Incorrect ELO Quotes

Richard Being Sassy While The Others Have The Time Of Their Lives

*Melvyn sends more than 5 messages in a row*
Jeff: I ain't reading all that.
Jeff: I'm happy for you tho.
Jeff: Or sorry that happened.

Jeff: So Mel, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
Melvyn: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
Jeff: Oo! Okay, what are we having?
Melvyn: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
Jeff: A whole potato?
Melvyn: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
Jeff: These just look like big slabs of black.
Melvyn: Because that's what they are!
Melvyn: And then for dessert, we have chocolate.
Jeff: These are just chocolate chips?
Melvyn: They sure are!
Melvyn: And then for drinks, we have toast!
Melvyn: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetit!

Jeff: Bev...
Bev: Oh no, 'Bev' in B flat.
Bev: You're disappointed.

Bev: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I'm just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.
Bev: You could always take it out and count it.
Jeff: Where's the fun in that?

Bev: If there are no questions, we'll move on to the next chapter.
Jeff: I have a question.
Bev: Certainly, Jeff. What is it?
Jeff: What's the point of human existence?
Bev: I meant any questions about the subject at hand.
Jeff: Oh.
Jeff: Frankly, I'd like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this.

Hugh: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.
Bev: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Jeff, on the phone: I better go...kay, call me later... byeeee!
Bev: Friend of Yours?
Jeff: Nope, wrong number.
Bev: ???

Bev: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Jeff periodically send me texts saying 'we need to talk.'
Bev: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Jeff: Hugh, I need some advice.
Hugh: You need advice from ME?
Jeff: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Bev: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Hugh: *sighs* That's true...
Hugh: But two negatives make a positive!!!

Jeff: I wouldn't put it in those words exactly.
Bev: Why not?
Jeff: Because I don't know what they mean.

Bev: I made tea.
Jeff: I don't want tea.
Bev: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.
Jeff: Then why did you tell me?
Bev: It's a conversation starter.
Jeff: It's a horrible conversation starter.
Bev: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Jeff: Hugh, no.
Hugh: Hugh, yes.

Mr. Night, Hugh & Jeff: *screaming*
Mr. Blue Sky: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Jeff?!
Mr. Night: Wait, why are you asking Jeff that when Hugh and I are also here?
Mr. Blue Sky: Because Jeff wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Mr. Blue Sky: Shh, here comes Mr Night!
Jeff: Quick, Hugh, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Hugh: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.
Jeff: Yes, that's perfect. Just like that.

Hugh: Where is Mr. Night?
Jeff: I'll do you one better, who is Mr. Night??
Mr. Blue Sky: Here's a better question, why is Mr. Night?

Bev: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.
Richard: What makes you say that?
Bev: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?
Richard: Bev... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?
Bev: *screams in anger*