Incorrect ELO Quotes

Bev Has A Field Day With His Nonsense And More

Kelly: It's alright, we have salt packets.
Richard: Not the ones that snap in half, but sure.

Bev: What's wrong?
Melvyn: I have to write a whole paragraph for school.
Bev: That's not so bad; I write entire books.
Melvyn: Yeah, but this has to be good.

Melvyn: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.
Bev: What?
Melvyn: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.
Bev: So a calzone?
Melvyn: You can't just name things I dream up.

Bev: I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation.
Melvyn: Yeah! We're cowards!

Melvyn: Bev told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.

Hugh: Bev likes to say 'you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,' but I happen to believe you can be both.

Bev: You disgust me.
Melvyn: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don't care.

Melvyn: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.
Bev: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Melvyn: What are you eating?
Bev: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.
Melvyn: I like you, don't I?

Melvyn, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?
Bev: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.
Melvyn:
Melvyn: Water you doing?

Bev, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Melvyn: Ok, I think it's time to turn off the game for a little while.
Bev: But I'm having fun!

Bev: I know this isn't going to end well and I don't care. So don't you try and stop me, Melvyn!
Melvyn: I wasn't stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Melvyn: Hey guys, I'm making french toast sticks in the oven. I'm gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.
*5 minutes later*
Bev: Melvyn it's been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.
Melvyn: snnnzzzz...
Bev: MELVYN YOUR STICKS!

Bev: Do you even know what an amulet is?
Melvyn: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!
Bev: Melvyn, those are omelettes.
Melvyn: Oh. Then I've got nothing.

Melvyn: Here you go, Bev, a nice hot cup of coffee!
Bev: It's cold.
Melvyn: A nice cup of coffee.
Bev: It's horrible!
Melvyn: Cup of coffee.
Bev: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.
Melvyn: C U P.

Bev: Hey Melvyn, can I get some icecream?
Melvyn: Only a spoonful!
Bev: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Melvyn: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.
Bev: But you do know better.

Melvyn: You know what I've realized?
Bev: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?
Melvyn: Nice try, anyways-

Bev: You know, there's only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.
Melvyn: Me.
Bev: No.
Bev: Me.

Kelly: You know, on second thought, Gum would be perfection.
Bev: *Gives him a strange look and hands him a piece of gum*
Kelly: *Thinking* Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Kelly to Bev: Turn that frown upside-down!
*a little while later*
Kelly: What are you doing?
Bev, trying to do a handstand: You told me to "turn that frown upside-down" but it's not working .