to save the day!
Mik: As usual, Mik has to hear about it.

Kelly: I'm the smartest, wisest person in this group.
Mik: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?
Kelly: I paid for my Mars Bar, I'm getting my Mars Bar.

Kelly: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.
Mik: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

Mik: Kelly, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Kelly: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Kelly: I know this isn't going to end well and I don't care. So don't you try and stop me, Mik !
Mik: I wasn't stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Kelly, running: Slow down, Mik , I can't ketchup!
Mik, not slowing down: You'll just have to use all the strength you can mustard.

Kelly: Trouble at 2 o'clock!
Mik: *looks down at his watch*
Mik: Now, how do you know that?

Mik: If I didn't know better, Kelly, I'd say you were scared.
Kelly: Heh, scared?
*absolute silence*
Kelly: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

Mik: Act natural.
Kelly: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.
Mik: NO, that's not what I meant! Act like it's a normal day!
Kelly: My 'normal' days of late, consist of a lot of panic.
Mik: Will you just cooperate?
Kelly: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Kelly: One time I went to hand Mik a bowl of soup. I wanted to say "Careful, it's hot!", and "Here's your soup!", so instead I blurted out "Careful it's soup."

Kelly: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Mik: This is light?!

Kelly: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea.
Mik: Well then whose is it?
Kelly, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Kelly: *is throwing stones at Mik's window*
Mik: You have a phone for a reason, Kelly!
*THUD*
Mik: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

Jeff: How do you type so fast?
Melvyn: Anxiety.

Melvyn : You know, there's something weird going on with your face?
Hugh: What?
Melvyn: You're smiling! I didn't know you could do that?

Kelly: Did you wash the dishes?
Richard: I thought you wanted to do that...
Kelly: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Richard, near tears: Please, Kelly, I don't speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Jeff: Do you take constructive criticism?
Melvyn: No, only cash or credit.

Hugh: I have very high standards, you know.
Kelly: I can make spaghetti...
Hugh: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

Kelly: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Mik: It was me...
Kelly: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Richard, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Kelly: Gray.
Hugh: Grey.
Richard, turning to Melvyn: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Melvyn: Dark white.

Melvyn: Why are Hugh and Kelly sitting with their backs to each other?
Richard: They had a fight.
Melvyn: Then why are they holding hands?
Richard: They get sad when they fight.

Kelly: I told Hugh to grab snacks for everyone.
Richard, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Kelly, Hugh, and Melvyn raise their hands*

Kelly: How do Melvyn and Hugh usually get out of these messes?
Richard: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

Richard: Wake me up-
Kelly: Before you go go
Melvyn: When September ends
Hugh: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Richard: You guys worried about Hugh?
Kelly: Totally!
Melvyn: Yeah, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"
Richard: And what'd you say?
Melvyn: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."
Kelly:
Richard: He's lucky to have you as a friend.

Kelly: What's up with Melvyn ? He's been laying on the floor for like....an hour now?
Hugh: He's just a little overwhelmed.
Kelly: Why?
Hugh: Richard smiled at him.

Richard, referring to Hugh and Melvyn: Those guys are dorks.
Kelly: Yes, but they're my dorks.

Melvyn, in a room with Kelly, Hugh, and Richard: It's calm in here.
Richard: It scares me...

Melvyn: Good. Thanks, dad.
Richard: You just called Hugh "dad". You just said "thanks, dad."
Melvyn: What? No, I didn't. I said "thanks, man".
Hugh: Do you see me as a father figure, Melvyn?
Melvyn: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure 'cause you're always bothering me.
Kelly: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Kelly: Go on, give Melvyn a compliment.
Hugh: How do you expect me to do that?
Richard: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you.
Hugh: Uhh... You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day!
Melvyn, sobbing: Nobody's ever said that to me before!

Richard: What are the hardest things to say?
Kelly: I was wrong.
Hugh: I need help.
Melvyn: Worcestershire sauce.

Melvyn: Why is Richard crying on the floor?
Kelly: He took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.
Melvyn: And?
Kelly: He got Hugh.