Mik Exists Adorably And Incomprehensible Situations Happen

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Richard: *closes a cabinet*
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Mik: What was that?
Richard: The sound of someone else's problem.

Mik: That's the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.
Richard: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?
Mik: I like the way you think.

Richard: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?
Mik: It's just you.

Mik: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Richard: It's actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Mik: This is tied for most terrifying day of my life.
Richard: Tied with what?
Mik: Every other day of myself!

Mik : And what do I get out of this?
Richard: I will give you a dollar.
Mik: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Richard: How bout two dollars?
Mik: You got yourself a deal.

Richard: I feel like I can be myself around you.
Mik: You're weird and quiet around me.
Richard: Yes.

Mik : Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Bev: Blocked.
Mik : Sometimes, they're good girls!
Bev: UNBLOCKED!

Mik: Can we get a birthday cake?
Richard: It's not your birthday.
Mik: The cake won't know!

Mik: Knock, knock.
Richard: Who's there?
Mik: Boo!
Richard: Boo who?
Mik: Why are you crying?
Richard: I'm not crying.
Mik: Hello notcrying, I'm Mik.

Jeff: Hugh is not allowed to violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
Jeff: No matter how many times you say please, Hugh. We won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.

Melvyn: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.
Jeff: What baby?
Melvyn, crying a bit: Me.

Hugh: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Richard: That doesn't exist.
Hugh: Not with that attitude.

Jeff: Hugh, we're hungry!
Richard: Hugh! What's for dinner?
Bev: We're hungry, Hugh!
Hugh, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Hugh & Melvyn in the back of Jeff's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Richard: We have food at home.
Jeff: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Hugh & Melvyn: YAYYYYYY!
Jeff: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Kelly: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Mik: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Jeff: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Bev: What was the color called before then?
Melvyn: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

Jeff: Where's Hugh?
Melvyn: Doing stuff.
Jeff: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Bev?
Melvyn: Trying to stop Hugh from doing the stuff.
Jeff: And Kelly?
Melvyn: Trying to stop Bev from stopping Hugh from doing the stuff.
Jeff: I see. And what are you doing here, Melvyn?
Melvyn: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Kelly from stopping Bev from stopping Hugh from doing the stuff.

Melvyn: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. Jeff has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.
Hugh: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn't want to be at?
Melvyn: I knew you'd understand.

Richard: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats?
Melvyn: They need to learn how to protect us.

Melvyn, about to leave the house: Don't spend all day watching YouTube, okay?
Richard: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!

Melvyn: *makes Richard a cup of tea but puts salt in it*
Richard: *sips tea*
Melvyn:
Richard: *finishes tea*
Melvyn: Didn't it taste bad?
Richard: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Melvyn, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Melvyn: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Hugh: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Melvyn: Not when you're playing with Richard, it's not. He puts words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."

Jeff: And here we see Hugh and Melvyn in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Hugh: Gaelic bread.
Melvyn: Grueling brad.
Hugh: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Kelly: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much.
Melvyn: You consider anything made before 2000 old and bad.
Kelly: And I reserve that right! After all....
Kelly: I bet you wouldn't like the average movie made in 1879!
Melvyn: There were no movies made in 1879.
Kelly: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping!
Hugh: Oooh! Let's go ask Richard if he saw it in theatres!

*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Richard: *Minding his own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Richard: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Hugh, to Melvyn: See, he knows what he's here for. He know what he's doing. Be more like him. Make a decision, Melvyn!

Hugh: Thanks for not telling Melvyn what happened.
Richard, dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Richard: Melvyn told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

Richard: Do you want some tea?
Melvyn: What are the options?
Richard: Yes or no.

Melvyn, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.
Richard: Do you think other people can't hear you?

Melvyn, to Richard: I mean, I get complimented all the time-
Hugh: *starts cackling*
Melvyn: I do!
Hugh: *laughs harder*

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